(I work in a call center that distributes supplies to missions all over the world. We get called at least three times a week, sometimes more, by a woman who likes to order supplies for her mission one or two items at a time. Also, all missionaries carry a ministerial card, certifying them as authorized representatives of our church.)

Me: “Okay, I’ve entered that order for you. Is there anything else you need?”

Customer: “Yes, I need a menstrual certificate.”

Me: “I’m sorry, a what?”

Customer: “A menstrual certificate!”

Me: “A what?”

Customer: “A menstrual certificate! One of our elders has lost his menstrual certificate, and he needs a new one!”

Me: “Um, I think you should call the missionary department about that one.”

Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation