(This phone call happened a month after hurricane Ike came through, and one of our clients missed his court date.)

Me: “Sir, why did you miss your court date?”

Client: “I’m not going back to jail! I missed court because I’m not back from the evaporation yet.”

Me: “Uh…what?”

Client: “I had to evaporate up north.”

Me: “…really? Evaporate? How did you do that? Was it painful?”

Client: “No! We rode a bus! What don’t you understand about having to evaporate?! I’m not going back to jail!”

Me: *sigh*