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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • A Wii Bit Confused

    , | Sydney, Australia |

    (A customer hands me a Wii accessory.)

    Customer: “Do I need this?”

    Me: “Not really. That’s up to you, how often do you play with your Wii?”

    Customer: “Do I have a Wii?”

    Me: “I don’t know, do you?”

    Customer: “…oh…” *wanders off*

    One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Pleasure

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA |

    (A few years ago, a particular game went through a scandal for having hidden pornographic content.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to trade in this game.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t take this game.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because it’s undergoing a rating change. We’ve sent all of our existing copies back to the company.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s dumb. What’s it being changed to?”

    Me: “AO, or Adults Only.”

    Customer: “Woah. Why?”

    Me: “Because there’s a pornographic mini-game hidden in the coding.”

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s porn in my game?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (Suddenly, another customer behind him speaks up.)

    Another customer “If you don’t want it, can I have it?”

    Coming Soon: Backup Singer Hero

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (I’m shopping in a video game store, and an older, overweight, bald man comes into the store alone and proceeds to ask the greatest question I have ever heard.)

    Customer: “Do you have the singing game that lets YOU be the star?”

    What A Bad Decision Looks Like

    | Tyler, TX, USA |

    (A woman comes into our store with her three children, one 5-6 years old, one toddler, and another still in a stroller. The eldest children immediately grab Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas off the shelves and beseech their mother.)

    Children: “Mommy, Mommy! Can we have this one?”

    Customer: “Sure, honey.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a game for children.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, it’s rated Mature. That means it has lots of violence, and I also know it’s got drugs and sexual themes. It’s really meant for adults only.”

    Customer: *turning back to her boys* “Are you SURE this is the one you want?”

    Children: *eyes now bulging with excitement after they overheard my description* “YES! YES!”

    Customer: “Okay, then.”

    The Greater Of Two Evils

    | Southend-on-Sea, UK |

    (A customer with a small child comes into our video game store and slams The Sims 2 down on the counter angrily.)

    Customer: “Someone bought my son this game for his birthday. It’s completely unsuitable! Far too many adult themes!”

    Me: “Well, provided you have the receipt, you can exchange it for a more suitable game if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Okay, can you show me some games my son would like? Remember, he is only eight!”

    Me: “Sure…”

    (I show her a variety of games that would be fine for that age group.)

    Customer: “What about this one?” *points to Grand Theft Auto: San
    Andreas*

    Customer’s kid: “Yeah mum! I want that one!”

    Me: “Erm…I wouldn’t say that is a suitable replacement really…”

    Customer: “Well why not?”

    Me: “Well it’s about crime, and there are a lot of adult themes.”

    Customer: “But you can have sex and children in The Sims!”

    (I tried to convince her otherwise, but in the end she ended up buying GTA for her kid.)

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