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    That’s Just Golden

    | Tulsa, OK, USA |

    (Note: we deal with the airline employees.)

    Me: “Customer service, this is ***. May I have your file number?”

    (The airline employee gives his file number, and I verify his information is correct.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Airline employee: “Promise you won’t laugh.”

    Me: “I’ll try, sir.”

    Airline employee: “I’m calling to report that a customer relieved himself in one of the Electronic Check-in Units. I need to ask for a tech to come out and make sure there’s no damage to the computer.”

    Me: “Oh my gosh, of course. Where in the airport is the machine?”

    Airline employee: “It’s near Gate 27. We call it Irregular Operations because that’s where–no pun intended–the customers have to go to get their tickets when they’re pissed off.”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’m writing this up as being water damage that the tech will need to check out. Is there anything else I can do to help you?”

    Airline employee: “You got any Febreeze?”