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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    What A Bad Decision Looks Like

    | Tyler, TX, USA |

    (A woman comes into our store with her three children, one 5-6 years old, one toddler, and another still in a stroller. The eldest children immediately grab Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas off the shelves and beseech their mother.)

    Children: “Mommy, Mommy! Can we have this one?”

    Customer: “Sure, honey.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a game for children.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, it’s rated Mature. That means it has lots of violence, and I also know it’s got drugs and sexual themes. It’s really meant for adults only.”

    Customer: *turning back to her boys* “Are you SURE this is the one you want?”

    Children: *eyes now bulging with excitement after they overheard my description* “YES! YES!”

    Customer: “Okay, then.”

    The Greater Of Two Evils

    | Southend-on-Sea, UK |

    (A customer with a small child comes into our video game store and slams The Sims 2 down on the counter angrily.)

    Customer: “Someone bought my son this game for his birthday. It’s completely unsuitable! Far too many adult themes!”

    Me: “Well, provided you have the receipt, you can exchange it for a more suitable game if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Okay, can you show me some games my son would like? Remember, he is only eight!”

    Me: “Sure…”

    (I show her a variety of games that would be fine for that age group.)

    Customer: “What about this one?” *points to Grand Theft Auto: San
    Andreas*

    Customer’s kid: “Yeah mum! I want that one!”

    Me: “Erm…I wouldn’t say that is a suitable replacement really…”

    Customer: “Well why not?”

    Me: “Well it’s about crime, and there are a lot of adult themes.”

    Customer: “But you can have sex and children in The Sims!”

    (I tried to convince her otherwise, but in the end she ended up buying GTA for her kid.)

    The People Of England Wholeheartedly Agree

    , | Erie, PA, USA |

    Customer: “How do you change the language setting on The Sims?”

    Me: “Well, I’d imagine there’s something in the game’s options. What did you need to set it to?”

    Customer: “English.”

    Me: “Funny, I’d think that would be the default.”

    Customer: “But I can’t understand them!”

    Me: “Wait, you mean the Sims themselves?”

    Customer: “Yes! They’re speaking French!”

    Me: “No, they’re speaking Simlish. It’s a gibberish language.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, it sounds like French!”

    Your One-Stop Shop For Addictive Substances

    , | Manchester, CT, USA |

    (An older lady came in to the store I worked at looking for the Playstation game “Croc”.)

    Customer: “Hey! Y’all got crack?”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Crack!”

    Me: “Do you mean…Everquest?”

    Customer: “NO, D***IT, I WANT CRACK. You know, little alligator be runnin’ ’round ‘n s***.”

    Me: “…do you mean ‘Croc’?”

    Customer: “Crack, Croc, whatever!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, right here…” *rings up sale*

    (After the lady left, my boss came up to me.)

    Manager: “Did that lady just try to buy crack rocks from you?!”

    We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 4

    , | Stockholm, Sweden |

    (A guy who bought a game comes back wanting a refund. The problem is that the game seal had been broken, the game disc had some nasty scratches on it, and it was 30 days past our return policy window.)

    Me: “Hi. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ve got this game here that I didn’t fully enjoy. I want a refund.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the seal has been broken, and the disc is damaged. I can’t give you a refund for this.”

    Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me! I wasn’t informed about that!”

    Me: “Sir, if you look right here on your receipt, you’ll see what rights you have. And as you can see, the 30-day return policy has expired, and the game is damaged. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do.”

    Customer: “Oh no, don’t try this on me. I know my rights, due to the fact that I’m a lawyer. So you’d better think about your next move, or it could end up bad for you.”

    Me: “Hold on a second…are you threatening me?”

    Customer: “That depends on how you handle this situation.”

    (By this point, there was a large line forming in the store, and the guy standing behind my customer looked pretty pissed off.)

    Customer: “So, are you going to give me a refund or not?”

    Customer #2: *interrupting* “I’ve had it with this. You told this guy you’re a lawyer, right? And that you’re entitled to a refund, am I correct?”

    Customer: “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, that is correct.”

    Customer #2: “Here’s the deal: I know for a fact that you’re wrong. I think everyone in this store knows that you’re wrong, and the reason WHY I know this is because I AM a lawyer. What you’re doing is borderline illegal. So, may I suggest that you leave this store right now?”

    Customer: *quietly* “Well…what I was trying to tell him was…um…”

    (The customer then quickly left the store. Everyone, including myself, gave customer #2 a round of applause.)

    Related:
    We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 3
    We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 2
    We Need One Of These In Every Store


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