Me: “Hello! Welcome to [restaurant].”

(I begin pouring water, as is customary at any restaurant.)

Woman: “We didn’t ASK for water.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. Should I bring you something else?”

Woman: *sighs* “No! No! No! Fine! Well take the d*** water.”

(I proceed to bring her the food, and she complains incessantly about everything she can think of until finally her entree comes out.)

Woman: “This isn’t what I ordered.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is what you ordered. I can show you the bill… it’s clearly written that this is what you ordered.”

Woman: “No it’s not! I DID NOT ORDER THIS!”

Me: “You did now…”

Woman, to husband: “Come on, let’s leave!”

Husband: “Why? Because you’re being a b****?”