This happened in the early 2000s. My town has a small “farm” petting zoo to educate kids about cows, sheep, pigs, and the like. It’s really not big and they get little city funding, making them dependent on donations. The petting zoo wants to organise a spring festival, but money is an issue. Long story short, I volunteer to do face painting, using my own materials, for free. Parents can pay what they want and all the money will go to the petting zoo. Everyone is nice, and most kids want to be a bunny, a cow, or a princess… and one kid wants to be Spider-Man.

After three hours of non-stop painting, we notice a frantic woman.

Woman: “Has anyone seen a little boy? My son is missing!”

One organisation employee asks for details. This petting zoo has no electronic communication devices, so someone needs to get information and then spread the word.

The woman tells us her son is four and describes his hair and his clothes.

Woman: “…and his face is painted like Spider-Man!”

Me: “I only painted one child as Spider-Man, so there should be no doubt about it.”

Time passes, and I continue my work (there are about twenty people already looking), trying not to worry the other kids in the line. I paint everyone until the line is cleared.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see something small with a red face casually strolling around! I jump from my chair.

Me: “Hey, little buddy! Your mom is looking for you!”

Boy: *Very calm* “Do you know where my mommy is? I lost her somewhere.”

He spreads and waves his arms as if it’s just a regular day at the office.

I flag down a petting zoo volunteer.

Me: “I’ll keep him here; go get his mom.” *To the boy* “All right, your mommy will come here to get you, so stay with me, okay?”

Boy: “But my face is already painted.”

Me: “Well, do you want some paint on your hands or arms?”

Boy: “Can you make the web sprayers?”

Me: “Sure, I can!”

I paint very slowly, just to keep the boy occupied. It takes quite a while for the mother to come. She pretends to walk calmly, but I can see she has just been crying and is far from calm but also very relieved when she sees him.

Boy: “Hi, Mom! Look, I got web sprayers!”

Woman: “Oh, how lovely. But sweetie, I told you to stay with Mommy. I was very worried.”

She hugs him, getting the fresh paint on her jacket. She then picks him up and leaves. I’m a bit surprised she doesn’t say, “Thank you,” or anything like that. She even seems to ignore me as a whole. However, I am quickly informed.

Volunteer: “When I told her he was found and safe, her legs couldn’t support her anymore and she collapsed. We got her a chair and let her calm down first. We almost called an ambulance, but she calmed down on her own eventually. She said she just wanted to pick up her son and go home.”

Yeah, I can understand that.

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Death

I volunteer at an animal rescue centre. It’s been a rough year for the sanctuary, and we’ve lost a number of animals to age and medical issues. Relevant to this story are three that, at different times earlier in the year, went for routine vet examinations and were found to be suffering such advanced, spreading cancers that we had to make the decision to let them go humanely. One had been kept in appalling conditions and treatment for five years before being rescued (and had been a personal favourite of mine in his time here) and the other two were former lab animals, so while no less sad, they had their reasons.

Enter today’s group of four visitors. They’ve all been here before and are polite enough initially, and I get to talking to them about some of our resident animals. They come to ask about the three we’ve lost as we’re near their former habitats, and I relate what happened to them. Then, an older woman in the group who has been silent so far speaks up.

Visitor: “Are the animals vaccinated?”

Me: “Yes, we make sure to keep up with vaccinations.”

Visitor: “There! They probably got the cancer from the vaccines!”

In hindsight, I probably should have seen that coming. As it is, I am so blindsided by the outburst and insinuation that I can only look at her in stunned surprise.

Me: “…Wow.”

I’m not sure she even heard my reaction as she turned and flounced off before I could get the word out. One of the others gave me an apologetic look and mumbled something I couldn’t make out before the rest of the group followed her away. I simply turned and quietly went to take a break, leaving a bit more of my faith in humanity behind.

Related stories from the sanctuary:
Blind As The Bats They Came Here To See
Welcome To Idiotshire, Population: Me
Silence Is Golden

I am at the zoo in a sort of food court area. My kids are off with their dad getting food, and I am people-watching.

A man and woman with a child around two years old are just finishing up their own meal next to me.

Woman: *To the child* “Now that we’re done, we can go see your monkeys, and then we’ll see whatever animals we can as we leave.”

Girl: “No!”

Woman: “No what, my love?”

Girl: “No go!”

Woman: “I’m glad you’re having fun, but we’ve already stayed longer than we were supposed to, and it’s past nap time, so we have to leave once we see the monkeys.”

I’m sure you can imagine the way a two-year-old who hasn’t gotten her nap would respond to this. She starts crying immediately, starting with a low rumble at first but rapidly building in intensity and volume to full-on bawling.

Man: “Okay, [Girl], shoulder time.”

The man comes over and picks the little girl up. The moment that she is in his hands, she starts spinning around to face away from him while he is lifting her to make it easier for him to place her on his shoulders in a smooth clearly practiced motion. More importantly, her tears cut off entirely the moment she is on his shoulders. She is now looking around utterly content as if she wasn’t crying a literal second ago.

The man walks in a short circle around their table before stopping back right in front of the women.

Man: “Okay, Mommy, she’s ready for you.”

The woman stands and reaches up to touch her daughter’s legs to get her attention, looking the girl straight in the eye.

Woman: “[Girl], I know you’re having fun and don’t want to go home, but crying just tells us you’re too sleepy and that we should take you home for a nap now. I don’t want to do that because I want you to get to see your monkeys before we leave. Do you think you can be a big girl for us and try not to cry, even if you are tired, long enough for us to go see your monkeys?”

The girl gives a bit of a nod to this.

Man: “Great. [Girl], do you want to do a quick gallop while Mommy packs up?”

Girl: “Uh-huh!”

Man: “Okay, but do you think you can tell Mommy you’re sorry for crying first?”

Girl: “Sorry.”

Man: “That’s my favorite girl. Okay, hold on, here we go…”

The man then takes the girl off on the promised “gallop”, bouncing her high up in the air with each step he takes. In fact, he is bouncing and bucking her so much it’s as if she were on a mechanical bull; I’m honestly shocked she’s able to maintain her balance and stay in a sitting position even with her legs being held, but she manages to somehow. Most kids I’d expect to be crying all over again from the rough treatment, but this toddler is laughing and giggling in pure joy over her human rodeo.

Me: “That was great! That’s got to be the fastest I’ve seen any dad stop a kid’s crying.”

Woman: “Oh, he’s her godfather, actually, but I know what you mean. She loves riding on his shoulders; she won’t let him carry her any other way. I don’t think I’ve seen a single case yet where a shoulder ride failed to fix whatever was upsetting her. I just wish my shoulders had the same magic.”

After the woman finished packing up, the three of them headed off with the girl still content and firmly attached to her godfather’s shoulders, presumably to see some monkeys.

I am explaining traits of our bats in the bat enclosure in the zoo.

Me: “These bats, like all mammals in the Chiroptera family, are—”

A guest on the tour speaks up.

Guest: “Excuse me. You’re wrong. I would appreciate you not lying to my children.”

Me: “Wrong about what, ma’am?”

Guest: “Bats aren’t mammals! Honestly, you work in a zoo!”

Me: “Bats are absolutely mammals, ma’am. In fact—”

Guest: “Bats fly! They have wings! They’re birds!“

A few other members of the tour group chuckle, but I try to remain polite.

Me: “Some mammals can fly, ma’am. In fact—”

Guest: “Stop lying to the children!”

With that, she storms out, dragging two upset-looking children with her. I just turn to my group, who looks as dumbfounded as me.

Me: “Wait until she gets to the ocean exhibit and finds out about the dolphins.”

I am working near the African elephants and rhinos in the zoo. Their enclosures are next to each other.

Child: “Mom! What is that?”

Customer: *Pointing at a rhino.* “I think that’s some kind of elephant?”

Me: “That’s a rhino.”

Customer: “Look, [Child], it’s ‘Arhino’ the elephant!”

Me: “No, it’s just a rhino.”

Customer: “So, am I pronouncing ‘Arhino’ wrong, then? I don’t know African names.”

*This story has been provided added context by the OP.