(I call a customer because her order has arrived.)

Me: “Good morning, this is [store]. Your owl has arrived. You can pick him up at your convenience.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll come by today!”

Me: “If you need any advice, you can call us any time.”

Customer: “Oh, but I’ve read up on owls. Raw meat every day and walks twice a day! And buy ear plugs before every full moon!”

Me: “Um, ma’am, you know it’s a bird, right?”