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    No, But They Do A Wonderful Brogue

    | Scotland, UK |

    Me: “Hi, do you need any help?”

    Guy at the zoo: “Yeah… do the chimps, like, speak English?”

    Me: “Ummm…. no.”

    Why Context Is Important

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants…)

    Mom: “Oh look honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”

    Please Do Not Pet The Employees

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    (I was a volunteer at the zoo, and was walking around an exhibit room with a boa constrictor in my arms so people could pet her.)

    Man: “Can we pet it? It’s not slimy, is it?”

    Me: “No sir, not at all. She’s very sweet, go ahead.”

    Man: *pets snake* “Wow, it’s really soft.” *reaches for my head* “Let’s see if its handler is, too…”

    Me: “?!?” *dodges his hand*

    (Thankfully, he left quickly!)

    Oh Give Me a Home, Where The Jackalopes Roam

    | USA |

    Little boy: “What are those?”

    Zookeeper: “That’s a Cavy.”

    (Note: Cavies are another name for guinea pigs.)

    Little boy’s father: “No they’re not. They’re Jack-a-lopes. But I don’t see any antlers, so they must all be does.”

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