July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 4

, | Stockholm, Sweden | Uncategorized

(A guy who bought a game comes back wanting a refund. The problem is that the game seal had been broken, the game disc had some nasty scratches on it, and it was 30 days past our return policy window.)

Me: “Hi. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve got this game here that I didn’t fully enjoy. I want a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the seal has been broken, and the disc is damaged. I can’t give you a refund for this.”

Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me! I wasn’t informed about that!”

Me: “Sir, if you look right here on your receipt, you’ll see what rights you have. And as you can see, the 30-day return policy has expired, and the game is damaged. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “Oh no, don’t try this on me. I know my rights, due to the fact that I’m a lawyer. So you’d better think about your next move, or it could end up bad for you.”

Me: “Hold on a second…are you threatening me?”

Customer: “That depends on how you handle this situation.”

(By this point, there was a large line forming in the store, and the guy standing behind my customer looked pretty pissed off.)

Customer: “So, are you going to give me a refund or not?”

Customer #2: *interrupting* “I’ve had it with this. You told this guy you’re a lawyer, right? And that you’re entitled to a refund, am I correct?”

Customer: “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, that is correct.”

Customer #2: “Here’s the deal: I know for a fact that you’re wrong. I think everyone in this store knows that you’re wrong, and the reason WHY I know this is because I AM a lawyer. What you’re doing is borderline illegal. So, may I suggest that you leave this store right now?”

Customer: *quietly* “Well…what I was trying to tell him was…um…”

(The customer then quickly left the store. Everyone, including myself, gave customer #2 a round of applause.)

Related:
We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 3
We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 2
We Need One Of These In Every Store

Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time

, | California, USA | Top

(Note: Pokemon is a game with various creatures that simulate animals in it. When a Pokemon has no hit points, or HP, is is considered “fainted.” Many mistake this for something serious, but it is easily remedied by healing your Pokemon in a specific building.)

Customer: *storms up to desk* “I DEMAND A REFUND!”

(She slams a copy of Pokemon Platinum on the counter.)

Me: “Certainly, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My freaking fire monkey DIED! See?”

(She pulls the DS from her pocket, turns it on, enters game, and shows me that her Pokemon [a chimchar] has no HP.)

Me: “Well, I can…erm…revive your ‘fire monkey’ if you’d like.”

Customer: “What are you, some freaking Pokemon priest?! MY FIRE MONKEY IS DEAD!”

Me: “No, no, look.”

(I control her character to go to a Pokemon Center and heal up her Pokemon.)

Me: “There, all better.”

Customer: “THANK YOU! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?!”

Me: “Um…no problem, ma’am. Glad to help.”

Customer: “AND SO HUMBLE! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY!” *leaves store*

Another Darwin Awards Candidate

| Portugal | Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working the night shift when suddenly a guy dressed in black with a mask over his head comes in. He pulls out a gun and comes heading my way. Without even thinking, I incapacitate him with a basic self-defense skill.)

Customer: “HOLY S***! What the h*** are you doing?”

Me: “Sir, you were about to hold me up!”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You came into the store with a mask over your head and gun in hand.”

(At this point, I notice that the gun is a controller for a game. I let him go.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about what just happened, sir. So you wanted that fixed, right?”

Customer: “It’s… no big deal, can you fix it anyway?”

Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

(After checking the wiring and whatnot inside the gun, I find some faulty chipwork and fix it.)

Me: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Thanks.” *pays up*

Me: “Just one thing, though.”

Customer: “Ah, yeah?”

Me: “What’s with the mask?”

Customer: “Sometimes, I like to pretend!” *giggles and walks out*

(I never worked the night shift again.)

These Aren’t Your Parents’ ET-Murdering Games

| West Des Moines, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(I was a customer watching this exchange. A customer walked up to the counter with his young child to purchase Halo 3.)

Cashier 1: “Just to check, you know this game is rated ‘M’, right?”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Cashier 1: “Sorry, just have to check, part of the job.”

Customer: “What good is that for?”

Cashier 2: “It’s just to prevent minors from playing games with violent or mature content, unless parents are OK with it.”

Customer: “Well that’s stupid.”

Cashier 2: “It’s required by law. If we don’t check, we could lose our job. It’s a violent game – shooting aliens, blood, etc.”

Customer: “I’ve been shooting aliens since I was 12!”

Cashier 1: “Well, it’s our job and we have to do it.”

Customer: *storms out with the child* “Thanks for nothing!”

COD 4: Trout At War

, | London, UK | Uncategorized

(I witnessed from one of the checkout lines.)

Customer: “Do you have COD 4?”

Employee: “Call of Duty 4? Yes we–”

Customer: “No, no, no, not Call of Duty 4. COD 4!”

Employee: “Sir, COD 4 stands for Call of Duty 4…”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t! The customer is always right! Now bring me a copy of COD 4 right now!”

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