Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,613 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Sucks In The City

    | Henniker, NH, USA |

    (This is late at night at the video rental store, and I’m a teenage girl working by myself. A man walks in and stands there grinning.)

    Me: “Um, hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Sucks to be you!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: *pulls his arm in front of his face like Dracula* “I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!”

    Me: “Uh…are you looking for Dracula videos…?”

    (At this point, we hear a car pull up.)

    Customer: “AHH! WITNESSES! DRACULA, AWAY!” *runs out*

    Because Aramaic Is Sooo Last Millenium

    | Nashville, TN, USA |

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I rented this movie, and ya’ll gave me the wrong one. This one has subtitles, and I wanted it in English.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. But Passion of The Christ is supposed to be in subtitles. It’s the way Mel Gibson made it.”

    Customer: “Ya gotta be kiddin’ me! Why would he do somethin’ stupid like that?”

    Me: “Well, I’m guess he just wanted to be true to its roots.”

    Customer: “The idiot. Everyone knows the Bible is in English!”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “So, can you fix it or what?”

    Me: “Fix it? What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Call up that Gibson feller and tell him to send you guys the English version!”

    Over The Gray, Bland Rainbow

    | Maryland, USA |

    Customer: “Something is wrong with this movie – the box said it was in color, but it’s black and white.”

    Me: “Haven’t you ever seen The Wizard of Oz before?”

    Customer: “No, but it says ‘color’ on the box.”

    Me: “The beginning is in black and white – it will turn to color.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid.”

    Wet Fools Rush In Where Girlfriends Fear To Tread

    | Rochester, NY, USA |

    Me: “Hello, .”

    Caller: “Excuse me, I just got a call today saying that I hadn’t returned a DVD.”

    Me: “Alright, what DVD is it?”

    Caller: *tells me the DVD’s name*

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’m looking it up in the computer and it says we don’t have it.”

    Caller: “Yes, it was returned. I gave it to my boyfriend to return and I watched him put it in your drop box!”

    Me: “Well, it’s not in the drop box right now, and the boxes were cleaned out. I’m not sure what’s–”

    (The caller cuts me off to start swearing at me. As she yells at me over the phone, a man walks in through the front door, sopping wet.)

    Man: “Uh, hey… my girlfriend gave this to me to return yesterday and I forgot about it until just now.”

    (I go back to the phone.)

    Me, to caller: “Ma’am, there’s someone here I think you should speak to…”

    Parents, The Gateway Drug

    | Pennsylvania, USA |

    (A man and woman with a 10-year old kid came up to my counter to rent Grand Theft Auto 4.)

    Me: “You know, this game is rated and M and generally not considered a good choice for young children.”

    Parent: “Yeah, so?”

    Me: “Just saying… some parents don’t know I just wanted to make sure.”

    Parent: “Pfft… like I care about that. You’re going to be a boring parent!”


    Page 10/18First...89101112...Last