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    The Shape Of Things To ‘C’

    | California, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (My manager & I are working one night. A very well dressed woman in her 50s walks in.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you doing tonight?”

    Customer: “I’m doing fine.”

    Me: “What are you looking for?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for something for my husband. He needs something for…”

    (She motions her right hand to make it into the shape of a ‘C’.)

    Me: “He needs vitamin C?”

    Customer: “No…something for…”

    (She emphasizes the ‘C’ shape of her right hand.)

    Me: “He needs some calcium??”

    Customer: “No…you know what I mean?”

    (She’s still making the ‘C’ with her right hand, but is now widening the shape.)

    Me: “I don’t think I know what it is.”

    (I ask for my manager who has been watching us. He immediately gets what she’s asking for.)

    Manager: *points towards the male enhancements* “Ma’am, we have a wide variety of libido enhancers, but there isn’t anything to make him ‘wider’ or ‘girthier’.”

    Customer: “Aww. Well, his libido’s fine. He just needs a little more to work with. Thank you for the help anyway!” *leaves*

    It Gives Your Hair That Fiery Look

    | Ocala, FL, USA | Health & Body

    Customer: “Do you have butane?”

    Me: “Butane?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Butane, like the gas?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s for your skin and hair.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I doubt that’s safe. Butane is a type of lighter fluid. I am almost positive it is not beneficial for your hair or skin.”

    Customer: “I use it all the time. I swallow it and it works. Butane.”

    (Puzzled, I look at the woman for a few…and then it hits me.)

    Me: “Do you mean biotin?”

    Customer: “Yes, butane!”