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    Summing Up Bad Parenting

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Math & Science

    (I work at a small water park where it’s $5 for adults and $4 for kids. I’m working as the cashier at the ticket booth when a mom and her daughter walk up. The daughter can’t be more than seven or eight years old.)

    Me: “For the two of you it’s going to be $9.”

    Daughter: *with a HUGE smile on her face* “That’s $5 for mom and $4 for me!”

    Me: “Yes. You’re right! Good math!”

    Mom: *hands over the $9 in cash* “No, honey! It’s eight dollars! Four for me, and four for you. That’s eight, ugh!”

    (The mom storms in, mumbling something under her breath, while the girl’s smile vanishes.)

    Sea Of Electricity

    | NV, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I’m handing out inner tubes for a popular water slide. Several young men come up; one of them has a tattoo on his side that makes it look like his skin is peeling away to reveal mechanical inner workings. Shortly after they get in line, two little girls come up. They stare at the tattooed man for a few moments, and then one taps him on the leg.)

    Girl #1: “Are you sure you can go in the water?”

    Tattooed Man: “Uh… I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

    Girl #1: “But what about that?” *points to his tattoo* “My mommy says electric stuff can’t get wet.”

    Tattooed Man: *grinning* “Oh, don’t worry. I’m an underwater explorer robot. I’m built for that stuff.”

    Girl #2: “So you won’t break? Even if you get water all inside you?”

    Tattooed Man: “Nope!”

    Girls #1 & #2: *gaping at him* “Wow…”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 12

    | Rapid City, SD, USA | Money, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a water park about 20 minutes from Mt. Rushmore, so we have a lot of tourism. We have a gift shop that also allows you to rent towels and lifejackets. In order to rent, you must keep your ID with us. This is so you can remember to return items rented. A tour bus pulls up with a group from the local reservation, as well as a family from another state.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Hi, I want to rent four towels and a lifejacket for my daughter please.”

    Me: “Certainly! Let me get your daughter in this jacket, and it will $27 with $11 as the deposit. We also need to hold your ID until we get these back.”

    Tour Bus Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

    (The tour bus customer yells to his wife to give him his wallet and hands me cash and his ID. This goes on for another few groups from the bus, and finally the group from another state is left.)

    Out-of-state Customer: “My family needs three towels.”

    Me: “Sure! It will be $15 with $6 deposit, and your ID, sir.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “What?! I most certainly will not! Your sign says $3 for rentals, and you will not have my ID, because that’s how identity theft happens.”

    Me: “I could understand your concern, but I do not touch the IDs. They stay in this little safe under the counter to prevent that. I only open it to retrieve the IDs. As for the rentals, it does say $3, but there is an additional $2 deposit. I guarantee you your money back; the ID is just something to make you remember to bring our stuff back. If you truly are concerned, I could have my manager hold it, or I’ll make an exception and you could leave $20 and still get $11 back.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “I most certainly will not do either. I expect to pay $9 and no higher. And my ID stays with me.”

    Me: “I understand, really. But your ID is safe, and you have to pay a deposit or I can’t rent to you.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “I will do no such thing!”

    (At this point, the out-of-state customer is starting to get angry, and is sliding things from the counter to the floor.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Listen, sir, your ID is safe with the lady, and if you continue to disrespect her, you will be forced out off the area and banned from any lands around.”

    (The out-of-state customer turns to face the tour bus customer, who stands at 6’6″, about 275 lbs, and all muscle. Luckily, I know him, as he is my uncle’s best friend.)

    Out-of-state Customer: *stammers* “Uh, fine.”

    (The out-of-state customer throws in the cash and his ID, and takes off into the park.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Let me know if he gives you any more trouble today.”

    (Thankfully, I think the out-of-state customer was scared straight, as his daughter came back only for the ID, and told me to keep the deposit as a tip!)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    When Customers Finally See The Light(ning)

    | Manitoba, Canada | Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s pouring rain and lightning has struck a nearby tower at our water park. We’ve therefore closed for safety and have evacuated all the guests. A woman of about 40 walks up to the gate while I’m ushering my fellow employees out of the park.)

    Customer: “I’d like a ticket, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re closed right now due to inclement weather.”

    Customer: “But I came here to use the water slides!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not safe right now. Lightning could strike one of the structures at any moment.”

    Customer: “Sell me a ticket!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I cannot do that. We cannot allow you to enter the park during extreme weather.”

    (Suddenly, the woman HITS me in the face with her beach bag and runs into the park. Two of the burly male lifeguards run after her and drag her back to safety just as lightning strikes our tallest water slide structure. There are very dramatic sparks and fire. The woman screams, turns, and starts running from the park. On her way out, she picks up her beach bag, hits me in the face AGAIN, and runs to her car. She got away.)

    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 5

    | Booneville, MO, USA |

    (I’m at a nearby water park with some friends. A friend and I walk over to the deep end and start to get on the diving boards. The exchange initially takes place between my friend, a customer swimming in the deep end, and a lifeguard.)

    Customer: *to my friend on the diving board* “Excuse me, people are swimming here.”

    My Friend: “Umm… but this is the diving area.”

    Customer: “You can’t dive here while we’re swimming!”

    Lifeguard: “Ma’am, this is the diving area.”

    (The female customer huffs angrily and then swims across the pool slowly, forcing my friend and I to wait before we can dive. We still go off the diving boards several times, and then leave to get on the water slides for awhile. We come back to the diving boards later to find the same customer making a scene with the park manager.)

    Customer: “…and we would all have to get out of the water. Then this guy would do one dive and leave. We would all get back in the water and he would come back to dive again. It’s ridiculous.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, this area is for diving only. You’re not supposed to swim in here. Furthermore, I won’t allow you to talk to my lifeguards like that. Please leave the park now.”

    Customer: “I don’t have to listen to this ****. You better give me back my $4! I haven’t been here that long.”

    Manager: “If you don’t leave now, I’m going to call the police.”

    Customer: “Now you’re gonna call the police? I’ve been trying to be civil!”

    (So much for being civil—we heard later from one of the lifeguards that she ended up leaving in the back of a police car.)

    Related:
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 4
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 3
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 2
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End


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