Telepathy Is Fun

Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Support]. My name is [My Name]. What can I help you with today?

Customer: “I’ll tell you how you can help, fix my d*** computer!”

Me: “So, what is the problem with the computer today?”

Customer: “It’s broken. Fix it.”

Me: “Okay, but how is it broken?”

Customer: “I don’t know; just fix it.”

Me: “Is it not turning on, or is it not booting up?”

Customer: “I don’t know about computers. Just fix the problem already!”

(This proceeds for almost fifteen minutes back and forth. Finally, I decide to have some fun. I ask the customer to hold on for a second. I start shuffling some papers and opening and closing my desk drawer quite loudly.)

Customer: “What was all that noise?”

Me: “I think I found something we can use to fix this issue.”

Customer: “Good, so get started on it.”

Me: “Okay… Now, I’m holding in front of me a crystal ball… I’m picturing the issue with the computer… The computer is broken, and I’ve found a solution…”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager. That is very rude!”

Me: “Sure thing, but wait… I see something else… I see this call ending, now!” *click*

(Thank goodness it was one am and nobody listened in on that call, or I’d have been fired.)