November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time

, | California, USA | Top

(Note: Pokemon is a game with various creatures that simulate animals in it. When a Pokemon has no hit points, or HP, is is considered “fainted.” Many mistake this for something serious, but it is easily remedied by healing your Pokemon in a specific building.)

Customer: *storms up to desk* “I DEMAND A REFUND!”

(She slams a copy of Pokemon Platinum on the counter.)

Me: “Certainly, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My freaking fire monkey DIED! See?”

(She pulls the DS from her pocket, turns it on, enters game, and shows me that her Pokemon [a chimchar] has no HP.)

Me: “Well, I can…erm…revive your ‘fire monkey’ if you’d like.”

Customer: “What are you, some freaking Pokemon priest?! MY FIRE MONKEY IS DEAD!”

Me: “No, no, look.”

(I control her character to go to a Pokemon Center and heal up her Pokemon.)

Me: “There, all better.”


Me: “Um…no problem, ma’am. Glad to help.”

Customer: “AND SO HUMBLE! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY!” *leaves store*

Another Darwin Awards Candidate

| Portugal | Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working the night shift when suddenly a guy dressed in black with a mask over his head comes in. He pulls out a gun and comes heading my way. Without even thinking, I incapacitate him with a basic self-defense skill.)

Customer: “HOLY S***! What the h*** are you doing?”

Me: “Sir, you were about to hold me up!”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You came into the store with a mask over your head and gun in hand.”

(At this point, I notice that the gun is a controller for a game. I let him go.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about what just happened, sir. So you wanted that fixed, right?”

Customer: “It’s… no big deal, can you fix it anyway?”

Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

(After checking the wiring and whatnot inside the gun, I find some faulty chipwork and fix it.)

Me: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Thanks.” *pays up*

Me: “Just one thing, though.”

Customer: “Ah, yeah?”

Me: “What’s with the mask?”

Customer: “Sometimes, I like to pretend!” *giggles and walks out*

(I never worked the night shift again.)

These Aren’t Your Parents’ ET-Murdering Games

| West Des Moines, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(I was a customer watching this exchange. A customer walked up to the counter with his young child to purchase Halo 3.)

Cashier 1: “Just to check, you know this game is rated ‘M’, right?”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Cashier 1: “Sorry, just have to check, part of the job.”

Customer: “What good is that for?”

Cashier 2: “It’s just to prevent minors from playing games with violent or mature content, unless parents are OK with it.”

Customer: “Well that’s stupid.”

Cashier 2: “It’s required by law. If we don’t check, we could lose our job. It’s a violent game – shooting aliens, blood, etc.”

Customer: “I’ve been shooting aliens since I was 12!”

Cashier 1: “Well, it’s our job and we have to do it.”

Customer: *storms out with the child* “Thanks for nothing!”

COD 4: Trout At War

, | London, UK | Uncategorized

(I witnessed from one of the checkout lines.)

Customer: “Do you have COD 4?”

Employee: “Call of Duty 4? Yes we–”

Customer: “No, no, no, not Call of Duty 4. COD 4!”

Employee: “Sir, COD 4 stands for Call of Duty 4…”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t! The customer is always right! Now bring me a copy of COD 4 right now!”

The Bruce Lee Fantasy Will Have To Wait

, | California, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m ringing up a middle-aged mother for a Nintendo Wii System she’s buying for her son.)

Me: “Would you like to buy a Nunchuk as well?”

Customer: “H*** YEAH!”

Me: *taken aback by her enthusiasm* “All right…the Nunchuk is $19.99.”

Customer: “Only twenty bucks? My kid’s gonna love it.”

Me: *holding up the controller* “Uh, the Nunchuk is a controller…it’s just this right here.”

Customer: “Oh…then never mind.”