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  • Mass Defect

    | Copenhagen, Denmark | Bigotry, Technology

    (I’m a female employee in a video game store. The latest edition to the ‘Mass Effect’ series has just come out, which I happen to be a great fan of. A customer approaches my coworker.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to get this game for my son. I heard it is the new one?”

    (The customer holds out a copy of ‘Mass Effect 2′ for PC, which is not the newest one.)

    Coworker: “Yeah, I think so, I am not sure. Let me ask my coworker.” *refers to me* “Is that the right one?”

    Me: “No, that’s the previous one. Please follow me, and I’ll show you where they are.”

    Customer: *snorts* “That’s alright missy; I’ll take your coworkers word for it. Why don’t you go back to your Pokémon?”

    Me: “I promise you, sir, that’s not the game your son wants. If I can just—”

    Customer: *to my coworker* “Can you ring this up for me, please?”

    (My coworker seems a bit unsure at this point, but decides to ring it up for him anyway. The customer walks away happily with his purchase, and I make nothing more out of it. A few hours later, the customer comes storming back in, literally SLAMMING the game on the desk.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is wrong with you people? Have you NO knowledge whatsoever about what you’re selling?! You got me the wrong game! My son already has this! Talk about a f****** rip off!”

    (I quickly snatch a copy of ‘Mass Effect 3,’ and join them at the desk.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I believe this is the game you were looking for.”

    (The customer stares at the game case, clearly getting more angry.)

    Customer: “Well, why the h*** couldn’t you have showed it to me earlier?!”

    Me: “Because you wouldn’t allow me to. You told me to go back to my Pokémon.”

    (At this point, the customer blushes greatly, but before he can say anything else my coworker intervenes.)

    Coworker: “Let’s just make a return on that game and ring you up the right one.”

    (The customer agrees, and is acting much calmer during the transaction. I’ve gotten quite used to prejudices at this store because of my gender, but at this point I was just happy his son could finally enjoy the right game!)

    Playstation Four-Ever

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (It is late 2012, and rumors are flying about exactly what the new Playstation and Xbox would be like. A customer walks up to the counter. He looks about 20-25, with his cap on backwards and his pants low with a singlet.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today mate?”

    Customer: “I’d like to pre-order the new Playstation.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; they haven’t actually announced it yet.”

    Customer: “So? I just want to make sure I get one. How much do I need to put down?”

    Me: “I’m really sorry mate, but I can’t take your money. We can’t do any pre-orders until the console is at least announced by the company.”

    Customer: “Really? Well do you know when it will be released?”

    Me: “Nope, but all the rumors are saying not until the end of next year.”

    Customer: “That’s bull-s***! I don’t want to wait that long! They should just hurry up.”

    Me: “Yeah, there’s a lot of people looking forward to it. Was there anything else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “Well since I can’t get the Playstation, can I put a pre-order down for the new Xbox?”

    Me: “Sorry again mate, but that hasn’t been announce yet either. But I’d say it will probably be released around the same time as the Playstation.”

    Customer: “F*** off! This is bull-s***! Why can’t the f****** company just release the new consoles when I want them?! Stupid a**-holes! They should be doing what I want; I’m the paying customer! They’ll never have my money again!”

    (The customer wanders around the store swearing and muttering to himself before he walks out the front and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “DON’T BOTHER GOING IN THERE! THERE’S NOTHING NEW, AND THERE NEVER WILL BE! THE WHOLE PLACE IS A LIE!”

    Blank And Blind Judgement

    | QLD, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Technology

    (It’s Saturday, our busiest day of the week. A customer comes up to me with her two children to ask for something.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for an… ‘SDS card’ for my DS?”

    Me: “Oh, you mean a blank SD card?”

    Customer: “For storing things on?”

    Me: “Yep, that’s the one.”

    (I find all the SD cards we have in stock and put them out on the counter for her.)

    Me: “So we have 16GB on sale for [price], and 8GB on sale for [price]. It’s probably better to go for the 16GB as it’s only $10 more and holds twice as much—”

    Customer: “No, that’s not the one. I was looking for the blank game cards that you can put games on illegally.”

    Me: “Um… I’m afraid we don’t sell those, because they’re illegal.”

    Customer: “But my friend said she bought one at a shop in [town where we are]!”

    Me: “Unfortunately a retail outlet wouldn’t be able to sell someone that product because unlike blank CDs or tapes, they don’t have a legal use, so she must have got it from the markets or a garage sale.”

    Customer: “She’s not that type of person!”

    Me: “I’m not judging anyone, I’m just saying it’s illegal. If I sold you one, we would get into trouble, and you could be charged with copyright infringement and piracy.”

    Customer: “I’M NOT THAT SORT OF PERSON!”

    Me: “…sorry?”

    Customer: “YOU’RE JUDGING ME!”

    (She runs out of the store with her two embarrassed kids in tow.)

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4

    | Overland Park, KS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

    (I am a customer browsing at a local game store, I witness an exchange between a mother and her young son, who appears to be about eight years old. The son is trying to get his mother to buy him a copy of ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’.)

    Son: “Mom, can we get this?”

    Mother: “I’m not getting you that game.”

    Son: “Pleeeaase?”

    Mother: “No, it’s too graphic.”

    Son: “It’s only 30 bucks!”

    Mother: “Is there violence?”

    Employee & I: “Yep.”

    Mother: “Is there shooting?”

    Employee & I: “Yep.”

    Mother: “Is there blood?”

    Employee & I: “Yep.”

    Mother: “Then I’m not getting it for you.”

    Son: “But I want it!”

    Mother: “No, because you’re going to go to Uncle and tell him about how I got you Call of Duty: Black Ops, and then I’m going to be in trouble.”

    Son: “I can just have Uncle turn the sound off the TV so I won’t hear any bad words.”

    Mother: “What does that have to do with anything? Honey, it’s not the bad words I’m worried about, it’s the violence and shooting and blood!”

    Son: “I swear I won’t tell Uncle!”

    Mother: “No, I’m not getting you that game!”

    Son: *sees ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’* “Can we get this?”

    Mother: “That doesn’t look like the one we have at the house. Sure, I’ll get that for you…”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    He Will Utter It Here

    | Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I am female, and work in a video game and movie resale store. I’ve been a fan of fantasy and sci-fi my whole life. I’m busy at the computer making a sign for a display, when a customer comes into the store.)

    Me: “Hello! Let me know if I can help you find anything, or if you have any questions.”

    (The customer just looks at the floor. He goes over to look at movies, when suddenly he holds up a box and a ring on a necklace.)

    Customer: “They match.”

    (I looked up. He’s holding ‘The One Ring’ on a gold chain, and holding the box art to ‘Lord of the Rings’.)

    Customer: “The writing, it matches. I just wanted to make sure it matched.”

    (We frequently get cosplayers in the store, and I enjoy talking about whatever fandom people are into. I was about to ask where he got his replica, when he starts turning the ring around in his fingers.)

    Customer: “The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here. In the common tongue it reads “One Ring to Rule Them All. One Ring to Find Them. One Ring to Bring Them All and In The Darkness Bind Them”.”

    (I raise an eyebrow and keep smiling. He begins to walk towards the counter, caressing the ring and begins Galadriel’s soliloquy from the opening of The Fellowship of the Ring.)

    Customer: “The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Rings…”

    (My co-worker comes out from the back-room mid-soliloquy, and sees the look of somewhat bemused consternation on my face.)

    Coworker: “Um [name], have you seen the new plush we just got in?”

    Me: “No! I haven’t! They’re adorable!”

    Coworker: “I KNOW RIGHT!?”

    (The customer looks disappointed, but patiently waits out our exchange. As soon as my coworker goes back to the back stock, HE STARTS OVER FROM THE BEGINNING.)

    Customer: “It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords…”

    Coworker: “Um, [name], when you get a chance can you come back here; I have a question about this item.”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll be there in just a minute.”

    (I glance at the customer, and back at my coworker.)

    Customer: “It’s all right. It’s just… The writing, it matches. I just wanted to make sure it matched.”

    (At that, he puts the DVD back and quietly leaves the store. I’m still not entirely sure what happened. He hasn’t ever come back, but if he does, hopefully he knows ‘gi nathlam h”‘—Sindarin (or Elvish) for ‘you are welcome here’.)

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