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    Kids Movies Cost An Arm And A Leg

    | Estonia | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A mother and her young daughter approach the counter. She puts down Princess Mononoke and begins to get out her card.

    Me: “I’d just like to point out while this is an excellent movie, it’s probably
    something you’d be uncomfortable with your daughter watching.”

    Customer: “Why? It’s just a princess cartoon!”

    Me: “It’s actually quite violent, it deals with a lot of complex subjects, and has scenes with realistic sword fights, there’s several dismemberments in the first few minutes. But I can recommend several other movies by the same animation studio that both of you could enjoy.”

    Customer: *slightly taken aback* “Um, yes, that sounds like a good idea, I wouldn’t want her to be scared.”

    Customer’s daughter: *to me* “What’s a dismem-peppermint?”

    Customer: “Don’t answer that!”

    Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur

    | Michigan, USA | Movies & TV

    Customer: “I had a question about this one movie.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s up?”

    Customer: “How blurry is it?”

    (I am surprised for a moment, but then think maybe she is referring to movies in 3D, sometimes those look a little blurry.)

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Well, it says here that it is blurry and if its too bad I do not want to rent it.”

    Me: “Oh, let me see it.”

    Customer: “Do you have any other copies?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this copy isn’t blurry. It is in Blu-Ray, the new format designed to replace DVD movies.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright.”

    Me: “Do you have a Blu-Ray player?”

    Customer: “What is that?”

    Me: “I’ll just grab a DVD copy of the movie for you.”

    A Complete Avatard

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have any copies of that new Avatar movie?”

    Me: “Sorry it looks like it’s not available anywhere right now. I could call you when a copy comes in if you like.”

    Customer: “You didn’t check the back room. Do you have any there?”

    Me: “No, we don’t keep movies in the back. Company policy says we have to have all available copies on the shelf.”

    Customer: “So, why don’t you have any on the shelf?”

    Me: “Because we’re all checked out. There are none present at this store or any other in this area. It’s an extremely popular movie since it just came out a few days ago. We have no more copies at any nearby store.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, they all got checked out by other people.”

    Customer: “Well, why the h*** did you let them do that? What kind of video store lets people just take whatever movie they want?!”

    (D)efinitely (V)ery (D)umb

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you just rented me this movie, and it doesn’t work.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “It keeps playing the same scene over and over again.”

    Me: “The same scene keeps playing?”

    Customer: “Yeah, and it has these words written on it. ‘Play’, ‘Scene Selection’, ‘Language’ and ‘Special Features’.”

    Me: “Uh, sir, that’s the DVD menu. You just have to click ‘Play’ and the movie will start.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard of that. How do I do that?”

    Me: “Uh, just hit the arrow buttons on your remote until you get to ‘Play’, then hit ‘Enter’ and the movie will start. Or, if you have a ‘Play’ button, just hit that.”

    Customer: “OK, where is that on my remote?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what your remote looks like.”

    Customer: “Never mind, I found it. OK, I’m clicking ‘Play’. Well now it just went black! Oh, now it has something different. Can you stay on the line with me for a little to make sure that scene doesn’t start repeating again?”

    The Point Of No Return

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “You charged my credit card forty five dollars. Can I get a refund?”

    (I pull up his account.)

    Me: “Okay. I see that you rented two movies that were never returned and you were charged the sale price of the movies.”

    Customer: “Well, I was on vacation and I forgot to return them on time.”

    Me:“Let me go check the shelves for them; it’s possible that they didn’t get checked in properly. If I find them I can put a credit on your account that you can use whenever you’re in the store next.”

    Customer: “I didn’t return them.”

    (It’s been over two months since the movies were originally due.)

    Me:“You didn’t return them?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me:“Sir, you would like me to pay you for renting movies and never bringing them back?”

    Customer: “Uh huh.”

    Me: “I’m not going to do that.”

    Customer: “Okay…I just thought I’d ask.”

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