Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (2,013 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Endlessly Loopy

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Man on phone: “Hi, I don’t think this DVD is working properly.”

    Me: “What happened, exactly?”

    Man on phone: “We put it in and it plays, but the movie is only a couple minutes long and then it starts over again.”

    Me: “Are there any words on the screen?”

    Man on phone: “Yes. The title of the movie and some other things.”

    Me: “Is there a word that says Play or Play Movie?”

    Man on phone: “Yes.”

    Me: “Just hit the play button on you remote control or DVD player.”

    Man on phone: “Wow! Thanks! It’s doing something else now. I just thought it was a short movie.”

    Pride Goeth Before A Rental

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    (I have a reputation of knowing good movies. Some customers got into the habit of just coming in and asking me what they should watch…especially when they wanted to seem intellectual. One customer was an a** one day so I gave him a Russian movie that was slow, boring and pretentious. He returned the movie about a week later.)

    Me: “How’d you like it?”

    Customer: “Man, you dropped the ball on this one. It sucked. Took me three nights to get through it. I kept falling asleep. I hate to have to pay this much money for it.”

    Me: “Wow, I’m surprised. I don’t recommend it to a lot of people because I don’t think they’ll catch the subtle subtext in the imagery.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah…the meat of the story is really in the shot composition, the use of color and the things that remain unsaid. It gets past a lot of people but I thought you would have caught that and enjoyed the message.”

    Customer: “You know, don’t check that in yet. I’ll take it back and watch it again.”

    Calling Her Bluff

    | Maryville, MO, USA |

    Customer: “Yeah, this movie didn’t play right. It keeps skipping. I want a different one.”

    Me: “Okay, if you want to go grab another copy off the shelves I’ll get this checked in.”

    (I scan the movie and it is three days late.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this movie is three days late.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So…I’ll have to charge you full price to rent another movie, and you’ll need to pay the late fee.”

    Customer: “THE MOVIE DIDN’T WORK. I SHOULD GET ANOTHER ONE FREE!”

    Me: “Well, it was a three day rental, and you could have brought it in anytime in those three days and we would have been happy to exchange it free of charge. However since it’s late, I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “THIS IS F**KING BULLS**T! LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “I am the manager, ma’am.”

    Customer: “F**KING RIDICULOUS! THE MOVIE DIDN’T PLAY!”"

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you had a full three days to bring it back.”

    Customer: “I WAS F**KING BUSY!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am that’s not my fault.”

    Customer: “GIVE ME YOUR BOSS’ NUMBER! I’M GOING TO REPORT YOUR A**!! K***** [my boss] IS AN OLD FRIEND AND YOU’RE GOING TO GET FIRED!”

    (I give her the number and she storms out, muttering. I call my boss.)

    Me: “Just so you know, you might be getting a call from your friend, C** M** trying to get me fired.”

    My Boss: “Who the hell is C** M**?”

    Paging Miss Cleo

    | Northern Virginia, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have that movie with that guy?”

    Me: “Which guy?”

    Customer: “Don’t you know what I’m talking about?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t, but if you could tell me which actor was in the movie perhaps I could think of it for you.”

    Customer: “You know, that one that was in that movie.”

    Related:
    Complaining Incognito
    If Dr. Phil Has Hair, I’m A Friggin’ Sasquatch
    Speaking Stupidese
    Why Don’t We Stamp It On Your Forehead
    Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism
    You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

    Gullible’s Travels

    | Northern Virginia, USA |

    (A customer walks into the video rental store toward the end of a long, tiring night.)

    Customer: “Do you have any movies?”

    Me, joking: “Nope, just sold the last one.”

    Customer: “Alright…”

    (The customer proceeds to walk out of the store.)


    Page 16/18First...1415161718