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  • When Pinot Means No

    | Sonoma, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes, the wineries in the Valley join up for a tasting event. People can buy a ticket, get a special wine glass and get to travel to different wineries and get free tastings of specific wines.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [Winery]. May I pour you a sample?”

    Guest: “What do you have?”

    Me: “I have the 2007 Merlot and the 2010 Chardonnay.”

    Guest: “Can I have a Pinot Noir?”

    Me: “I have Merlot and Chardonnay.”

    Guest: “You don’t have a Pinot.”

    Me: “No, I do not.”

    Guest: “Do you have a Pinot?”

    Me: “Yes, we do, although, the Pinot is not being offered for this specific tasting. However, if you’d like to taste the Pinot, you are more than welcome to visit the tasting room upstairs and try it out. Unfortunately, it won’t be complementary.”

    Guest: “Oh, never mind… What do you have again?”

    Me: “I have the 2007 Merlot, and the 2010 Chardonnay.”

    Guest: “I’d like to taste the Cabernet.”

    Whine About Wine

    | MA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m working at the tasting bar for our winery. It’s been a fairly busy day. I’m serving two women around my age—early 30s.)

    Me: “Hi! Can I get you anything?”

    Customer #1: “Um…. let me think. Sorry, I’m not ready!”

    Me: “Sure, that’s f—”

    Customer #2: “Can I try the chardonnay?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (I get the wine and start to pour.)

    Customer #2: “It must be really annoying to work here. You have all these people interrupting you to say ‘Can I try this? Can I try that?’ Is it really annoying?”

    Me: “Actually, that’s not annoying at all! What’s annoying is when people say ‘I want to try this. It sounds delicious, what a great description, how do you like it?’ and I say ‘I think it’s great,’ and they try it and then say ‘this is terrible, it’s disgusting, how can you serve this? Who in their right mind would drink this?’ That’s annoying.”

    (Both of them are staring at me in disbelief.)

    Customer #1: “No… people don’t really do that.”

    Customer #2: “That’s crazy. They really say stuff like that?”

    Me: “I’m afraid so.”

    Customer #2: “Well, I think this chardonnay is really good! Thank you!”

    Me: “You’re very welcome!”

    Loss Of Hearing Vs Lack Of Respect

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (Several months ago, I suddenly lost most of my hearing in one ear. I’m a singer and this has been devastating to me. Thanks to medication, it’s almost back to normal, but I have trouble with background noise and I’m very sensitive about the subject. I’m in my early 30s, and most people think I’m several years younger. I’m giving a tour of our winery, and one visitor has been very difficult through the whole tour. I’m at the last stop on the tour and explaining how the machines in the room work. The visitor starts motioning at me, but I have no idea what these motions mean.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, did you have a question?”

    Visitor: *mumbles something I can’t hear at all*

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t quite hear you, what did you say?”

    Visitor: “Could you speak louder?! I can’t hear you at all.”

    Me: *laughing a bit* “That’s a little ironic that I couldn’t hear you asking me to speak up because you couldn’t hear me.”

    (Apparently, she doesn’t see the humor in this.)

    Visitor: “You young people! You have no respect! You have no idea how it is not to be able to hear when you’re old! You should be in my shoes and not be able to hear well.”

    Me: “Actually ma’am, I’m hard of hearing myself. I know I’m not old, but I know what it’s like to not be able to hear. At least you were fortunate enough to have good hearing for most of your life.”

    Visitor: *a little taken aback* “Well, you just don’t… you don’t know—”

    Me: “I do know. And this concludes our tour. The exit is right here.”

    (She hurries right by me to leave and doesn’t make eye contact at all. However, the other members of the group pause to thank me for the tour and the information. One girl even said she wanted to give me a drink and a hug to try to make up for that difficult visitor. I appreciated that comment more than I can say!)