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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    In Desperate Need Of Some Context

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I’m stocking and straightening movies on the bottom shelf of a display, so I am crouched down. A man and woman walk past me holding hands, obviously not noticing me.)

    Woman: “No! You can not have sex with your sister!”

    Seeing The Funny Side Of The Complaint

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I am the assistant manager at a video rental store in a very small town. Most of the people who work here are friends outside the job. The store manager calls me and another girl into his office because there has been a complaint from a customer. He has to work really hard keeping a straight face while he tells us:)

    Manager: “A lady has complained that you were smiling too much while you worked. I made her repeat herself twice because I couldn’t figure out what her complaint was. She got mad and said ‘your employees enjoy their jobs too much; work shouldn’t be fun!'”

    (Since it was such a small town, it wasn’t very hard to figure out who the sour puss was and we made sure to put on our super serious faces whenever she came in. I’m not sure how effective it was since we’d always dissolve into fits of giggles whenever she wasn’t looking.)

    Getting All Theatrical About It

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I work at a movie rental place and this is a conversation that I had with a customer and her son the other day. A customer comes walking up to the register. He is about 13.)

    Customer: “I am looking for a movie to rent.”

    Me: “Okay. What is the title and I will look it up?”

    Customer:Oculus.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that movie will be in theaters Friday.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (He walks away. Few minutes later he comes back and asks for another movie.)

    Me: “What movie are you looking for?”

    Customer:The Purge: Anarchy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that movie hasn’t even come out in theaters yet.”

    (The customer walks away. A few minutes later I am helping someone else and the same customer walks back up and starts talking to another associate. I overhear him ask for another movie.)

    Customer: “I am looking for The Quiet Ones.”

    Other Associate: “Okay, let me look that up for you.”

    (I mention to the associate and the customer that that movie has not come out yet in theaters. The customer walks away. A few minutes later the boy comes back up with his mom.)

    Mother: “I want to talk to a manager.”

    Me: “That’s me. How can I help you?”

    Mother: “I have sent my son up here three times looking for movies and every time he tells me that you do not have it and that they are coming out in theaters.”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, but those movies have not come out yet and because they have not come out we do not have a release date for the DVDs. I do apologize for that. Is there another movie that you are looking for that I can help you find?”

    Mother: “NO. I WANT THOSE MOVIES AND I DEMAND THAT YOU GET ME THE DVD COPIES OF THOSE!”

    (At this point I am taken aback that she is yelling at me to get her the DVD copies of movies that have not even been released in the theaters.)

    Me: “I am sorry but there is no way for me to do that.”

    Mother: “Well, how can you offer to rent out the newest movies if you do not have them? I see the commercials on the TV so that must mean that you have them. I bet they are in your back room and you just don’t want to walk back there and get them.”

    Me: “I am sorry, but we do not have them. There is nothing that I can do for you. You can go see the movies in the theaters or if you want the DVD copies then they usually release them a few months after it has left the theaters. That is all that I can suggest.”

    Mother: “You are no help. Your customer service skills suck, and I hope you are happy because my son really wanted to see these movies and now you are letting him down. I hope you feel like s***!”

    (She demands the number to our corporate office and my name.)

    Me: “Here is the number and my name. I again apologize that you are unhappy with our store but there is nothing that I can do.”

    (She headed towards the exit, complaining how we don’t help customers and don’t have movies.)

    Doesn’t Provide THAT Kind Of Customer Service

    | NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (I have just started working at a small-town video store. I’m female, 20 years old, and look much younger. We have an ‘adult’ room in the back. Most customers who buy or rent the porn are middle-aged or elderly men, and are not remotely creepy. Most, in fact, were awkward around me at first because I looked like a teenage kid. They chat about the weather, they get their porn, and get out. One shift when I am working alone, one customer wanders into the store, heads straight to back room, and comes up to my till five minutes later with an armful of adult DVDs.)

    Customer: “Just these, please.”

    Me: “No problem, sir, give me a second to check the discs. That’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “Thanks.” *pays* “Hey, I’m from out of town, just in for two days. Do you have the number to the escort service?”

    Me: “Um, no. We actually don’t have one. This is a pretty small city.”

    Customer: “What!? No escort service? Well, what about a gentlemen’s club? With dancers?”

    Me: “No, sorry, there’s actually no strip clubs, either.” *laughs nervously* “We don’t have much to do here…”

    Customer: *frowns* “Well, do you know anyone who works on the side? Someone a lonely out-of-town visitor can call and spend a few hours with?”

    Me: *wanting to die at this point* “I… are you asking me if I know any prostitutes, sir? I can assure you that I don’t.”

    Customer: “I’m not a cop or anything.”

    Me: “And I’m not exactly a pimp, sir.”

    Customer: “Why did I even come here!? This is the worst business trip I’ve ever been sent on! What do people do for fun around here anyway?!”

    (The customer stormed out. It probably took another hour for the color to come back to my face, and for the feeling of ‘ew,’ to wear off.)

    Missed The Magic Of The Magic Kingdom

    | Fayetteville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Religion

    (A customer comes up to the till and hands me a bunch of DVDs. We have to up-sell, for obvious reasons.)

    Me: “I see you are getting a bunch of Disney movies. Did you know the newest Harry Potter just came out? We do have some copies on the shelf.”

    Customer: “I’m not even going to touch that anti-Christ movie! Any movie that delves into magic is Satan’s movies!”

    (I look down at the movies being rented and finish the transaction with no more chit-chatting.)

    Me: “Enjoy The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast! Have a nice day!”

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