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    This Dollar Is Noncents

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (Every Monday, my video rental store has a special where you can rent any movie for $1.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me more about this dollar Monday thing?”

    Me: “Of course. Every Monday, all of the DVDs in store are just $1 to hire!”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means you can come in and rent any movie you want, new or old, for just $1!”

    Customer: “So, does that mean weekly movies?”

    Me: *smiling* “It sure does, everything is included!”

    Customer: “Well, what about 5 night hires? Are they included?”

    Me: *still smiling* “Yes, sir. All of the DVDs are included in this special.”

    Customer: “Okay, so what about 3 night hires?”

    Me: “They are. Everything is included in this deal—new releases and weekly movie rentals.”

    Customer: “Okay, good. And what about overnight hires? Are they $1 too?”

    Me: “Yep. As I said before, all movies are $1 to hire.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! Why does it have to be so confusing? You people need to make it less complicated so normal people can understand!” *storms out*

    Re-Cycling DVDs

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Our store releases new DVDs every Tuesday. A customer comes in on Wednesday, visibly angry.)

    Customer: “What the h*** is wrong with your movies? This doesn’t work!”

    (I open the case and discover that the brand new DVD is broken in several pieces, and has a large tire tread on the back.)

    Me: “Sir, what happened? The DVD is completely destroyed!”

    Customer: “I ran over it with my motorcycle. Why?”

    Me: “…You ran over it…”

    Customer: “I wanted to see if they still made them like they used to! Back in my day you couldn’t destroy things like this! I demand a refund!”

    (He continues to yell and rant until my manager shows up. I explain what the story is, with the customer agreeing with me word for word on what happened. Finally, my manager speaks.)

    Manager: *to the customer* “What are you, an idiot?”

    A Brokeback Fountain Of Hate

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Bigotry

    (We have a small section of movies for the LGBT community. These are clearly labelled, and none of them are too offensive. I am a straight woman in support of the LGBT community. A customer brings up one of the LGBT movies; it shows two women in wedding dresses kissing on the cover.)

    Customer: “I demand you keep this trash behind the counter!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there is a whole section dedicated to this ‘trash’ and honestly, I can’t keep just one case behind the counter. Our customers are going to need a way to see that we have it available.”

    Customer: *waves DVD case in my face* “Who watches this trash anyway!? It’s sinful smut and I don’t want children seeing it!”

    Me: “That is why it is up high on the shelves, in a little corner, behind a curtain that is clearly labelled for LGBT movies. Makes me wonder how you saw it ma’am, as you would have to walk to that corner and move the curtain. Honestly, I don’t even think we need the curtain. I think there should be more tolerance for gays and those of the LGBT community.”

    Customer:You did this! You brought all of those movies from home, and put them in that section because you support f***! You should not be working where Christians shop!”

    Me: “I’m straight, ma’am, but I do support the LGBT community. I can promise you I did not bring those movies from home. We are legally allowed to rent out those movies here. Now if you would please give me the DVD so that I can put it back where it belongs, I would be very happy.”

    (She flings the DVD case at me. I duck in time for it not to hit me, but it crashes into the sign we have up to show what our new releases are.)

    Customer: “GO TO H***!”

    (She stomps out of the store. A few moments later, my manager calls. I tell her what just happened.)

    Manager: “Oh dear, do you need some coffee?”

    Me: “Only a lot.”

    No IQ For IV

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Language & Words

    (I work at a video store. A customer is on the far side of the store and yells out to me. He does not hold up the DVD.)

    Customer: “Hey man, which Saw is this?”

    Me: “Well, what does it say on the cover?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t say anything!”

    (I walk over to the customer and immediately recognise the problem.)

    Me: “That would be Saw 4, sir. ‘IV’ means four.”

    Dub And Dubber

    | Manitoba, Canada | Language & Words

    (An older gentleman comes in to return a movie he’s rented the night before. It’s clearly stated on the movie case that it’s a foreign action film that is subtitled in English; there is also the option to have it dubbed over in English or French.)

    Customer: “I want a refund on this movie!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Did it not work?”

    Customer: “No, it worked, but it wasn’t in English! I want my d*** money back!”

    Me: “The subtitles or dubbing wouldn’t work?”

    Customer: “I didn’t even watch it. I want my money back!”

    Me: “Oh! I understand. Did you try going into the set up menu to change the language setting?”

    (The customer looks at me, confused, so I show him the language options on the back of the case.)

    Customer: “I DON’T KNOW! I just want a refund. It was stupid!”

    Me: “So… the movie worked… and you didn’t even try to change the settings… and there’s a sign behind me that says if there’s a problem with a movie you have to let us know the same day or no exchanges/refunds… and you want me to give you your money back?”

    (With that, the customer goes from being extremely agitated to looking sheepish.)

    Customer: “…no.” *leaves store*


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