November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

This Dollar Is Noncents

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid

(Every Monday, my video rental store has a special where you can rent any movie for $1.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me more about this dollar Monday thing?”

Me: “Of course. Every Monday, all of the DVDs in store are just $1 to hire!”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means you can come in and rent any movie you want, new or old, for just $1!”

Customer: “So, does that mean weekly movies?”

Me: *smiling* “It sure does, everything is included!”

Customer: “Well, what about 5 night hires? Are they included?”

Me: *still smiling* “Yes, sir. All of the DVDs are included in this special.”

Customer: “Okay, so what about 3 night hires?”

Me: “They are. Everything is included in this deal—new releases and weekly movie rentals.”

Customer: “Okay, good. And what about overnight hires? Are they $1 too?”

Me: “Yep. As I said before, all movies are $1 to hire.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! Why does it have to be so confusing? You people need to make it less complicated so normal people can understand!” *storms out*

Re-Cycling DVDs

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Top, Wild & Unruly

(Our store releases new DVDs every Tuesday. A customer comes in on Wednesday, visibly angry.)

Customer: “What the h*** is wrong with your movies? This doesn’t work!”

(I open the case and discover that the brand new DVD is broken in several pieces, and has a large tire tread on the back.)

Me: “Sir, what happened? The DVD is completely destroyed!”

Customer: “I ran over it with my motorcycle. Why?”

Me: “…You ran over it…”

Customer: “I wanted to see if they still made them like they used to! Back in my day you couldn’t destroy things like this! I demand a refund!”

(He continues to yell and rant until my manager shows up. I explain what the story is, with the customer agreeing with me word for word on what happened. Finally, my manager speaks.)

Manager: *to the customer* “What are you, an idiot?”

A Brokeback Fountain Of Hate

| Springfield, MO, USA | Bigotry

(We have a small section of movies for the LGBT community. These are clearly labelled, and none of them are too offensive. I am a straight woman in support of the LGBT community. A customer brings up one of the LGBT movies; it shows two women in wedding dresses kissing on the cover.)

Customer: “I demand you keep this trash behind the counter!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is a whole section dedicated to this ‘trash’ and honestly, I can’t keep just one case behind the counter. Our customers are going to need a way to see that we have it available.”

Customer: *waves DVD case in my face* “Who watches this trash anyway!? It’s sinful smut and I don’t want children seeing it!”

Me: “That is why it is up high on the shelves, in a little corner, behind a curtain that is clearly labelled for LGBT movies. Makes me wonder how you saw it ma’am, as you would have to walk to that corner and move the curtain. Honestly, I don’t even think we need the curtain. I think there should be more tolerance for gays and those of the LGBT community.”

Customer:You did this! You brought all of those movies from home, and put them in that section because you support f***! You should not be working where Christians shop!”

Me: “I’m straight, ma’am, but I do support the LGBT community. I can promise you I did not bring those movies from home. We are legally allowed to rent out those movies here. Now if you would please give me the DVD so that I can put it back where it belongs, I would be very happy.”

(She flings the DVD case at me. I duck in time for it not to hit me, but it crashes into the sign we have up to show what our new releases are.)

Customer: “GO TO H***!”

(She stomps out of the store. A few moments later, my manager calls. I tell her what just happened.)

Manager: “Oh dear, do you need some coffee?”

Me: “Only a lot.”

No IQ For IV

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Language & Words

(I work at a video store. A customer is on the far side of the store and yells out to me. He does not hold up the DVD.)

Customer: “Hey man, which Saw is this?”

Me: “Well, what does it say on the cover?”

Customer: “It doesn’t say anything!”

(I walk over to the customer and immediately recognise the problem.)

Me: “That would be Saw 4, sir. ‘IV’ means four.”

Dub And Dubber

| Manitoba, Canada | Language & Words

(An older gentleman comes in to return a movie he’s rented the night before. It’s clearly stated on the movie case that it’s a foreign action film that is subtitled in English; there is also the option to have it dubbed over in English or French.)

Customer: “I want a refund on this movie!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Did it not work?”

Customer: “No, it worked, but it wasn’t in English! I want my d*** money back!”

Me: “The subtitles or dubbing wouldn’t work?”

Customer: “I didn’t even watch it. I want my money back!”

Me: “Oh! I understand. Did you try going into the set up menu to change the language setting?”

(The customer looks at me, confused, so I show him the language options on the back of the case.)

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW! I just want a refund. It was stupid!”

Me: “So… the movie worked… and you didn’t even try to change the settings… and there’s a sign behind me that says if there’s a problem with a movie you have to let us know the same day or no exchanges/refunds… and you want me to give you your money back?”

(With that, the customer goes from being extremely agitated to looking sheepish.)

Customer: “…no.” *leaves store*