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  • (Role) Playing The Fool

    | Winnipeg, Canada |

    (A customer asks me to tell him about the store and what we sell. I point out the board games, miniatures and card games, but he doesn’t perk up until I mention a well-known table top fantasy RPG.)

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “It’s a role-playing game. You get some people together, make characters and play out what they do on adventures.”

    Customer: “Is there a game going on right now?”

    Me: “Well, no. You need to get people together and organize.”

    Customer: “I’m only in town for three days.”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s really a sit-down game. It takes a long time to play.”

    Customer: “Where do I go?”

    Me: “It’s a game you play with friends.”

    Customer: “I mean for a dungeon. You know, role-play?”

    Me: “I don’t…” *light bulb goes off* “Oh! This has nothing to do with that.”

    Customer: “Do you know where I could go to find it?”

    Me: “No! I don’t know anything about that!”

    Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

    Me: “I can’t help you. Excuse me.”

    (The customer wanders around a little longer, then asks about a poster we have for a live-action game with a picture of an immodestly-dressed woman on it.)

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “That’s an ad for a live-action role-playing game. People get dressed up in costumes and play.”

    Customer: *very excited* “Can I meet her?”

    Me: “What? No.”

    Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

    Barking Up The Wrong Tree

    | Southampton, UK |

    Me: “Good morning, [game store] how can I help?”

    Caller: “Can you tell me what’s coming out over the next three weeks?”

    Me: “Which format would you like, sir?”

    Caller: “All of them.”

    Me: “You want all the releases for all the formats for the next three weeks?”

    Caller: “YES!”

    Me: “Okay… on PS2, we’ve got Yakuza–”

    Caller: “Boring.”

    Me: “Um…we’ve also got The Godfather–”

    Caller: “That sounds rubbish.”

    Me: “Um…there’s Reservoir Dogs next week–”

    Caller: “I don’t even LIKE dogs. Why would I play that?!” *hangs up*

    Sizing Up Customers

    | Sheffield, UK |

    (An elderly female customer has been looking intently at the PC games for about ten minutes.)

    Me: “Hi, are you alright there? Do you have any questions?”

    Customer: “Oh yes. I have a PC upstairs, and a laptop downstairs.”

    Me: “Right.”

    Customer: “Will there games work on both? The CD tray is bigger on the PC.”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “And smaller on the laptop.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure they’re both the same size.”

    Customer: “But the laptop is smaller.”

    Me: “They will work on both, trust me.”

    The Tenth Circle Is Stupidity

    | Duluth, MN, USA |

    (A customer looks at our new game Dante’s Inferno.)

    Customer: “Is this, like about Dante from Devil May Cry?”

    Me: “No, it’s based off the poems.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “It’s was originally a series of poems. The Divine Comedy.”

    Customer: “So, it’s a book?”

    Me: “No, it’s a game based off the poems from the Divine Comedy.”

    Customer: “What? So it’s a game then? What the heck is a poem?”

    Playing The Blame (Video) Game

    | Sydney, Australia | Top

    Customer: *walks up with an X-Box game* “Hi I’d like to purchase this.”

    (Later in the afternoon, the same customer from that morning comes in.)

    Customer: “You! You sold me a bad game! You’ve ruined my son’s birthday!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “My son asked for this game for his birthday! The machine said he can’t play it! What kind of cruel business do you run? Teasing small children!”

    (I look at the disc and it’s in brand new condition.)

    Me: “That’s odd, ma’am. I’ll just test it on our machine quickly.”

    (I go over to our display case wear our consoles are set up. I start to put the disc in the X-Box.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry, do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You’re putting it in the wrong machine! It’s no wonder you sold me a faulty disc!”

    Me: “What does his machine look like?”

    Customer: “That one there!” *points at Playstation 3* “Don’t you dare tell me it’s a faulty machine it plays the other discs fine!”

    Me: “I’ll bet it does ma’am, because those are Playstation games. And this is an X-Box game.”

    Customer: “We’ll, why didn’t you tell me that when I purchased it?”

    Me: “I didn’t know your son owned a Playstation.”

    Customer: “Well, whose fault is that?!”

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