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    The Strong Arm Of The Law

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Our store buys used video games to resell. It’s not uncommon for people to try to sell stolen merchandise, so we have a “bad trader” list. Two teens walk in, and one of them is on our list. I recognize them immediately.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I want to trade some games in.”

    (Customer #1 hands me a stack of games, but it’s just discs…no cases.)

    Me: “Are you over 18 with a valid picture ID?”

    Customer #1: “No, but he is.”

    Customer #2: *hands me his ID*

    (I quickly look through the games. I take Customer #2′s ID and verify he is on our bad trader list.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take these.”

    Customer #1: “Man, why not?!”

    Me: “We just don’t need these in stock right now.”

    Customer #1: *getting aggressive* “I trade in here all time! You gotta take my games. There ain’t nothin wrong with ‘em!”

    Me: *stalling* “We can’t take them. I can check the computer and tell you what they’re worth, but I can’t take them.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, yeah…check ‘em.”

    (While I’m checking the games, a really big, burly guy walks in.)

    Burly Guy: *to me* “Ma’am, don’t give them any money for those games! I saw them steal those games from [retailer] across the street and take them out out of their packaging before coming in here.”

    (At this point, Customer #1 starts edging towards the door. The burly guy reaches out and grabs him by his collar with one hand.)

    Burly Guy: *whips out his police badge* “If you take one more step, I WILL taze you!”

    (The two thieves were arrested right then and there!)

    Weekly Roundup: So Long, Sexism

    , , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Roundups

    So Long, Sexism: This week, we feature five stories of employees dealing with (and often overcoming) sexist remarks from customers!

    1. The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back:
      A sexist fast food customer faces women in power–everywhere!
    2. The Land Of Milk And Money:
      Don’t have a cow, man–ladies understand farming, too.
    3. Cross-Platform Chromosomes:
      Games may be platform-specific, but video gamers are gender neutral!
    4. Now Accepting Immigrants From Femmerica:
      News flash from Bigotland: half of America ain’t American.
    5. The Spice Girls Have A Lot To Answer For:
      Yes, “Ladies go first”–except when they’re cutting in line!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Don’t Egg On The Eggman

    | Kentucky, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (I am a regular customer at a locally-owned game store. It’s a really nice store, with an in-house arcade and snack bar. We also have weekly gaming and card game tournaments, one of which is going on during the time of this story. I’m browsing a bit, when I overhear this conversation between an employee, who is also my friend, and a customer.)

    Employee: “Hi, welcome to [store]. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my money back!”

    Employee: “I’ll be happy to help you with a return. What item are—”

    (The customer slams a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006—a notoriously bad game—onto the counter.)

    Customer: “How dare you sell me this piece of s***?!”

    Employee: “Sir, please don’t swear at me. Now, would you like cash or store credit?”

    Customer: “Give me f***ing cash! This s***hole of a store doesn’t deserve a quality gamer like me to shop here!”

    Employee: “Okay, I can give you $5 for this.”

    Customer: “FIVE DOLLARS? FIVE F***ING DOLLARS? THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS!”

    Employee: “Sir, please calm down.”

    Customer: “I PAID FULL PRICE FOR THIS GAME!”

    Employee: “Sir, the price sticker is still on here. You paid $10, which is nowhere near the full price.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE TRYING TO F***ING RIP ME OFF!”

    (The employee motions towards the kids playing a popular trading card game nearby.)

    Employee: “Sir, there are children in this store. If you can’t calm down and properly behave, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    (Suddenly, the customer flings the game to the side. He then goes on a rampage throughout the store, flings merchandise off of the shelves and flips over one of the claw machines in the arcade in his rage. The employee called security and the customer was dragged out, still thrashing and swearing!)

    May Top Story Roundup: Skyrim, Smoothies, Soap, Shadows, And Slips!

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    May Top Story Roundup: From running thieves to running children, May’s top stories were filled with customers with nothing mentally running upstairs!

    1. Dovahkiin’s Day Off:
      A video game thief gets taken down, Dragonborn-style, by an unexpected hero.
    2. The Golden Rude:
      A delicious tale of a rude coffee customer getting what he deserves!
    3. Self Disservice:
      “Employees Must Wash Hands” and “Entitled Customers” don’t mix!
    4. Dumb Without Shadow Of A Doubt:
      A sandwich shop customer gets stupid over a shadow.
    5. Traveling At The Speed Of Stupid:
      An irresponsible parent slips up big time with her bratty offspring!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    The Boss-tomer Is Always Right

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Technology, Top

    (I am overhearing a heated argument between a very rude customer and my manager.)

    Customer: “This game isn’t working like it’s supposed to. I demand a full refund!”

    Manager: “Once again, sir, the packaging’s already been opened. I’m afraid there’s not much I can do. If you had read the packaging before opening it, you would have known that this game would not be compatible with your system.”

    Customer: “That’s a lie! You are lying to me! This game is d*** well compatible. This one is just defective!”

    (I walk over to where my manager and the customer is. Much to my horror, I am met with a very unpleasant surprise: the customer is actually my boss at my second job.)

    Customer: “Hey! [my name]! Help me out here! This guy clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

    Me: “Well, [boss], why don’t you explain to me your side of the story, since I just joined in?”

    Customer: “I tried to run this game on my girlfriend’s laptop and it won’t work. Now this guy over here is trying to tell me that it isn’t supposed to work!”

    Me: “Um, well, he’s right. That game isn’t compatible with computers. This is an Xbox 360 game.”

    Customer: “Aww, for Christ’s sake, not you too! My girlfriend’s laptop runs Windows. Windows is Microsoft. Xbox is also Microsoft.”

    Me: “No, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. If it did, that would defeat the purpose of having two separate products.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that bulls***! I want my money back now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you really should’ve asked an employee before you bought that game, or at least read the back of the box. We can’t take back opened products.”

    Customer: “You really gonna talk to me like that? Well, fine! You better start working here full-time now, because as of now, your a** is fired from MY shop!”

    (My now ex-boss takes his game and angrily leaves the store. What does he do for a living? He’s the owner of a retail shop and his return policy is much more strict than ours.)


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