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    The Fine Art Of Firing A Customer

    | Fremont, CA, USA | Top

    (A friend of mine who manages a self storage facility has a troublemaking customer that he has been trying to get rid of. One day, the customer comes up asking about a promotional offer.)

    Customer: “Hi, I saw on your website that you have storage for $100, but I’m paying $130.”

    Manager: “Yeah, that’s a promotional rate.”

    Customer: “Well, can I get that rate?”

    Manager: “I can’t just change people’s rates. It’s only for new customers to that space.”

    Customer: “Well, can I just move into that storage?”

    Manager: “You can’t just move it from one storage to the other and get the new rate. You would have to have everything out because I can’t vacate it until it’s empty.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll move this Saturday.”

    (The customer moves out the following Saturday, gets everything loaded into their truck then stops by the office.)

    Customer: “Alright, I moved everything out of my storage.”

    Manager: “That’s great. Now, get out.”

    Customer: “What? Can I get that other storage?”

    Manager: “Well, I looked at your past history with the company and you’ve been consistently late and rude to other customers. I’m afraid we’re going to deny the new rental. My manager wouldn’t let me evict you but you moved out yourself, so everything’s good.”

    Customer: “But I have all my things taken off the property! Where am I going to put them?”

    Manager: “Anywhere but here.”