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    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

    , | United Kingdom | Top

    (Note: I didn’t even work at this place. I was just looking at the games with my dad but I figured I’d help this lady out.)

    Customer: “Hi, my son wants a Star Wars game. How much will that be?”

    Me: “Well, there are lots of Star Wars games, because some are older than others. The older ones are more likely to be cheaper… sometimes the console changes the price as well.”

    Customer: “Console?”

    Me: “The thing you play it on.”

    Customer: “Oh he’s got a Gamestation.”

    Me: “Do you mean a Playstation or a Gamecube?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, it’s black.”

    Me: “Is it cube shaped?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Right so, it’s a Playstation 2. Did your son say which type of Star Wars game he wanted, or even the name?”

    Customer: “No he just said Star Wars. A shooting one, I think.”

    Me:Most of them are shooting games…”

    Customer: “Well, this is the one with the laser guns in it and the laser swords.”

    Me: *cringing* “Laser guns and laser swords are what Star Wars is famous for.”

    (My dad, who is behind me, starts laughing.)

    Customer: “I’m not some Star Wars computer genius you know! This is only the 21st century. I don’t even know why you work here if you don’t know what I should buy!”

    Me: “I don’t actually work here.”

    Customer: “Well, why are you wearing the employee t-shirt?!”

    (She points towards my Children of Bodom t-shirt.)

    Me: “Good point, go and speak to my boss if you are unhappy about me working here.”

    Customer: “I will, and you might get fired, so watch-out!”

    And Just Think, You’ll Meet Them In Multiplayer

    , | Long Island, New York, NY, USA |

    (So, GTA4 came out recently… it never occurred to me how many people didn’t know roman-bloody-numerals.)

    Customer: “I’d like to pre-order Grand Theft Auto Five.”

    Me: “Four.”

    Customer: “Four? No. I wanted Five. Four is old.”

    Me: “Four is the one coming out in a week or so.”

    Customer: “No it isn’t! It’s GTA Five you…” *mumbles*

    Me: “Sir. That’s GTAIV. IV is Four. V is Five.”

    Customer: “Well if you’re going to lie to me, I’m going to another store!” (…and he did.)

    (Another occasion…)

    Customer: “What is that… Grand Theft Auto Eye Vee…”

    Me: “Four.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Grand Theft Auto Four.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “It’s like the Rocky Movies.”

    Customer: “OH. Oh. I see now. Heh. Four.”

    (And finally, the big day: GTA IV was due to be released at midnight. I lost all hope for humanity when a customer came in and paid off the game, then asked…)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what’s midnight?”

    When In Doubt, Kick ‘Em Out

    , | Inglewood, CA, USA |

    (A customer comes in to a video game store, obviously angry.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’m here to return these two games.”

    (Hands me the two games and the receipt.)

    Customer: “For this game, I want my money back; for this DS game, I want a different game. It’s the same price so I don’t have to pay the difference.”"

    Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

    (I scan the receipt and fill out the return information.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your total will be $19.56.”

    Customer: “What?!?!?! Why is it going to be so much if it’s the same price as the other DS game?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you got this game for free.”

    Customer: “If I would’ve paid for it, it would have been the same price so I don’t owe nothing!”

    Me: “You didn’t pay anything for this game, so you won’t get anything back.”

    Customer: “But if I would’ve paid for it, it would’ve been the same price. Let me speak to your manager.”

    (I call my manager.)

    Manager: “Well ma’am, as my employee was saying, you didn’t pay anything for this game. Therefore, you will not get your money back for something you didn’t pay for.”

    Customer: “But if I would’ve paid for it–”

    Manager: “You paid nothing for this game.”

    Customer: “But if I would’ve paid–”

    Manager: “Get out of my store.”

    Customer: *walks out in a huff*

    Bribery (Adjusted For Inflation)

    | Fort Wright, KY, USA |

    (A guy and his wife came into my store to ask about Wii’s. The conversation went as follows…)

    Man: “Where do you keep your Wii’s at?”

    Me: “We don’t have any in stock right now.”

    Man: “When you gettin’ some?”

    Me: “No idea man. They just ship it to us…we are getting them about once a week but no set date or anything like that.”

    Man: “Uh-huh…so you know the date but you aren’t allowed to tell us.”

    Me: “No…I don’t know the date.”

    Man’s wife: “They play it off like it’s a big secret!”

    (They leave and the man comes back about 25 minutes later, this time without his wife. He has this giant smile on his face and approaches me next to the counter.)

    Man: “Hey buddy, if you let me know when one of those Wii’s come in I’ll give you twenty dollars.”

    Me, in a very childlike excited tone: “Twenty dollars?!?! Really mister? That will totally cover all my bills and rent and anything else I need but can’t afford because I’ve lost my job!!”

    Man: “Everybody is a godd**n smarta**…”

    Next Time, Just Smile And Nod

    , | Taylor, MI, USA |

    Customer 1: “We would like to exchange these items.”

    (Hands over unopened video game controller and sealed games.)

    Me: “Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer 1: “No, we just want to do an exchange!”

    Me: “I am unable to do a return without a receipt verifying you purchased your items at this store.”

    Customer 2:” We DON’T want to do a RETURN, we want to do an EXCHANGE!”

    (Our store also buys used video games and accessories so I think maybe that is what they’re trying to do)

    Me: “Without a receipt the only thing I can do is buy these from you but you wont get the full retail price. Is that what you’re trying to do?”

    Customer 1: “NO! I want to do an exchange!”

    Me: “Then I’ll need a receipt.”

    (Customer sits there for a minute and finally produces a receipt.)

    Me: “Thank you. I’m going to return these items and when you find what you want in the store, just bring it up to the counter.”

    Customer 2: “WE CAN’T DO A RETURN, IT HAS TO BE AN EXCHANGE! IT CAN’T GO BACK ON THE CREDIT CARD!”

    Me: “Just go and pick out the items you want and if there is money left over we’ll give you a store credit.”

    Customer 2: “BUT IT CAN’T GO ON THE CREDIT CARD!! YOU CAN’T RETURN THE ITEMS!”

    Me: “We have to return them to keep our inventory up to date.”

    Customer 1: “WE JUST SAID WE CAN’T RETURN THEM, WE NEED TO EXCHANGE THEM!”

    Me: “I’m trying to explain to you that it is a corporate policy to return items not exchange them, but that does not mean the money goes on your credit card. We can give you store credit.”

    Customer 1: “So you guys are somehow different from every other store on the planet? Every other store does exchanges but not you.”

    Customer 2: “IT CAN’T GO ON THE CREDIT CARD.”

    Me: “Listen, you are over-thinking this–”

    Customer 1, cutting me off: “MAYBE YOU ARE UNDER-THINKING THIS! I TOLD YOU I WANT TO DO AN EXCHANGE. I’M GOING TO THE STORE I BOUGHT THIS FROM THEY’LL DO AN EXCHANGE!”

    Me: “You can take these items to any ***** you want. We all have to same policy.”

    Customer 2: “NO, YOU’RE JUST STUPID!”

    (They leave the store, half an hour later I get a call from the store down the street laughing and thanking me for sending over such *lovely* customers.)


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