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    That’s What You Get For Choo-Choo-ing Me Out

    | Coventry, UK | Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work as a maintenance man for the top railway maintenance company in the UK. I’m maintaining buttons on the station platforms—important buttons that station staff use to let the signalman know the train is boarded and ready to leave. I must also add that to test these buttons, we need a train to be present.)

    Customer: “Excuse me lad, can you tell me when the next train to Euston is, please?”

    Me: *looking up at information boards* “I can see that it is due any minute now. Should you need any more help, you can just refer to the digital screens above you.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

    Me: “E-Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I checked on my phone half hour ago, and it said the train was due at 22 minutes past. It is now half past.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Usually, the station staff can tell you why the delay has been caused, but I can tell from the screen…” *points* “…that it is expected in a couple of minutes. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you any more, as I’m just here to make the trains safe to run.”

    Customer: “F***ing typical! Won’t help no c***!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You railwaymen are all the f***ing same! Whenever I see you ‘working,’ you are just standing about!”

    Me: “I assure you, sir, we work very hard, but currently we are waiting for a train so we can test the station’s communication with the signalman. Without a train, the button panel won’t communicate with him.”

    Customer: “Bull****!”

    Me: “Well, I—”

    Customer: “Whenever I pass you guys on the train, you are always standing at the side of the track, doing nothing! No wonder train fares increased because YOU b******s are leeching the system!”

    Me: “Are you talking about when the train is moving and you see men like us on the track?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Well, if we were maintaining things on the track…how are we meant to do that if a train is driving over it?”

    Customer: *turns red*

    (He runs off, mumbling, before catching a station attendant and ripping into him as well…and missing his train in the process.)