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    Bribery (Adjusted For Inflation)

    | Fort Wright, KY, USA |

    (A guy and his wife came into my store to ask about Wii’s. The conversation went as follows…)

    Man: “Where do you keep your Wii’s at?”

    Me: “We don’t have any in stock right now.”

    Man: “When you gettin’ some?”

    Me: “No idea man. They just ship it to us…we are getting them about once a week but no set date or anything like that.”

    Man: “Uh-huh…so you know the date but you aren’t allowed to tell us.”

    Me: “No…I don’t know the date.”

    Man’s wife: “They play it off like it’s a big secret!”

    (They leave and the man comes back about 25 minutes later, this time without his wife. He has this giant smile on his face and approaches me next to the counter.)

    Man: “Hey buddy, if you let me know when one of those Wii’s come in I’ll give you twenty dollars.”

    Me, in a very childlike excited tone: “Twenty dollars?!?! Really mister? That will totally cover all my bills and rent and anything else I need but can’t afford because I’ve lost my job!!”

    Man: “Everybody is a godd**n smarta**…”

    Next Time, Just Smile And Nod

    , | Taylor, MI, USA |

    Customer 1: “We would like to exchange these items.”

    (Hands over unopened video game controller and sealed games.)

    Me: “Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer 1: “No, we just want to do an exchange!”

    Me: “I am unable to do a return without a receipt verifying you purchased your items at this store.”

    Customer 2:” We DON’T want to do a RETURN, we want to do an EXCHANGE!”

    (Our store also buys used video games and accessories so I think maybe that is what they’re trying to do)

    Me: “Without a receipt the only thing I can do is buy these from you but you wont get the full retail price. Is that what you’re trying to do?”

    Customer 1: “NO! I want to do an exchange!”

    Me: “Then I’ll need a receipt.”

    (Customer sits there for a minute and finally produces a receipt.)

    Me: “Thank you. I’m going to return these items and when you find what you want in the store, just bring it up to the counter.”

    Customer 2: “WE CAN’T DO A RETURN, IT HAS TO BE AN EXCHANGE! IT CAN’T GO BACK ON THE CREDIT CARD!”

    Me: “Just go and pick out the items you want and if there is money left over we’ll give you a store credit.”

    Customer 2: “BUT IT CAN’T GO ON THE CREDIT CARD!! YOU CAN’T RETURN THE ITEMS!”

    Me: “We have to return them to keep our inventory up to date.”

    Customer 1: “WE JUST SAID WE CAN’T RETURN THEM, WE NEED TO EXCHANGE THEM!”

    Me: “I’m trying to explain to you that it is a corporate policy to return items not exchange them, but that does not mean the money goes on your credit card. We can give you store credit.”

    Customer 1: “So you guys are somehow different from every other store on the planet? Every other store does exchanges but not you.”

    Customer 2: “IT CAN’T GO ON THE CREDIT CARD.”

    Me: “Listen, you are over-thinking this–”

    Customer 1, cutting me off: “MAYBE YOU ARE UNDER-THINKING THIS! I TOLD YOU I WANT TO DO AN EXCHANGE. I’M GOING TO THE STORE I BOUGHT THIS FROM THEY’LL DO AN EXCHANGE!”

    Me: “You can take these items to any ***** you want. We all have to same policy.”

    Customer 2: “NO, YOU’RE JUST STUPID!”

    (They leave the store, half an hour later I get a call from the store down the street laughing and thanking me for sending over such *lovely* customers.)

    The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 2

    , | Akron, OH, USA |

    (I’m a girl, and I work in a video game store.)

    Dude: “Are you guys hiring?”

    Me: “No, we just let some people go actually.”

    Dude: “Oh, I assumed they were desperate. I mean, they hired a girl.”

    Me: “I’ve worked here for 3 years.”

    Dude: “Oh, well can I ask the manager anyway?”

    Me: “Sure, he’s standing right over there.” *points to next register*

    Manager: “Don’t even ask. You just insulted my assistant manager.”

    Related:
    The Joy Of Sex(ism)

    Ask And Ye Shall Receive

    | Houston, TX, USA | Top

    (December 24th, last day for Christmas shopping.)

    Customer: “Do you have a Nintendo Wii?”

    Me: “No sir, unfortunately we are all sold out.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It’s just pretty much the top holiday item, sir, and we have been selling out of the Wiis non-stop since last November.”

    Customer: “When do you get them in?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Not until after February, probably.”

    Customer: “D**n it! I have kids you know! Show some sympathy!”

    Me: “So do probably 70 of the 100 people in line behind you, sir. Now is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “What if I slip you a $20?”

    Me: “What about, no.”

    Customer thinking I’m stupid: “Well, sell me the box you have right there up on the corner of your shelf, you liar!”

    Me: “I can’t sell it to you, but I guess I could give it to you for free if it makes you feel better. There’s nothing in there by the way…”

    (Customer apparently completely ignores that last line.)

    Customer: “HELL YEAH I GOT MYSELF A WII! HAHAHAHAHA MERRY CHRISTMAS SUCKERS!”

    (Crowd stands with death glares fixated on me and the guy.)

    Me: *hands him the box* “Merry Christmas…next person, please.”

    Customer: “WHAT THE F***! GOD D**N S**T! There’s nothing in this d**n box!”

    Customer behind him: “That’s because he said that was just a display box. He gave it to you just so you could be happy and you accepted it, moron!”

    (Crowd of customers returns to holiday mode.)

    And The Cases Serve Their Purpose

    | Westlake Village, CA, USA |

    (Note: this is before Halo 3 has come out. A customer walks into the store and looks at the display cases of Halo 3.)

    Customer: “HALO 3 IS OUT! HOW DID I MISS IT?! Do u have any copies left?”

    Me: “No. The game does not come out for another month.”

    Customer: “Then why do you have the cases out on the floor already?! Its ridiculous! It serves no purpose but to taunt the customer. I hate when stores do this!”

    (Customer turns and complains to his friend for five minutes, then turns back to me.)

    Customer: “Is there any way that I can reserve Halo 3?”

    Me: “Yes, you can for $5.”

    (Customer buys the reserve.)

    Me, as he is leaving: “And the cases serve their purpose.”

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