Featured Story:
  • Gave Them A Rude Awakening
    (1,775 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Calling Her Bluff

    | Maryville, MO, USA |

    Customer: “Yeah, this movie didn’t play right. It keeps skipping. I want a different one.”

    Me: “Okay, if you want to go grab another copy off the shelves I’ll get this checked in.”

    (I scan the movie and it is three days late.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this movie is three days late.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So…I’ll have to charge you full price to rent another movie, and you’ll need to pay the late fee.”

    Customer: “THE MOVIE DIDN’T WORK. I SHOULD GET ANOTHER ONE FREE!”

    Me: “Well, it was a three day rental, and you could have brought it in anytime in those three days and we would have been happy to exchange it free of charge. However since it’s late, I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “THIS IS F**KING BULLS**T! LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “I am the manager, ma’am.”

    Customer: “F**KING RIDICULOUS! THE MOVIE DIDN’T PLAY!””

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you had a full three days to bring it back.”

    Customer: “I WAS F**KING BUSY!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am that’s not my fault.”

    Customer: “GIVE ME YOUR BOSS’ NUMBER! I’M GOING TO REPORT YOUR A**!! K***** [my boss] IS AN OLD FRIEND AND YOU’RE GOING TO GET FIRED!”

    (I give her the number and she storms out, muttering. I call my boss.)

    Me: “Just so you know, you might be getting a call from your friend, C** M** trying to get me fired.”

    My Boss: “Who the hell is C** M**?”

    Paging Miss Cleo

    | Northern Virginia, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have that movie with that guy?”

    Me: “Which guy?”

    Customer: “Don’t you know what I’m talking about?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t, but if you could tell me which actor was in the movie perhaps I could think of it for you.”

    Customer: “You know, that one that was in that movie.”

    Related:
    Complaining Incognito
    If Dr. Phil Has Hair, I’m A Friggin’ Sasquatch
    Speaking Stupidese
    Why Don’t We Stamp It On Your Forehead
    Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism
    You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

    Gullible’s Travels

    | Northern Virginia, USA |

    (A customer walks into the video rental store toward the end of a long, tiring night.)

    Customer: “Do you have any movies?”

    Me, joking: “Nope, just sold the last one.”

    Customer: “Alright…”

    (The customer proceeds to walk out of the store.)

    I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    (A woman calls in, telling me that she rented Good Luck Chuck for her young son’s sleepover without watching the movie first. She showed the movie to a party of young boys, and then had to call their parents to apologize.)

    Woman: “I need to know how I can prevent this from happening in the future.”

    Me: “Well, if you bring the movie up to the counter, chances are that somebody has seen the movie, and if they haven’t we can point you in the direction of a movie that would be appropriate.”

    Woman: “This movie says ‘unrated.’ It should be okay!”

    Me: “Actually, ‘unrated’ means that things have been put into the movie that couldn’t be shown in theaters.”

    Woman: “What? I’ve seen CARTOONS that are unrated.”

    (I assume she’s talking about ‘not rated,’ but decide that telling her that there’s a difference will just make her angrier.)

    Me: “Well, if you flip over and read the back of the movie, under the rating it will tell you what it is rated that for–”

    Woman, sounding angry: “Yeah, I know, I read it. It says, ‘Nudity, Strong Sexual Content, Drug Use, and Adult Language.’ EVERY movie has that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. All I can suggest is that if you’re not sure, you can bring the movie up to the counter and we can help you. Would you like me to put a free movie on your account?”

    Woman: “I don’t think you should even carry this movie on your shelves, it’s disgusting.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we only get what Corporate sends us.”

    Woman: “Who can I complain to?”

    Me: “All I can do is put a free movie on your account for the inconvenience. Our company gets the movies with the ratings from the production companies–”

    Woman: “How can I call the production companies?”

    Me: “Um, I guess you could search for them on Google?”

    Woman: “Good, I am going to call the production company right now and complain.”

    Me, trying desperately not to laugh: “Okay, I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, have a nice night.”

    (She hung up the phone and I immediately burst out laughing–apparently a label saying, “UNRATED – CHUCKED UP EDITION,” in giant letters, as well as all of the warnings on the back and just the plot of the movie are not enough warning. Does she want us to put up a sign saying, “DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE FOR YOUR SON’S SLEEPOVER?”)

    It’s A Small (100% English Speaking) World

    | Charleston, SC, USA |

    Customer: “This movie is in German. I want a different one.”

    (It was “The Lives of Others,” which won Best Foreign Film at the Oscars–which was stated on the box in big letters.)

    Me: “I can’t give you another movie, because it was subtitled. Plus, it says it on the box in two places.”

    Customer: “But I don’t speak German.”

    Me: “Neither do I.”

    Customer: “Why do they make movies in German in America?”

    Me: “Because it was made by German people.”

    Related:
    Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism
    Those Silly Ethnics And Their Funny Words
    …And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

    Page 17/18First...1415161718