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    Acting Like Wario

    | New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Hi do you guys have any Mario games?”

    Me: “Yes of course, what system would that be for?”

    Customer: “…What?”

    Me: “What game system would you like that Mario game for, sir? We have them for the Wii, DS, and 3DS at the moment. We also might have a few used Gamecube ones.”

    Customer: “Look, my son just wants a d*** Mario game. Can’t you just give me one?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. There are literally dozens of different Mario titles for a bunch of different systems.”

    (The customer looks up at the consoles behind me.)

    Customer: “I think he has that… uh… Playstation there.”

    Me: “Well, in that case, I can’t sell you any Mario game because they don’t ma—”

    Customer: “God d*** it! I just want to buy my son a f***ing Mario game! Why is that so d*** hard?!”

    Me: “They don’t make them for Playstation.”

    Customer: “Don’t you know that the customer is always right you little s***?! I drive all this way to buy my son a Mario game, and you don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

    Me: “Unless we know what system he has, I can’t help you sir. It could be for the Wii, DS, 3DS, or the Gamecube.”

    Customer: “Oh, so now you’re refusing me service?! I’d like to speak to your supervisor you little punk!”

    (My manager has had enough at this point.)

    Manager: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m not going anywhere! I know my rights!”

    Manager: “Okay then, I’m going to call security. I recommend you leave before they arrive.”

    Customer: “I thought nerds were supposed to be smart!” *leaves*

    Babysitting Him Earns You A Halo

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am ringing up a regular, who has brought her younger brother with her. This particular customer has spent a very large amount of money on both games and systems, and has a very large reserve list. Everything she buys is paid for with money that she earned herself.)

    Me: “Would you like to reserve anything coming up?”

    Regular: “Hmm… anything you could recommend?”

    Me:Call of Duty, Hitman, maybe Halo 4?”

    Regular’s Brother: “Eww, don’t get Halo!”

    Regular: “I’ll go ahead and reserve Halo.”

    Regular’s Brother:Halo is dumb!”

    Me: “You want to put $5 down on Halo 4?”

    Regular: “Yes, please!”

    Regular’s Brother: “Why the h*** are you getting Halo?”

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Regular’s Brother: “Don’t get Halo!”

    Regular: *ignoring her brother* “Yup, that’s it!”

    Me: “Your total is [total].”

    Regular’s Brother: “I told you don’t get Halo! God, you are so freaking dumb! You’re just getting Halo 4 to play with your stupid boyfriend!”

    (The regular hands me the money and then looks to her brother.)

    Regular: “It’s my money! And don’t you even sass me! I’ll lock the Xbox in my room again!” *to me* “I’m sorry about the kid. I don’t know what his deal is!”

    Me: “It’s no problem. You have a great day!”

    Regular: “You have a good day, too!” *to her brother* “I’ll make sure dad knows that you were being a jerk today! You will be so grounded!”

    (She grabs her brother by the arm and drags him out of the store, telling him off for his behavior all the way.)

    Playing Games With Your Feelings

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I have only been working at the store for a few weeks. I also happen to be a slightly anxious person. Phone calls tend to stress me out, as I can’t really interpret tones of voice. A customer calls, and I answer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Yeah, hi, are you releasing [popular upcoming game] early?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, we’re having a midnight release of that game, yes.”

    Caller: “No, no. I mean, you know how you guys get new games before the release date? Can you give it to me before the release date if I give you extra money?”

    Me: “Uh, no, sir, I can’t do something like that. That would be illegal.”

    Caller: “I don’t like your tone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Caller: “There’s no reason for you to talk to me like a dumb f***.”

    Me: “I’m, I’m really sorry if I’ve offended yo—”

    Caller: “Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, yes, sir. Let me get my coworker.”

    (I pass the phone to my coworker, who, though she is the senior employee, is younger than me, and generally very sweet and charming. I have never really seen her angry. She speaks to the customer for a few minutes, and then she puts the phone down.)

    Me: “Is everything okay?”

    Coworker: “What a jerk! He demanded to speak to the manager, and when I told him that the manager wasn’t in today, he said to tell you that you were a dumb c*** and a stupid b****!”

    Me: “Oh. Am I going to be in trouble?”

    Coworker: *smiles brightly* “Oh, honey, no! You did great! My only regret is that he hung up before I could tell him to f*** off!”

    Not Wii-motely Possible

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s New Year’s Day at a popular gaming retail store. A disgruntled customer who appears to be a little caffeinated and twitchy walks up to the cashier, who also happens to be the assistant manager. He slams a Nintendo Wiimote in poor condition on the counter. Not only has it clearly been used, but it’s crusty and looks very unsanitary.)

    Customer: “Listen, I know you guys can’t give cash refunds without the receipt, but you’re going to have to do it. I’m the customer, so I’m right.”

    (The assistant manager remains silent and looks at the Wiimote, obviously hesitant to touch it.)

    Customer: “I used to work for [name of game shop] 10 years ago, so I know how things work! Give me my cash!”

    (My assistant manager looks to the cashier knowingly.)

    Customer: “If you want, I can call the manager and he’ll tell you to do it! Give me my cash now!”

    Assistant Manager: “You’re more than welcome to call the manager, but if you worked for [name of store] 10 years ago, then you should know things may have changed. The manager you used to know probably doesn’t even work for this chain anymore.”

    Customer: “Give me my f***ing cash!”

    Assistant Manager: “You just crossed the line by cussing, sir. There are children present. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m the f***ing customer!”

    Assistant Manager: “Get out!”

    Customer: “F*** you! You guys are f***ing retards!”

    (The customer storms out of the store after grabbing his Wiimote.)

    Me: “Well, that’s one way to start of the New Year!”

    Assistant Manager: “Coming in here and cussing is not a good way to get what you want. I hadn’t even said ‘no’ yet. Although even if I could give him a cash refund for a ‘used’ controller, it was so crusty and disgusting that it looked like he dropped it in the toilet and then used it!”

    Forever Unatoned

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Being close to a bad part of town, we’d often get unruly kids with nothing better to do than to hang out in our store. It is usually the same group of kids, and they always happen to break something during every visit. After breaking a football game display (by cleverly playing football with it), we issue a permanent ban. The following takes place within a year. The next day…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Why won’t you let us in?”

    Manager: “You keep breaking our stuff.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “F*** you! I’ll break what I want!”

    Manager: “And that’s why we banned you. Leave. Now.”

    (A week later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Let us in! We’ll be good!”

    Manager: “Not happening.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Fine, this place sucks! We’ll go to the other store, then you’ll be happy!”

    Manager: “Will you buy something from there?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “No.”

    Manager: “Then I don’t care where you go.”

    (A month later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey man, it’s been a month. We’ve learned our lesson. Let us in or we’ll tell our parents!”

    Manager: “We have enough video surveillance saved of you guys to press charges. You really want to let your parents know about this?”

    (They leave silently. A few months later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey, I’m not sure if you heard, but the manager unbanned us!”

    Me: *calling their bluff* “He’s in the back, let me check.”

    (He actually had the day off. The gang runs away. Finally, a year goes by, and we haven’t seen or heard from the kids at all. When they show up, my manager is about to kick them out, when I interject.)

    Me: “Listen, I think these kids got the message that we’re serious. They haven’t bothered asking to be let in for a whole year, and here they are, politely asking to be let back in. Let’s give them a second chance!”

    Manager: “Fine, but they’re your responsibility.”

    Me: *to the kids* “Alright guys, it’s been a whole year, and I’d like to think you learned your lesson. I convinced the manager to let you in, but do anything bad again, and it’s back to being banned. Deal?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Deal.” *he then drops his pants and flashes a group of adults*

    Me: “BANNED FOREVER, AGAIN!”

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