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    Taking It Down To The Wire

    | USA |

    Customer: “My computer says I didn’t pay my internet bill and it won’t let me do anything. I just paid my bill!”

    Me: “Well, lets take a look and see what is happening with this.”

    Customer: “I make my living off the internet! Hurry up!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid my records show that you don’t have internet as one of your services through this company.”

    Customer: “I pay a lot of money every month for this d*** service! You need to fix this and fix this now! I have been a customer of yours for years!”

    Me: “Can you please read me the message that is appearing on your computer monitor?”

    (Customer reads me message.)

    Me: “It appears that you indeed do not have internet service through us because the message you just read included someone else’s wireless account number. Ma’am, you are using someone else’s internet service.”

    Customer: “Why did you shut me off then?”

    Me: “We didn’t shut you off. We shut off someone else’s account for a delinquent balance and that was the account that you were stealing internet from.”

    Customer: “Well, just turn it back on then. I need my internet.”

    Me: “I can turn it back on in one of two ways. One: you pay for your own internet. Two: you pay for your neighbors internet to be turned back on so you can continue using something you aren’t supposed to be.”

    Customer: *hangs up*