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    Playing The Blame (Video) Game

    | Sydney, Australia | Top

    Customer: *walks up with an X-Box game* “Hi I’d like to purchase this.”

    (Later in the afternoon, the same customer from that morning comes in.)

    Customer: “You! You sold me a bad game! You’ve ruined my son’s birthday!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “My son asked for this game for his birthday! The machine said he can’t play it! What kind of cruel business do you run? Teasing small children!”

    (I look at the disc and it’s in brand new condition.)

    Me: “That’s odd, ma’am. I’ll just test it on our machine quickly.”

    (I go over to our display case wear our consoles are set up. I start to put the disc in the X-Box.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry, do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You’re putting it in the wrong machine! It’s no wonder you sold me a faulty disc!”

    Me: “What does his machine look like?”

    Customer: “That one there!” *points at Playstation 3* “Don’t you dare tell me it’s a faulty machine it plays the other discs fine!”

    Me: “I’ll bet it does ma’am, because those are Playstation games. And this is an X-Box game.”

    Customer: “We’ll, why didn’t you tell me that when I purchased it?”

    Me: “I didn’t know your son owned a Playstation.”

    Customer: “Well, whose fault is that?!”

    Hear, Speak, Say, Play No Evil

    | Texas, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store].”

    Caller: “I was talking with my friend, about that game I wanted for my grandson? ‘Uncharted Drake’s Fortune’? I thought it was clean, but my friend told me it isn’t clean!”

    Me: “Clean, ma’am?”

    Caller: “You know, clean! Not evil?”

    Me: “It’s only rated ‘T’ for ‘teen’, ma’am.”

    Caller: “But is it clean? I don’t want my grandson playing any evil games. What’s this game about?”

    (I describe the premise of the game.)

    Caller: “So you’re killing the bad guys, then? You’re the good guy?”

    Me: “Exactly, ma’am.”

    Caller: “So you’re like God striking down Satan?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, something like that.”

    Caller: “Oh, good, I’m so glad! Now my friend was telling me that in this game people are digging up graves. Is that true? That’s just not Christian!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, it’s only the bad guys digging up graves and making zombies.”

    Caller: “What’s a zombie? I’ve never heard of this.”

    Me: “Dead bodies that come back to life, ma’am? They’re supernatural creatures, like vampires or werewolves.”

    Caller: “Oh! This game isn’t going to teach my grandson to do any of that horrible witchcraft, is it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, like I said, only the bad guys are doing that. You’re the good guy; you’re trying to stop them.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay, then. Well thank you so much, and God bless you and everyone at your store, and God be with you!”

    By Then It Won’t Be So Modern

    | Virginia Beach, VA, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have Modern Warfare 2?”

    Me: “No, sorry sir. We only sell pre-owned games.”

    Customer: “So it’s out of stock right now?”

    Me: “No, sir. Since the game only came out yesterday we won’t have it in unless someone decides they don’t want it.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have it?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Customer: “When will you have it?”

    Me: “In about two years.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll come back then.”

    Welcome To B.C. Bookstores

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (I’m ringing up a young couple for a video game. The girlfriend asks about the game and the boyfriend describes it to her.)

    Boyfriend: “[In the game] you’re one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

    Girlfriend: “Which one?”

    Boyfriend: “War.”

    Girlfriend: “Who are the others?”

    Boyfriend: “Famine, Pestilence, and Plague.”

    Girlfriend: “Who makes this s*** up?!”

    When Customers Have You At A Loss

    | Allentown, PA, USA |

    Customer: “What do I need to get a warranty for my Xbox?”

    Me: “Depends, did you buy it new or used?”

    Customer: “Used.”

    Me: “Okay, you still have the receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay, if it’s been less then two weeks you can bring the receipt down here and we can sell you a warranty that’ll extend the manufacturer warranty for another 2 years.”

    Customer: “So, if I bring my Xbox over tomorrow and buy a warranty you can replace it for me right then?”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Customer: “My Xbox broke about a week ago and I wanted to know if I could get a warranty tomorrow and you guys give me a new one.”

    Me: “How long ago did you buy this?”

    Customer: “Two years ago.”

    Me: “No, you can’t do that.”

    Customer: “What!? Why not? You just said I could.”

    Me: “Sir, that’s like buy a car, driving it through the wall of an insurance company and then climbing out and asking for full coverage. It’s just not going to happen. It’s bad business.”

    Customer: “Well, f*** you then!”

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