October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Extreme Primate Refereeing

| San Diego, CA, USA | Top

(I work at a snack cart across from the gorilla enclosure. A woman walks up to me and this conversation ensued.)

Customer: “Look! Look! The gorillas are fighting!”

Me: “No, they just rough-house like that about this time every day.”

Customer: “No, that’s fighting, someone’s going to get hurt.”

Me: “Ma’am, seriously, that’s how they play.”

Customer: “That’s a fight! Stop them! Right now! It’s a bad example for the children.”

Me: “Stop them…how?”

Customer: “Get in there and make them cut it out right now!”

Me: *staring at her while other customers in line laugh*

Customer: *stomping off* “I’m telling your boss you won’t stop that violence!”

Next customer in line: “So you’re in charge of gorillas AND churros, huh?”

Endangered With Comb-Overs

| Washington, DC, USA | Uncategorized

(A man walks up to me with his son while I’m tending the Bird section.)

Man: “Excuse me, what are those birds?”

Me: “They’re bald eagles.”

Man: “Well, that’s just so g**d**n cheap! Our nation’s capital, and we can’t even afford young eagles!”

Me: “Sir, that eagle isn’t very old at all. Eagles have a life span of–”

Man: “Don’t give me any excuses! I know they’re old! They’re bald! You only get bald when you’re old!”

Man’s son: “Yeah, just like you Dad!”


(Apparently, on his way out he had complained about the same thing to three zookeepers, and all three of them just laughed.)

When Stupid People Attack

| New York, NY, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

Customer: “Hey, you!”

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “These bears are extremely boring. I paid money to see the animals move around.”

Me: “It’s very hot today, ma’am. Bears don’t like to move around much on hot days, and they sleep at least 16 hours out of the day anyway.”

Customer: “I don’t care if it’s hot outside. Why won’t they do anything?”

Me: “Ma’am, the bears are not required to move around for your entertainment.”

Customer: “Well, they should be!”

Me: “They’re wild animals, ma’am. If they don’t want to move around, they don’t have to.”

Customer: “I want to see your superior! Maybe he will understand!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “These bears are boring!”

Manager: *tells her what I said about hot days*

Customer: “Go poke them or something. Make them move!”

Me: “You’re asking me to go into an enclosed area with a group of thousand-pound carnivores, and poke them with a stick so that they can amuse you?

Customer: “Yes! Just make them do something!”

When Quacks Attack

| La Crosse, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(I worked at a zoo next to a nature trail through some wetlands. It’s not part of the zoo, just a good view.)

Them: “Hey, we just love that walking trail.”

Me: “That’s great.”

Them: “Yeah, but I was wondering. How do you keep the animals in place?”

Me: “Well, we have cages for that.”

Them: “No, out there, on the trail.”

Me: “Those are wild animals, ma’am.”

Them: “Really? But they were sitting so nicely!”

Me: “Ducks tend to do that.”

This Chicken Has Flown The Coop

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(Working at the zoo, I hear a lot of strange things from visitors…)

Me: *feeds chickens*

Older man: “Oh, you’re a bus stop!”

Me: “Huh?”

Older man: “A bus stop! You’re a bus stop, aren’t you?”

Me: “?”

Woman: “No, she’s not a bus stop.”

Older man: “…oh.”

Me: *completely at a loss*

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