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    Nothing As Dangerous As A Woman Porned

    | Inland Empire, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer has just finished checking out two adult movies.)

    Coworker: “Have a good evening, sir!”

    Customer: *whirls back after taking a few steps* “Oh crap!”

    (He rushes back to the counter before the next customer can come up.)

    Coworker: “Did you forget something, sir?”

    Customer: *trying to speak quietly* “I shouldn’t have used my card! Can you reverse it? I have cash! I can pay with cash!”

    (I notice the situation. I come over to help.)

    Me: “Sir, if it’s a problem I’d be happy to refund the charge back to your card.”

    Customer: “My wife is going to see it online! She’s going to kill me!”

    (He seems to be starting to panic.)

    Customer: “Yeah, you have to reverse it!”

    Me: “I see. Well, unfortunately, even if I do that the charge and the refund will both still appear on your bank statement, but–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “No good! I have to get to the bank right now! I have to stop them!”

    (He rushes out the door. He forgets the movies and has to run back in for them.)

    Me: “Sir, it’s alright, the–”

    Customer: “I have to stop the bank!”

    (He almost trips up running out again. He didn’t give me time to explain that his bank statement will only show our store name; not the titles he rented.)

    From Bat To Worse

    | KY, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Do you have that new Dracula movie?”

    Me:Bram Stoker’s Dracula? We sure do.”

    Customer: “I love all of that guy’s movies.”

    Me: “A Coppola fan?”

    Customer: “No, Bram Stoker. I love everything he’s been in.”

    Houston Had It Easy

    | KY, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “What do you have in that’s good?”

    Me: “Well, we just got Apollo 13 in. It’s the true story of the Apollo mission.”

    (The customer looks perplexed.)

    Me: “You know. ‘Houston, we have a problem.’

    Customer: “Does it have any aliens in it?”

    Taking A Gamble

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Recommend the movie I am thinking of!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “You heard me. Are you deaf? Recommend the movie that I am thinking of!”

    (I reach over and put my hand on her head.)


    Don’t Knock It Until You’ve Pried It

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    (We are closed and counting money from the register, when a customer approaches the locked door and tries to open it. She notices the closed sign and tries the door again, then knocks on the door loudly and pulls hard on the door. So hard in fact, that she manages to fit her shoe through the crack. Worried about a broken door, I open the door quickly.)

    Customer: “Are you open?”

    Me: “No, we are closed.”

    Customer: “Then why did you open the door?!”

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