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    That’s Assuming If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood

    | Louisiana, USA | Top

    (This was my last week at a very lousy sales job working for a major jewelry manufacturer that deals exclusively with jewelers on a screened account basis.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling *****. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a price check on a diamond.”

    (We go through a drawn out process of finding the stone he wants, a large carat, high grade diamond. I quote him the price in the system.)

    Customer: “That can’t be right! That’s too expensive!”

    Me: “It’s the price I have in the system, sir. If you like, we can look for a different piece?”

    Customer: “NO! It has to be that one! Are you sure that’s the right price?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Are you absolutely certain?”

    Me: “Absolutely, sir.”

    Customer: “And that’s in dollars, right?”

    (At this point, I’m fed up and not really concerned with whether I get fired or not at this point. I answer in my most sincere deadpan.)

    Me: “No, sir. That’s in woodchucks. We deal exclusively in fresh, live woodchucks.”

    (I hear a bark of laughter from one of the call monitoring agents on the next row, which gets even louder when the customer asks if I’m serious.)