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    Rated ‘T’ For Tobacco

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Bizarre

    (I work in a video game store, the entirety of which is, as expected, covered in video games. We’re relatively empty one night, and a gentleman comes in and gives the whole store a visual once-over. After seemingly not finding what he’s looking for, he comes to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi, there. Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “Yeah, hi. Do you sell cigarettes here?”

    Me: *slightly taken aback* “Uh, no, sir. I’m sorry. We’re a video game store.”

    Customer: “Oh, d***. Thanks.”

    (My manager and I have a small chuckle to ourselves, and nearly forget the man, until he pokes his head back in through our front door roughly ten minutes later.)

    Customer: *barely taking a step in the store* “You don’t sell cigarettes here, do you?”

    Manager: “Uh, no, sir. Haven’t gotten any cigarettes in. Sorry.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 11

    | UK | Family & Kids, Technology

    (I get a job at a video game store not long before ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ came out, and before and after its release many parents came into the store to buy their kids the game.)

    Customer: “Hello, do you have this GTA game?”

    Me: “Grand Theft Auto V”? Sure, we have them right here. Is this for yourself?

    Customer: “No, it’s for my son.”

    Me: “Is he under the age of eighteen? I just need to tell you the content of the game.”

    Customer: “He’s 10.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s of course completely up to you whether or not he plays this game but as it’s rated 18, I’ll have to tell you that it contains extreme violence in it and sexual content.”

    Customer: “That’s fine.”

    Me: “It really is quite bad. There’s a really horrific torture scene in it, and it contains a strip club that the characters can go to, and it has prostitutes, etc.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes, that’s fine. This is the game he wanted.”

    Me: “It also contains swearing.”

    Customer: “What?! What kind of game is that?! I can’t believe he wants this! Well, he’s not getting it!”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 9
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 8

    Must Be New To The Game

    | San Diego, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am waiting in line to pay. The customer in front of me in line is an older woman.)

    Employee: “Hi, did you find everything okay?”

    Customer: “I’m actually here to return something.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry to hear that. What are you returning?”

    Customer: “This very violent video game.”

    (She places a copy of a popular first-person-shooter game on the counter.)

    Employee: “Thank you.”

    (The employee opens the case to check the disc.)

    Employee: “Ma’am, the game isn’t in here.”

    Customer: “Sure it is. You’re holding it.”

    Employee: “This is just the case. There’s no disc.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Employee: “You can’t return an empty game case.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    (I decide to step in.)

    Me: “It’s like buying a new coat and only getting the hanger.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    (The employee hands over the box, and the customer leaves.)

    Employee: “It’s going to be a long day, isn’t it?”

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10

    | France | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

    (I work in a video game store where you can give back old games to get a discount on other ones. It’s a slow day, and a somewhat older female customer comes to the counter.)

    Me: “Oh, hello, ma’am. What can we do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve found my son’s old educational games while dusting off shelves, and I’d like to buy him something new.”

    (I pass the games to a coworker, so she can check out prices and the disks’ states, while I help the customer with choosing a game.)

    Coworker: “Err, ma’am, there’s something wrong with the games.”

    Customer: “What?”

    (My coworker shows us the disks. It’s actually stuff like ‘GTA,’ ‘Call of Duty,’ ‘Saints Row’ and other 18-rated games.)

    Me: “How old is your son, ma’am?”

    Customer: “He’s 14… Why?”

    Coworker: “Well, those games are not for people under 18. Due to violence, nudi—”

    (The customer storms out, leaving the games on the counter. 15 minutes later, she comes back dragging her son by the arm and with the original boxes.)

    Customer: *to her son* “These. 18-rated games. Explain.”

    (The customer’s son explained that he asked a friend’s older brother to go and buy the games for him. His mother left us the 18-rated games and their boxes.)

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 9
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 8
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7

    Someone Toad Him Different

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a well-known game store. The year is 2008.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [Video Game Store]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you have a copy of Battletoads?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “No, we do not, sadly.”

    Customer: “That sucks.”

    (About a week later:)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hello. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Do you have a copy of Battletoads?”

    Me: “No, sir, we do not!”

    Caller: “It’s been five days. How come?!”

    Me: *in shock* “IS THIS THE SAME CUSTOMER?!”

    Caller: “Yes! I want my d*** Battletoads for my PS3, dumb-a**!”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Sir, Battletoads has been out of print for 17 years now. And I doubt it’s on the PS3.”

    Caller: “Well, YOU’RE just a d*** MORON?!” *hangs up*

    Me: *shrugs*

    (A day later, the same customer walks into the store.)

    Customer: “HEY, YOU! I WANT MY BATTLETOADS!”

    Me: “Sir, WE. DO. NOT. HAVE. BATTLETOADS!”

    Customer: “My brother told me you have it. I want it NOW!”

    Me: “You’re brother must’ve been mistaken.”

    Customer: “I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT! I’M GONNA FIND MY D*** BATTLETOADS IF I’M GONNA HAVE TO DESTROY THIS ENTIRE STORE!”

    (The customer then proceeds to go on a rampage through the entire store, knocking over multiple games and destroying several others. We had to call the police to arrest him. An hour later, his brother shows up)

    Customer’s Brother: “Hey, my brother told me you guys ripped him off.”

    Me: “Eh, you do know he was looking for a game called Battletoads, right?”

    Customer’s Brother: “Oh, god. I can’t believe he fell for that. I told him to do that just to get that moron out of my house. I’m so sorry about that.”

    Me: “It’s okay.”

    Customer’s Brother: “I’m surprised he didn’t even know about that prank anyway.”

    (Turns out that asking for ‘Battletoads’ at any video game store is a popular prank done by people to piss off the employees.)

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