(I get a job in a video store. It is run by a married couple. The husband seems okay, but is very much dominated by his wife, who has a very bullying way about her. Fortunately I work an evening shift, so she isn’t often around. One by one, my coworkers resign abruptly, to be replaced by new people; the turnover is staggering. I run into one such coworker in a cafe shortly after she quits.)

Me: “I was sorry to hear you’d quit; what happened?”

Ex-Coworker: “[Boss], she’s such a horrible b****! She told me to wash all the shelves, so I did, then she made me do them again, then a third time, even though they were spotless. She wouldn’t let me sit down at all, even when there were no customers. She dragged me out of the break room when I’d only had three minutes; the kettle hadn’t even boiled! And she’s so aggressive; always right up in my face, and yelling. I kept thinking she was going to hit me!”

Me: “That’s terrible! She shouldn’t be allowed to get away with treating people like that!”

Ex-Coworker: “Especially after the court case!”

Me: “What court case?”

Ex-Coworker: “One of the other guys told me that she was once taken to court because she assaulted an employee. Actually punched the employee in the face!”

(Obviously, I’m shocked, and glad to be working a shift that she rarely attends. However, a couple of nights later my luck runs out; there she is.)

Boss: “There you are! I don’t pay you good f****** money to just stroll in here whenever you feel like it! Get to work!”

Me: “My shift starts at 6:00 pm. It’s 5:45. I’m early.”

Boss: “Smart little b****, aren’t you? Don’t you f****** talk back to me. Go and clean the shelves!”

(I head to the back room to collect a bucket, cleaning soap, and sponge.)

Boss: “Where the f*** do you think you’re going? I told you to clean the shelves! Don’t ignore me when I tell you what to do!”

(I’m vividly recalling my ex-colleague’s tale of woe. I’m determined not to let her bully me.)

Me: “I’m going to get some cleaning stuff! What do you want me to do, lick the shelves clean?”

(Then, [Boss] gets right up in my face, but I don’t back down. I’ve decided at this point that this job’s not worth it.)

Boss: “How dare you speak to me like that, you f****** b****? Who do you think you are, trying to give me trouble, when I’ve given you a job? You ungrateful little cow! In 12 years of running this store, I have NEVER had a problem with any of my employees!”

(This is too much. I burst into laughter.)

Me: “Seriously? You don’t think punching an employee in the face, then being arrested and taken to court is a problem? Yeah, that’s right; I heard all about it. I can also tell you’re about two seconds away from punching me in the face or firing me, so I’ll save you the trouble: I quit!”

(I storm away from her and grab my bag. She’s puce with rage, her fists are snapping open and closed, and all the veins in her neck are standing out, but I’m now out of reach.)

Boss: “You have to give notice! You have to give written notice! You can’t just walk out!”

Me: “Gladly!”

(I write “F**K OFF” on a Post-it, stick it to the computer monitor, and flounce past her. As I do, I notice a customer standing off to the side; in all the drama, I hadn’t spotted her before.)

Customer: “Good on you, lass! I heard how she was picking on you, and I’ve seen her bully her other staff like that as well. Well, madam, I’m here to return this video, and I’ll be renting from another store in the future!”

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(I used to work for a relatively popular video rental chain prior to it going out of business. I am pulling up my own account to see if I am about to have an overdue rental of my own. A customer in her late-40s or early-50s has been browsing the rentals.)

Customer: *approaches my coworker with a sealed new movie* “Hi, I’d like to buy this.”

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, no problem. Just to let you know, we do have extremely high-quality used versions of this exact movie, and for what you’re paying for it new, you could get three used movies.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t buy used movies.”

Coworker: “That’s understandable. Sometimes the quality of the DVD isn’t what you’d hoped, scratches, yadda ya.”

Customer: “Oh, no, not that. I just don’t want my DVD player to get a virus.”

(At this point, I stop what I’m doing, because I cannot possibly have heard that. I turn my head just a bit to look at her. Customer has the most serious expression I’ve ever seen, and my coworker is currently trying to see if she’s being legitimate.)

Coworker: “DVD… viruses?”

Customer: “Yes, like computer viruses. You don’t know what sort of nastiness people let get into their DVD player, and I don’t want mine getting corrupted by anything!”

(At this point, I have to turn away from the register I’m on, because I’m about to start chuckling, and I would prefer not to be rude. I busy myself with the rental drop box while my coworker continues the struggle.)

Coworker: “…absolutely, ma’am. Those DVD viruses can be an absolute hassle, and you’re doing well to keep yourself protected.”

(He finishes ringing her up as I finally get myself in check.)

Coworker: “You have a wonderful day, ma’am.”

Customer: “You too, young man!”

(She leaves. We just look at each other.)

Me: “If I hadn’t been here, I’d never believe this.”

(I work at a convenience store that also has a movie rental system. Customers can rent with our store card, and it files their names, address, phone number, and driver’s license. We can look people up when they don’t have their cards, but it’s MUCH faster to simply scan the card.)

Customer: *walks up to the counter and puts down two movies to rent*

Me: “Hello! Do you have a [Store] card with you today?”

Customer: *really confused* “You need my card?”

Me: “Yes, it pulls up your account so I can rent out your movies.”

Customer: *still incredibly confused* “Why? Can’t you see who I am?”

Me: “…”

(This was not a celebrity or even a regular customer, just some guy. It took all I had not to ask if he could tell my account number, full name, address, phone number and driver’s license just by looking at me.)

(I am in a video rental store in November 2013. I see an argument between the customer and a cashier.)

Cashier: “Hello! Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for ‘Doctor Who’. From 1962.”

Cashier: “Sure we have plenty of copies of those.”

(Cashier goes to the shelf and grabs a box for series one of the famous British TV series.)

Customer: “That’s not the one I want. I want the REAL one.”

Cashier: “What are you talking about when you mean, ‘REAL’?”

Customer: “The one from 1962.”

Cashier: “Still don’t know what you mean.”

Customer: “THE MOVIE! DON’T YOU KNOW THE MOVIE WHEN YOU HEAR THE TITLE?!”

Cashier: “What movie?”

Customer: “YOU KNOW, THE FIRST JAMES BOND MOVIE! HOW THE F*** DO YOU NOT KNOW THE TITLE OF THE FIRST JAMES BOND MOVIE?!”

Cashier: “I think the movie you’re referring to is called Dr. No. ”

Customer: “NO, I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT Dr. No! Doctor WHO FROM 1962!”

Cashier: “I think you should double check the James Bond filmography.”

Customer: “I DON’T NEED TO LOOK IT UP! I KNOW IT BY HEART!”

Cashier: “I don’t think you know the difference.”

Customer: “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE F*** YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS F****** STORE ARE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!! NONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT THE JAMES BOND FRANCHISE IS! AND YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE!”

Cashier: “I must ask you to leave.”

Customer: “WHY?!”

Cashier: “Because you are being intolerant right now.”

Customer: “FINE! I’M DONE WITH YOU IDIOTS ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT JAMES BOND IS!”

(A Doctor Who fan sees him walking out.)

Doctor Who Fan: *jokingly* “Who’s this BOND guy?”

(I worked in a movie rental store. We give out membership cards to bring up their account but we also take ID to look up the account. You can have any number of additional people verified to rent movies from your account but they must have their own ID to show that they are who they say they are. Two girls walk up to my register.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay, and will this be all?”

Customer #1: “Yes. Just these two.”

Me: “All right, do you have your membership card?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, it’s under [Actual Member’s Name] and we’re both on the account.”

(I proceed to look it up, confirm that this is the account, and see that there are about four names on the account that are allowed to rent.)

Me: “All right, I just need to see either of your ID’s so I can confirm one of these is you.”

Customer #2: “We don’t have ID’s but we always rent without them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you rent these if you don’t have an ID or membership card.”

Customer #1: “Well, can we get our own membership card?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you need an ID to get a membership card.”

Customer #2: “They ALWAYS let us rent without ID. Why aren’t you just letting us?”

Me: “If they are, they aren’t doing their job correctly. If I knew you personally, or if any of our associates knew you personally, I could call them up here to confirm your identity.”

(Both customers don’t say anything; they just stomp out. I get a phone call about 30 minutes later.)

Me: “[Opening Lines], how may I direct your call?”

Customer #3: “DID YOU TELL MY DAUGHTERS THAT THEY COULDN’T USE MY ACCOUNT?!”

Me: “Yes, I did. They didn’t have any ID on them and they didn’t have a membership card. If you send them with the membership card, I can rent to them, no problem, ma’am.”

Customer #3: “They’re six-f******-teen years old! Of course they don’t have ID’s, you dumb b****!”

Me: “Like I said, ma’am, they don’t need ID’s if they have the membership card. If you lost yours, you yourself can come in and request new ones. They come with two key-chain cards and one normal card, so you can give the key-chains to whomever you wish.”

Customer #3: “I’ve never had ANY employee tell my daughters they needed ID or one of your d*** cards. If they can tell you my name, let them rent on my account! It’s my account so I can choose how it’s run!”

Me: “I can’t allow that, ma’am.”

Customer #3: “What the f*** do you mean you can’t?! I just told you to!”

Me: “If I did that, ma’am, anyone who came in, and I mean anyone, whether you know them or not, could come in, say your name, rent 10 new movies, and return them late, causing enormous late fees on your account. He could also never return the movies. If that happens, you, and ONLY you will be responsible for paying for the movies in full. If you would like your account to be usable by ANYONE knowing your name, I can talk to my manager and see what we can do for you.”

Customer #3: “THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY F****** SENSE BUT FINE! My daughters are going back to get those movies and then we are cancelling my account!”

Me: *before she hangs up, in the cheeriest voice I can manage* “Be sure they have the membership card with them.”

Customer #3: “You’re a f******* b****!”

(The girls did come back and scowled at me the entire time I processed their transaction. They then asked to cancel the account. I explained they would need to return any and all movies they had out and, also, I would need to see the member and her ID card to do so. If looks could kill, I would be dead.)