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    The Featherweight Watchers Program

    | Richmond, VA, USA |

    Customer: “I need to get a new box of this…” *hands me a box of bird seed*

    Me: “Sure, was there a problem with it?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it was messy. I had to keep picking through sticks to get to the good stuff.”

    Me: “Wait, were you eating this? ”

    Customer: “Uh-huh, just now, in my car. It’s good, but I had to keep picking through the sticks.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is actually bird seed. ”

    Customer: “Oh, is it? Well, it’s pretty good. It just has a lot of sticks in it.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, I’m a little worried that this might be dangerous for consumption by humans, so if you’ll hang on a minute, let me call someone.”

    (I call Poison Control and they tell me she will be fine. The only problem is that the bird seed would have a high fat content. I relay this to the customer.)

    Customer: “Oh. Well, if it’s high in calories, I don’t want it!”