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  • Babysitting Him Earns You A Halo

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am ringing up a regular, who has brought her younger brother with her. This particular customer has spent a very large amount of money on both games and systems, and has a very large reserve list. Everything she buys is paid for with money that she earned herself.)

    Me: “Would you like to reserve anything coming up?”

    Regular: “Hmm… anything you could recommend?”

    Me:Call of Duty, Hitman, maybe Halo 4?”

    Regular’s Brother: “Eww, don’t get Halo!”

    Regular: “I’ll go ahead and reserve Halo.”

    Regular’s Brother:Halo is dumb!”

    Me: “You want to put $5 down on Halo 4?”

    Regular: “Yes, please!”

    Regular’s Brother: “Why the h*** are you getting Halo?”

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Regular’s Brother: “Don’t get Halo!”

    Regular: *ignoring her brother* “Yup, that’s it!”

    Me: “Your total is [total].”

    Regular’s Brother: “I told you don’t get Halo! God, you are so freaking dumb! You’re just getting Halo 4 to play with your stupid boyfriend!”

    (The regular hands me the money and then looks to her brother.)

    Regular: “It’s my money! And don’t you even sass me! I’ll lock the Xbox in my room again!” *to me* “I’m sorry about the kid. I don’t know what his deal is!”

    Me: “It’s no problem. You have a great day!”

    Regular: “You have a good day, too!” *to her brother* “I’ll make sure dad knows that you were being a jerk today! You will be so grounded!”

    (She grabs her brother by the arm and drags him out of the store, telling him off for his behavior all the way.)

    Playing Games With Your Feelings

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I have only been working at the store for a few weeks. I also happen to be a slightly anxious person. Phone calls tend to stress me out, as I can’t really interpret tones of voice. A customer calls, and I answer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Yeah, hi, are you releasing [popular upcoming game] early?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, we’re having a midnight release of that game, yes.”

    Caller: “No, no. I mean, you know how you guys get new games before the release date? Can you give it to me before the release date if I give you extra money?”

    Me: “Uh, no, sir, I can’t do something like that. That would be illegal.”

    Caller: “I don’t like your tone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Caller: “There’s no reason for you to talk to me like a dumb f***.”

    Me: “I’m, I’m really sorry if I’ve offended yo—”

    Caller: “Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, yes, sir. Let me get my coworker.”

    (I pass the phone to my coworker, who, though she is the senior employee, is younger than me, and generally very sweet and charming. I have never really seen her angry. She speaks to the customer for a few minutes, and then she puts the phone down.)

    Me: “Is everything okay?”

    Coworker: “What a jerk! He demanded to speak to the manager, and when I told him that the manager wasn’t in today, he said to tell you that you were a dumb c*** and a stupid b****!”

    Me: “Oh. Am I going to be in trouble?”

    Coworker: *smiles brightly* “Oh, honey, no! You did great! My only regret is that he hung up before I could tell him to f*** off!”

    Not Wii-motely Possible

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s New Year’s Day at a popular gaming retail store. A disgruntled customer who appears to be a little caffeinated and twitchy walks up to the cashier, who also happens to be the assistant manager. He slams a Nintendo Wiimote in poor condition on the counter. Not only has it clearly been used, but it’s crusty and looks very unsanitary.)

    Customer: “Listen, I know you guys can’t give cash refunds without the receipt, but you’re going to have to do it. I’m the customer, so I’m right.”

    (The assistant manager remains silent and looks at the Wiimote, obviously hesitant to touch it.)

    Customer: “I used to work for [name of game shop] 10 years ago, so I know how things work! Give me my cash!”

    (My assistant manager looks to the cashier knowingly.)

    Customer: “If you want, I can call the manager and he’ll tell you to do it! Give me my cash now!”

    Assistant Manager: “You’re more than welcome to call the manager, but if you worked for [name of store] 10 years ago, then you should know things may have changed. The manager you used to know probably doesn’t even work for this chain anymore.”

    Customer: “Give me my f***ing cash!”

    Assistant Manager: “You just crossed the line by cussing, sir. There are children present. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m the f***ing customer!”

    Assistant Manager: “Get out!”

    Customer: “F*** you! You guys are f***ing retards!”

    (The customer storms out of the store after grabbing his Wiimote.)

    Me: “Well, that’s one way to start of the New Year!”

    Assistant Manager: “Coming in here and cussing is not a good way to get what you want. I hadn’t even said ‘no’ yet. Although even if I could give him a cash refund for a ‘used’ controller, it was so crusty and disgusting that it looked like he dropped it in the toilet and then used it!”

    Forever Unatoned

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Being close to a bad part of town, we’d often get unruly kids with nothing better to do than to hang out in our store. It is usually the same group of kids, and they always happen to break something during every visit. After breaking a football game display (by cleverly playing football with it), we issue a permanent ban. The following takes place within a year. The next day…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Why won’t you let us in?”

    Manager: “You keep breaking our stuff.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “F*** you! I’ll break what I want!”

    Manager: “And that’s why we banned you. Leave. Now.”

    (A week later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Let us in! We’ll be good!”

    Manager: “Not happening.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Fine, this place sucks! We’ll go to the other store, then you’ll be happy!”

    Manager: “Will you buy something from there?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “No.”

    Manager: “Then I don’t care where you go.”

    (A month later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey man, it’s been a month. We’ve learned our lesson. Let us in or we’ll tell our parents!”

    Manager: “We have enough video surveillance saved of you guys to press charges. You really want to let your parents know about this?”

    (They leave silently. A few months later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey, I’m not sure if you heard, but the manager unbanned us!”

    Me: *calling their bluff* “He’s in the back, let me check.”

    (He actually had the day off. The gang runs away. Finally, a year goes by, and we haven’t seen or heard from the kids at all. When they show up, my manager is about to kick them out, when I interject.)

    Me: “Listen, I think these kids got the message that we’re serious. They haven’t bothered asking to be let in for a whole year, and here they are, politely asking to be let back in. Let’s give them a second chance!”

    Manager: “Fine, but they’re your responsibility.”

    Me: *to the kids* “Alright guys, it’s been a whole year, and I’d like to think you learned your lesson. I convinced the manager to let you in, but do anything bad again, and it’s back to being banned. Deal?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Deal.” *he then drops his pants and flashes a group of adults*

    Me: “BANNED FOREVER, AGAIN!”

    Gotta Catch Them All Ages

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Geeks Rule

    (I am at a game store to get a case for my new DSi I got for Christmas a few days ago. I see the case I want, but I’m too short to get it.)

    Employee: *reaches up and gets it for me* “Here you go, little lady.”

    Customer: “That for your kid, girl? You should be ashamed, having one at your age!”

    Employee: “Dude, she’s in here all the time, it’s for her. Now, [my name] need anything else?”

    Me: “I think I’ll look at the used games.”

    Customer: “Just a poor, single mother. Should be ashamed.”

    Cashier: “Sir, please stop harassing her.”

    Me: “Are the pre-orders for the new Pokèmon game out yet?”

    Employee: “Nope, not until—”

    Customer: “She must be a mother! What teenager plays Pokèmon?”

    Cashier: “Well, I’m thirty two and I play.”

    Employee: “Twenty-eight. Love Heart Gold and Soul Silver.”

    Me: “Twenty. I also play Epic Mickey. With my father. Who is right outside.”

    (I gesture out the window. My dad isn’t very strong, but he looks it, and is rather tall.)

    Customer: *leaves, embarassed*

    Cashier: “So, how did you like [game I bought in the summer] when you were abroad?”

    Me: “Epic. Thanks, guys.”

    Cashier: “You’re a regular, [my name]. Oh, hey, [employee] did you show her the new controller?”

    (It ended up being a good trip!)

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