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  • Bull In A China Shop

    , | Dubai, UAE | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Back story: our local government has banned Grand Theft Auto 4, but this was never publicly announced. I put up a sign that said in big letters “GTA IV IS BANNED AND IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR SALE”.)

    Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I wanna buy Grand Theft Auto 4.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game is unavailable as it is banned in Dubai.”

    Customer: “So… how much?”

    Me: “It’s banned. You can’t buy it in the country.”

    Customer: “Ahh, wait, I see the sign. Sorry, I didn’t notice it before…”

    (He spends several minutes studying the sign intently.)

    Customer: “Can you reserve a copy for me or what?”

    Me: “Sir, you cannot buy it. If I even had a copy and sold it to you, it would be illegal… do you understand?”

    Customer: “So, I can’t buy it?”

    Me: “That’s correct.”

    Customer: “Well, I think you’re keeping it for yourself!”

    Another Customer: “Hey why don’t you just leave? The guy said you can’t buy one and the huge sign explains why you can’t.”

    Customer: “Look f**ker! I just want the game so give it to me before I seriously hurt you!”

    Me: “Just piss off, alright? I don’t have it and I wouldn’t sell it to a prick like you anyway. Now get out of my shop!”

    (The other customers in line applaud and cheer.)

    Customer: “Well gee, sorry… you don’t have to be so rude!” *walks out*

    (My blood pressure is just returning to normal when the original customer suddenly runs in COMPLETELY NAKED. Before we can react he grabs a Guitar Hero 3 guitar that is on display and proceeds to HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH IT. My customers in line jump him and we eventually subdue him. We call the police and he was never seen again. I lost 1000 dollars worth (about 3000 dirhams, our local currency) in broken merchandise.)

    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

    , | United Kingdom | Top

    (Note: I didn’t even work at this place. I was just looking at the games with my dad but I figured I’d help this lady out.)

    Customer: “Hi, my son wants a Star Wars game. How much will that be?”

    Me: “Well, there are lots of Star Wars games, because some are older than others. The older ones are more likely to be cheaper… sometimes the console changes the price as well.”

    Customer: “Console?”

    Me: “The thing you play it on.”

    Customer: “Oh he’s got a Gamestation.”

    Me: “Do you mean a Playstation or a Gamecube?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, it’s black.”

    Me: “Is it cube shaped?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Right so, it’s a Playstation 2. Did your son say which type of Star Wars game he wanted, or even the name?”

    Customer: “No he just said Star Wars. A shooting one, I think.”

    Me:Most of them are shooting games…”

    Customer: “Well, this is the one with the laser guns in it and the laser swords.”

    Me: *cringing* “Laser guns and laser swords are what Star Wars is famous for.”

    (My dad, who is behind me, starts laughing.)

    Customer: “I’m not some Star Wars computer genius you know! This is only the 21st century. I don’t even know why you work here if you don’t know what I should buy!”

    Me: “I don’t actually work here.”

    Customer: “Well, why are you wearing the employee t-shirt?!”

    (She points towards my Children of Bodom t-shirt.)

    Me: “Good point, go and speak to my boss if you are unhappy about me working here.”

    Customer: “I will, and you might get fired, so watch-out!”

    And Just Think, You’ll Meet Them In Multiplayer

    , | Long Island, New York, NY, USA |

    (So, GTA4 came out recently… it never occurred to me how many people didn’t know roman-bloody-numerals.)

    Customer: “I’d like to pre-order Grand Theft Auto Five.”

    Me: “Four.”

    Customer: “Four? No. I wanted Five. Four is old.”

    Me: “Four is the one coming out in a week or so.”

    Customer: “No it isn’t! It’s GTA Five you…” *mumbles*

    Me: “Sir. That’s GTAIV. IV is Four. V is Five.”

    Customer: “Well if you’re going to lie to me, I’m going to another store!” (…and he did.)

    (Another occasion…)

    Customer: “What is that… Grand Theft Auto Eye Vee…”

    Me: “Four.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Grand Theft Auto Four.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “It’s like the Rocky Movies.”

    Customer: “OH. Oh. I see now. Heh. Four.”

    (And finally, the big day: GTA IV was due to be released at midnight. I lost all hope for humanity when a customer came in and paid off the game, then asked…)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what’s midnight?”

    When In Doubt, Kick ‘Em Out

    , | Inglewood, CA, USA |

    (A customer comes in to a video game store, obviously angry.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’m here to return these two games.”

    (Hands me the two games and the receipt.)

    Customer: “For this game, I want my money back; for this DS game, I want a different game. It’s the same price so I don’t have to pay the difference.”"

    Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

    (I scan the receipt and fill out the return information.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your total will be $19.56.”

    Customer: “What?!?!?! Why is it going to be so much if it’s the same price as the other DS game?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you got this game for free.”

    Customer: “If I would’ve paid for it, it would have been the same price so I don’t owe nothing!”

    Me: “You didn’t pay anything for this game, so you won’t get anything back.”

    Customer: “But if I would’ve paid for it, it would’ve been the same price. Let me speak to your manager.”

    (I call my manager.)

    Manager: “Well ma’am, as my employee was saying, you didn’t pay anything for this game. Therefore, you will not get your money back for something you didn’t pay for.”

    Customer: “But if I would’ve paid for it–”

    Manager: “You paid nothing for this game.”

    Customer: “But if I would’ve paid–”

    Manager: “Get out of my store.”

    Customer: *walks out in a huff*

    Bribery (Adjusted For Inflation)

    | Fort Wright, KY, USA |

    (A guy and his wife came into my store to ask about Wii’s. The conversation went as follows…)

    Man: “Where do you keep your Wii’s at?”

    Me: “We don’t have any in stock right now.”

    Man: “When you gettin’ some?”

    Me: “No idea man. They just ship it to us…we are getting them about once a week but no set date or anything like that.”

    Man: “Uh-huh…so you know the date but you aren’t allowed to tell us.”

    Me: “No…I don’t know the date.”

    Man’s wife: “They play it off like it’s a big secret!”

    (They leave and the man comes back about 25 minutes later, this time without his wife. He has this giant smile on his face and approaches me next to the counter.)

    Man: “Hey buddy, if you let me know when one of those Wii’s come in I’ll give you twenty dollars.”

    Me, in a very childlike excited tone: “Twenty dollars?!?! Really mister? That will totally cover all my bills and rent and anything else I need but can’t afford because I’ve lost my job!!”

    Man: “Everybody is a godd**n smarta**…”

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