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    Epicenseless

    | New Zealand | Wild & Unruly

    (I run a web business in New Zealand, and am talking a friendly customer on the phone. Suddenly, the building starts to shake. It’s not violent, but it’s very long, so I’m not sure at first how bad it’s going to get.)

    Me: “Uh… I’m sorry. There’s an earthquake.”

    Customer: “Oh! Where are you?”

    Me: “Wellington.”

    Customer: “I’m in [town further south].”

    (I don’t respond, as I’m wondering whether I should get under the desk for my own safety. I continue to hold onto the phone, when I hear the customer speak again.)

    Customer: “Oh, I feel it now! Isn’t this exciting?”

    As Blank As His Brain

    | CA, USA |

    (I am trying to help a customer retrieve a lost page on his website.)

    Customer: “So, why was my page lost in the first place?”

    Me: “Well, I’m not sure, sir. What were you doing before you lost the page?”

    Customer: “I was editing it.”

    Me: “Okay, what part did you edit?”

    Customer: “Well, I edited the heading, and I noticed the page was blank when I was scrolling down.

    Me: “So, why did you click save?”

    Customer: “Well, I thought it would just pop back up.”

    Me: “No, sir. You just saved a blank page over what you had, and erased everything.”

    Customer: “Well, you guys should put that in big bold letters at the top of the page. ‘Don’t save page if main area is blank!’.”

    Intelligence Goes Into The Trash Can

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Technology

    Customer: “I had something typed up that I was going to send you. Tell me, how do you find a file that you’ve lost on your computer? I know it’s on here somewhere, but I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Oh, well, go to the upper right hand corner–”

    Customer: “I’ve tried that! I couldn’t find the file!”

    Me: “Hmm. Do you remember what the file name was?”

    Customer: “I don’t think it had a file name!”

    Me: “Well, did you save it as ‘Untitled’, then?”

    Customer: “I don’t think I saved it…”

    Stupidity That Makes You Go Wow

    | Henderson, NV, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    Customer: “I wanted to know about SEO. What’s that?”

    Me: “SEO is Search Engine Optimization. In a nutshell, I can help you to get noticed by search engines.”

    Customer: “So, you’re SEO are you? I want to meet him.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

    Customer: “SEO is the name of a friend of mine in World of Warcraft. Are you him? Hey! How are you? I didn’t know you did web sites!”

    Sins Of The Father, Part 2

    | Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Religion, Technology

    (My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a 20 year old female, and my father is a 55 year old male.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [my father]‘s office, how may I help you”

    Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

    Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “Are you Christian?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well that must be it then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Sins Of The Father


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