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    When Customers Have You At A Loss

    | Allentown, PA, USA |

    Customer: “What do I need to get a warranty for my Xbox?”

    Me: “Depends, did you buy it new or used?”

    Customer: “Used.”

    Me: “Okay, you still have the receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay, if it’s been less then two weeks you can bring the receipt down here and we can sell you a warranty that’ll extend the manufacturer warranty for another 2 years.”

    Customer: “So, if I bring my Xbox over tomorrow and buy a warranty you can replace it for me right then?”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Customer: “My Xbox broke about a week ago and I wanted to know if I could get a warranty tomorrow and you guys give me a new one.”

    Me: “How long ago did you buy this?”

    Customer: “Two years ago.”

    Me: “No, you can’t do that.”

    Customer: “What!? Why not? You just said I could.”

    Me: “Sir, that’s like buy a car, driving it through the wall of an insurance company and then climbing out and asking for full coverage. It’s just not going to happen. It’s bad business.”

    Customer: “Well, f*** you then!”

    Wireless, Clueless, & Hopeless, Part 3

    | California, USA |

    Me: “Thanks for calling [store], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello. I have a console that can connect to the internet and every time I try to connect it asks for a password. It didn’t used to do that. Is there any way I can create a password for it?”

    Me: “That’s odd. Did you get a new router for your internet connection?”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Me: “Do you have wireless internet in your house?”

    Customer: “I don’t have internet.”

    Me: “Sir, you are connecting to your neighbor’s internet. They didn’t like it so they put a password on their network so that you can’t connect to it.”

    Customer: “So can I set up a password and connect to it?”

    Related:
    Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
    Wireless Clueless & Hopeless

    A Wii Bit Confused

    , | Sydney, Australia |

    (A customer hands me a Wii accessory.)

    Customer: “Do I need this?”

    Me: “Not really. That’s up to you, how often do you play with your Wii?”

    Customer: “Do I have a Wii?”

    Me: “I don’t know, do you?”

    Customer: “…oh…” *wanders off*

    One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Pleasure

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA |

    (A few years ago, a particular game went through a scandal for having hidden pornographic content.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to trade in this game.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t take this game.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because it’s undergoing a rating change. We’ve sent all of our existing copies back to the company.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s dumb. What’s it being changed to?”

    Me: “AO, or Adults Only.”

    Customer: “Woah. Why?”

    Me: “Because there’s a pornographic mini-game hidden in the coding.”

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s porn in my game?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (Suddenly, another customer behind him speaks up.)

    Another customer “If you don’t want it, can I have it?”

    Coming Soon: Backup Singer Hero

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (I’m shopping in a video game store, and an older, overweight, bald man comes into the store alone and proceeds to ask the greatest question I have ever heard.)

    Customer: “Do you have the singing game that lets YOU be the star?”


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