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    Abandon All Mope Ye Who Enter Here

    | Victoria, Australia | Awesome Customers, Love/Romance, Top

    (I’m a 21-year-old girl at work and feeling a bit sad, having broken up with my long-term boyfriend earlier in the week. One of our regular customers, who is 24, is standing around talking to me and my female coworker. Another regular customer, a lovely elderly German man who we call ‘Dante’ because of his favourite game, comes in shortly afterwards.)

    Me: *to Dante* “Hello! How’s Dante’s Inferno going?”

    Dante: “Oh, it’s just great! I love it. But I’ve been playing some other games lately…”

    (He goes on to tell us what he’s been up to. The young customer joins the conversation, too. Once Dante has finished telling us what games he’s playing, he turns to the young customer.)

    Dante: “So, why do you hang around here, young man? I hope you’re not troubling these lovely girls.”

    Young Customer: “Nah, I just hang around and talk, really.”

    Dante: “Ahh, I see. You like one of these girls, huh? I know you do!”

    Young Customer: *laughs and turns red* “How do you know that?”

    Dante: “Well, if you come in every day just to chat, you must not have a girlfriend.” *turns to me* “Darling, are you single?”

    Me: “Umm, yeah. I am.”

    Dante: “You two should get together! You’re nice and he’s nice…” *turns back to the young customer* “…and you’d get free games!”

    Young Customer: “Oh, I dunno. She probably wouldn’t give me free games.”

    Dante: “Yes, she would! You’d be her boyfriend. She’d have to!” *turns to me and steps closer, talking softly in my ear* “Just think about it, yes? He’s a good boy. He’d be lucky to have a girl like you!”

    Me: *grinning ear-to-ear* “Thanks, I’ll think about it!”

    (Two months later, I realised how much of a ‘good boy’ the young customer really was, and it turned out that he’d had a crush on me for a while. We’ve been seeing each other for 8 months now, and a few weeks ago I ran into Dante at a local coffee shop. When I told him he’d been right about us, he was over the moon!)

    Much A-Poo About Nothing

    | London, UK | Language & Words

    (Our games are priced with the stickers in the top right hand corner. If there is a special offer sticker, this goes directly below the normal price sticker. A customer approaches me holding an old PS2 game which has the aforementioned stickers.)

    Customer: “How can you sell this filth?”

    Me: “What game is that you’re upset about, sir?”

    Customer: “POO PARADE! Sick filth!”

    (I take the game from him and remove the two price stickers.)

    Me: “There you go sir, now you can see the whole title. This game is called Pool Paradise. It’s simply a snooker and pool simulation game.”

    Customer: *leaves quickly*

    The Strong Arm Of The Law

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Our store buys used video games to resell. It’s not uncommon for people to try to sell stolen merchandise, so we have a “bad trader” list. Two teens walk in, and one of them is on our list. I recognize them immediately.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I want to trade some games in.”

    (Customer #1 hands me a stack of games, but it’s just discs…no cases.)

    Me: “Are you over 18 with a valid picture ID?”

    Customer #1: “No, but he is.”

    Customer #2: *hands me his ID*

    (I quickly look through the games. I take Customer #2′s ID and verify he is on our bad trader list.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take these.”

    Customer #1: “Man, why not?!”

    Me: “We just don’t need these in stock right now.”

    Customer #1: *getting aggressive* “I trade in here all time! You gotta take my games. There ain’t nothin wrong with ‘em!”

    Me: *stalling* “We can’t take them. I can check the computer and tell you what they’re worth, but I can’t take them.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, yeah…check ‘em.”

    (While I’m checking the games, a really big, burly guy walks in.)

    Burly Guy: *to me* “Ma’am, don’t give them any money for those games! I saw them steal those games from [retailer] across the street and take them out out of their packaging before coming in here.”

    (At this point, Customer #1 starts edging towards the door. The burly guy reaches out and grabs him by his collar with one hand.)

    Burly Guy: *whips out his police badge* “If you take one more step, I WILL taze you!”

    (The two thieves were arrested right then and there!)

    Weekly Roundup: So Long, Sexism

    , , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Roundups

    So Long, Sexism: This week, we feature five stories of employees dealing with (and often overcoming) sexist remarks from customers!

    1. The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back:
      A sexist fast food customer faces women in power–everywhere!
    2. The Land Of Milk And Money:
      Don’t have a cow, man–ladies understand farming, too.
    3. Cross-Platform Chromosomes:
      Games may be platform-specific, but video gamers are gender neutral!
    4. Now Accepting Immigrants From Femmerica:
      News flash from Bigotland: half of America ain’t American.
    5. The Spice Girls Have A Lot To Answer For:
      Yes, “Ladies go first”–except when they’re cutting in line!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Don’t Egg On The Eggman

    | Kentucky, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (I am a regular customer at a locally-owned game store. It’s a really nice store, with an in-house arcade and snack bar. We also have weekly gaming and card game tournaments, one of which is going on during the time of this story. I’m browsing a bit, when I overhear this conversation between an employee, who is also my friend, and a customer.)

    Employee: “Hi, welcome to [store]. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my money back!”

    Employee: “I’ll be happy to help you with a return. What item are—”

    (The customer slams a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006—a notoriously bad game—onto the counter.)

    Customer: “How dare you sell me this piece of s***?!”

    Employee: “Sir, please don’t swear at me. Now, would you like cash or store credit?”

    Customer: “Give me f***ing cash! This s***hole of a store doesn’t deserve a quality gamer like me to shop here!”

    Employee: “Okay, I can give you $5 for this.”

    Customer: “FIVE DOLLARS? FIVE F***ING DOLLARS? THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!”

    Employee: “Sir, please calm down.”

    Customer: “I PAID FULL PRICE FOR THIS GAME!”

    Employee: “Sir, the price sticker is still on here. You paid $10, which is nowhere near the full price.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE TRYING TO F***ING RIP ME OFF!”

    (The employee motions towards the kids playing a popular trading card game nearby.)

    Employee: “Sir, there are children in this store. If you can’t calm down and properly behave, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    (Suddenly, the customer flings the game to the side. He then goes on a rampage throughout the store, flings merchandise off of the shelves and flips over one of the claw machines in the arcade in his rage. The employee called security and the customer was dragged out, still thrashing and swearing!)

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