Taking A Pregnant Pause On Menopause

(I am 29. I am at the doctor to have a pregnancy test, as I have previously had a false positive on a store-bought test and want to be absolutely sure this time. My regular doctor has unexpectedly been called away due to a family emergency, so I get sent to a doctor I’ve never seen at this clinic before.)

Doctor: “What symptoms have you been having?”

Me: “I’ve missed my last two periods, but other than that I haven’t noticed anything unusual. My husband and I haven’t been using any birth control, though.”

Doctor: “Uh-huh. And why didn’t you just buy a test kit from the drugstore?”

Me: “I’ve had false positives on those before, so I decided to just come straight here this time and find out for sure.”

Doctor: *snotty tone* “You do know that when you reach a certain age, you stop menstruating, right? It’s called menopause.”

Me: *shocked by his tone* “Pardon?”

Doctor: “MENOPAUSE. Your periods stop. It means you’re too old to bear children.”

Me: “I— well, I don’t think I should be concerned about that just yet. Can I please just get the pregnancy test?”

Doctor: “It can happen anytime after 40. You’re what, about 45, 46?”

Me: “I’m 29!”

Doctor: *rolls his eyes* “I don’t have time for that female vanity crap. I’d say you’re 45 if you’re a day.”

Me: “I’m telling the truth. I’m 29. They have my date of birth on my patient file here.”

Doctor: *looks at my file* “Well, you obviously gave them a false date of birth. I won’t report you, though. I know it can be hard to come to terms with aging, especially for women, but you really need to learn to deal with it.”

Me: “I swear to you, that is my correct date of birth. I have my driver’s license here. I had to show it to the receptionist when I switched to this clinic.”

(I pull out my wallet and hand the doctor my driver’s license.)

Doctor: “Wow, this is pretty good! I had a friend in university who used to make fake IDs that were about as good as this.” *suddenly turns serious* “Now please, stop wasting time trying to tell me you’re younger than you are.”

Me: *close to tears by this point* “Could you please just do the test now?”

Doctor: “It would be pointless. My advice is to ask the receptionist for some pamphlets on menopause, make an appointment with a gynecologist, and look into getting some counseling for this complex you have about getting older. I have other patients to attend to.”

(I left, but not before letting the receptionist know what happened and scheduling an appointment for the following week with my regular doctor. When I went in for the second appointment, I found out that I was indeed pregnant. Six months later I was in the waiting room of the clinic while my husband got checked out for a sinus infection, when who should appear but the rude doctor! He saw my heavily pregnant self, recognized me, and proceeded to berate me about having children ‘at such an advanced age’ and told me that my child would almost certainly have a developmental disability or be stillborn!)