(I am teaching a children’s Bible Study lesson on the sons of Isaac.)

Me: “So the first twin’s name was Esau, which means hairy. And his brother came out holding onto his heel, and his parents named him Jacob.”

Girl #1: “Like the werewolf in Twilight?”

Girl #2: “Why did they name him Jacob? Does it mean ‘holding heels’ or something?”

Me: “Uh… hold on.”

(I go to the back of the room to look in the Bible, and see if it mentions why they chose the name Jacob.)

Girl #1: “Jacob is like the name from Twilight!”

Me: “Please don’t mention that book around me.”

Girl #3: “Do you like Twilight, Miss [my name]?”

Me: “No, I do not!”

Girl #1: “Why not?”

(I open my mouth to answer, but…)

Boy: “Because it’s BAD!”