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    One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Pleasure

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA |

    (A few years ago, a particular game went through a scandal for having hidden pornographic content.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to trade in this game.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t take this game.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because it’s undergoing a rating change. We’ve sent all of our existing copies back to the company.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s dumb. What’s it being changed to?”

    Me: “AO, or Adults Only.”

    Customer: “Woah. Why?”

    Me: “Because there’s a pornographic mini-game hidden in the coding.”

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s porn in my game?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (Suddenly, another customer behind him speaks up.)

    Another customer “If you don’t want it, can I have it?”

    Coming Soon: Backup Singer Hero

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (I’m shopping in a video game store, and an older, overweight, bald man comes into the store alone and proceeds to ask the greatest question I have ever heard.)

    Customer: “Do you have the singing game that lets YOU be the star?”

    What A Bad Decision Looks Like

    | Tyler, TX, USA |

    (A woman comes into our store with her three children, one 5-6 years old, one toddler, and another still in a stroller. The eldest children immediately grab Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas off the shelves and beseech their mother.)

    Children: “Mommy, Mommy! Can we have this one?”

    Customer: “Sure, honey.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a game for children.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, it’s rated Mature. That means it has lots of violence, and I also know it’s got drugs and sexual themes. It’s really meant for adults only.”

    Customer: *turning back to her boys* “Are you SURE this is the one you want?”

    Children: *eyes now bulging with excitement after they overheard my description* “YES! YES!”

    Customer: “Okay, then.”

    The Greater Of Two Evils

    | Southend-on-Sea, UK |

    (A customer with a small child comes into our video game store and slams The Sims 2 down on the counter angrily.)

    Customer: “Someone bought my son this game for his birthday. It’s completely unsuitable! Far too many adult themes!”

    Me: “Well, provided you have the receipt, you can exchange it for a more suitable game if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Okay, can you show me some games my son would like? Remember, he is only eight!”

    Me: “Sure…”

    (I show her a variety of games that would be fine for that age group.)

    Customer: “What about this one?” *points to Grand Theft Auto: San
    Andreas*

    Customer’s kid: “Yeah mum! I want that one!”

    Me: “Erm…I wouldn’t say that is a suitable replacement really…”

    Customer: “Well why not?”

    Me: “Well it’s about crime, and there are a lot of adult themes.”

    Customer: “But you can have sex and children in The Sims!”

    (I tried to convince her otherwise, but in the end she ended up buying GTA for her kid.)

    The People Of England Wholeheartedly Agree

    , | Erie, PA, USA |

    Customer: “How do you change the language setting on The Sims?”

    Me: “Well, I’d imagine there’s something in the game’s options. What did you need to set it to?”

    Customer: “English.”

    Me: “Funny, I’d think that would be the default.”

    Customer: “But I can’t understand them!”

    Me: “Wait, you mean the Sims themselves?”

    Customer: “Yes! They’re speaking French!”

    Me: “No, they’re speaking Simlish. It’s a gibberish language.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, it sounds like French!”


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