That’s The Way The Keyboard Crumbles

Customer: *over the phone* “Hi, could you check out my computer? I think something is wrong with the keyboard.”

Me: “Okay, do you have any idea what it might be?”

Customer: “No, I just know that it has to be the keyboard. Everything else seems fine.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be over later.”

(I drive to the customer’s house. She lets me in and shows me her desk.)

Me: “Well, first off, your space bar is upside-down.”

Customer: “I‚ uh‚ wasn’t gonna tell you that. Didn’t know if it’d be important.”

(I remove the upside-down space bar.)

Me: “Your keyboard is full of crumbs. Have you been eating over it?”

Customer: “Well, I wasn’t gonna tell you that either.”

(I grab a can of air and blow the crumbs out.)

Me: “That’s weird, they’re not coming out. It’s sticky inside. Did you recently spill soda into this?”

Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t gonna tell you all of this. I thought you’d get mad and not come.”

Me: “Listen, there’s really nothing I can do. I’m sorry, you’ll need a whole new keyboard.”

Customer: “See! I told you you’d just up and leave if I told you!”