Not Down Low On The Download

| Ontario, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you have [this game] for PC?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It’s $30. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “No thanks. I just wanted to see how much money I saved by downloading it instead.”

A Father’s Love Is Very Console-ing

| Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, could you give me some advice please?”

Me: “Sure, how can I help?”

Customer: “I was looking to buy a Nintendo 360 for my son.”

Customer’s Son: “Dad! It’s an Xbox360!”

Customer, to me: “This is how much help I need. Would you please?”

(Not So) Heavy Brain

| Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, welcome to [store]! Anything I can do for you?”

(Customer puts a copy of a video game on the counter.)

Customer: “I’m returning this game; it’s not for me.”

Me: “What didn’t you like about it?”

Customer: “It was the stupidest game ever! I walked around a house for 10 minutes, went to the mall, then my kid died and the credits rolled and it was over!”

Me: “Uh…those were the opening credits.”

(Role) Playing The Fool

| Winnipeg, Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer asks me to tell him about the store and what we sell. I point out the board games, miniatures and card games, but he doesn’t perk up until I mention a well-known table top fantasy RPG.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a role-playing game. You get some people together, make characters and play out what they do on adventures.”

Customer: “Is there a game going on right now?”

Me: “Well, no. You need to get people together and organize.”

Customer: “I’m only in town for three days.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s really a sit-down game. It takes a long time to play.”

Customer: “Where do I go?”

Me: “It’s a game you play with friends.”

Customer: “I mean for a dungeon. You know, role-play?”

Me: “I don’t…” *light bulb goes off* “Oh! This has nothing to do with that.”

Customer: “Do you know where I could go to find it?”

Me: “No! I don’t know anything about that!”

Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

Me: “I can’t help you. Excuse me.”

(The customer wanders around a little longer, then asks about a poster we have for a live-action game with a picture of an immodestly-dressed woman on it.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s an ad for a live-action role-playing game. People get dressed up in costumes and play.”

Customer: *very excited* “Can I meet her?”

Me: “What? No.”

Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

| Southampton, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Good morning, [game store] how can I help?”

Caller: “Can you tell me what’s coming out over the next three weeks?”

Me: “Which format would you like, sir?”

Caller: “All of them.”

Me: “You want all the releases for all the formats for the next three weeks?”

Caller: “YES!”

Me: “Okay… on PS2, we’ve got Yakuza–”

Caller: “Boring.”

Me: “Um…we’ve also got The Godfather–”

Caller: “That sounds rubbish.”

Me: “Um…there’s Reservoir Dogs next week–”

Caller: “I don’t even LIKE dogs. Why would I play that?!” *hangs up*

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