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    The Following Stupidity Takes Place In Real Time

    | Boulder, CO, USA |

    (A very intoxicated guest walks in at night.)

    Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

    Guest: “I lost the key to my room.”

    Me: “Do you have your photo ID?”

    Guest: “No, I lost it. My room number is 4321.”

    (Our highest room number is 558.)

    Me: “What is the name on the room?”

    Guest: “Jack. Jack Bauer.”

    Me: “We don’t have a Mr. Bauer staying with us tonight.”

    Guest: “That’s ridiculous! Jack Bauer fights terrorism everywhere! All the time!”