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  • The End Justifies The Crazy Means

    | Munich, Germany |

    (I worked as a debt collector for a car rental agency.)

    Debtor: *on the phone* “You sent me a court order about a debt. I can’t pay it. But, I can offer you some paintings I made.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I cannot accept them. You have to pay cash or make a wire transfer.”

    Debtor: “They’re good paintings – I have written confirmation by the Arts Department of the University of **** that they’re good.”

    Me: “If they’re that good, I recommend that you sell a few of the paintings. Then you’ll have money to pay your debt.

    Debtor: “I can’t do that! To sell a painting I’d have to ruin a marriage!”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand…”

    Debtor: “Well, for a man to buy a painting off me, I’d have to sleep with him. His wife would find out, and she’d divorce him.”

    Me: “Ma’am…I think that you should check your relationship with reality. I am extending your deadline by one week; please pay cash or transfer…”

    Me: *to my co-worker* “I can’t believe she just said that. I can’t believe I just said that.”