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    Pre-Cog Movie-Log

    | MI, USA |

    Me: “The computer is showing you have a late balance of $5.60.”

    Customer: “What? My movie was on time!”

    Me: “Looks like it was two days late.”

    Customer: “But I just returned it today!”

    Me: “Yes, it was a five day rental. It was due two days ago.”

    Customer: “But I rented it Thursday! It should have been due today!”

    Me: “You actually rented it last Tuesday, exactly one week ago. For the confusion, I can remove your late charge for you this time. Just be a little more careful in the future.”

    Customer: “That’s impossible! You rented me my movie on the wrong day! You rented my movie early!”

    Me: “You’re saying that I was able to predict what you wanted two days in advance, entered it in the computer, and you came in two days later to get it and pay for it?”

    Customer: “That’s exactly what I’m saying! You rented my movie early!”

    This Spells Disaster

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA |

    Customer: “Can you help me find a movie? Your system confuses me.”

    Me: “The alphabet?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Never Judge A DVD By Its Cover

    | USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

    Customer: “Hey, what movie did that other customer just turn in?”

    Me:Book of Eli. Would you like to rent it?”

    Customer: “A book? No, I don’t want no book. I hate reading!”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. Book of Eli is the title of the movie.”

    Customer: “I don’t like books.”

    Customer’s friend: “It’s not a book, it’s a movie.”

    Customer: “Well, I bet it’s based on a book, and I hate books!”

    Kids Movies Cost An Arm And A Leg

    | Estonia | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A mother and her young daughter approach the counter. She puts down Princess Mononoke and begins to get out her card.

    Me: “I’d just like to point out while this is an excellent movie, it’s probably
    something you’d be uncomfortable with your daughter watching.”

    Customer: “Why? It’s just a princess cartoon!”

    Me: “It’s actually quite violent, it deals with a lot of complex subjects, and has scenes with realistic sword fights, there’s several dismemberments in the first few minutes. But I can recommend several other movies by the same animation studio that both of you could enjoy.”

    Customer: *slightly taken aback* “Um, yes, that sounds like a good idea, I wouldn’t want her to be scared.”

    Customer’s daughter: *to me* “What’s a dismem-peppermint?”

    Customer: “Don’t answer that!”

    Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur

    | Michigan, USA | Movies & TV

    Customer: “I had a question about this one movie.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s up?”

    Customer: “How blurry is it?”

    (I am surprised for a moment, but then think maybe she is referring to movies in 3D, sometimes those look a little blurry.)

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Well, it says here that it is blurry and if its too bad I do not want to rent it.”

    Me: “Oh, let me see it.”

    Customer: “Do you have any other copies?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this copy isn’t blurry. It is in Blu-Ray, the new format designed to replace DVD movies.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright.”

    Me: “Do you have a Blu-Ray player?”

    Customer: “What is that?”

    Me: “I’ll just grab a DVD copy of the movie for you.”


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