That’ll Be An Arm And A Never Mind

(A customer is complaining that we have cancelled her membership with us, even though she hasn’t paid for it for six months.)

Customer: “This is getting ridiculous. I am going to take this to [local news station]. I’m disabled, and you’re discriminating against me because I am disabled.”

Me: “I am not discriminating against you. The same rule applies to all members who fail to pay for their membership. Unfortunately, it has been cancelled and the only way to become a member again is to rejoin.”

Customer: “If you don’t fix this for me, I’m going to come down there to your head office, take off my prosthetic leg, and beat you with it! Good bye!”