Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Much Ado About Nothing (Inside)

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (Note: this takes place a week before Christmas in a store packed full of people. I am the only one operating the registers when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling , how can I help you?”

    Other Store: “I am sending a customer your way for a game. The system says you have one left.”

    (Sure enough, a customer shows up for a very popular game. When I begin to ring her out, I explain that even though the plastic is removed, it is a brand new game.)

    Customer: “That is not a brand new game!”

    Me: “I assure you it is, madam. We must remove all discs from the cases if they are being displayed on the floor, and this is my last copy.”

    Customer: “It has been opened! It’s been played! You’re lying to me!”

    (At this point, she turns to the long line behind her and starts yelling at everyone in line.)

    Customer: “Can you believe this?! This is ridiculous! This game is for a child! I can’t give an opened game to a child for Christmas!!”

    (Without missing a beat, the entire line opens their game cases. All of them are empty.)

    Customer: “None of you love your children!” *storms out*

    Modern Scam-ily

    | Akron, OH, USA |

    (An elderly woman enters and approaches the counter carrying an original Xbox under her arm.)

    Customer: “My grandson gave me this for Christmas and, well, I’m just not interested in video games so I was wondering if I could trade it in for money.”

    Me: “Well, we can only give you store credit, not cash.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. I could just give him the store credit as a late Christmas gift.”

    Me: “Alright. Well, before I take it, I have to test it to make sure it works.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Hmm?”

    Customer: “Why do you have to test it? I’m sure it works!”

    Me: “Company policy ma’am. It’ll just be a second, I just have to plug it in right here and see if it turns on and runs a game.”

    Customer: “I’m saying you don’t need to check it! Why would my grandson give me a broken game!?”

    Me: “Well, then, you can’t trade it, in ma’am.”

    Customer: “Fine, go ahead! I’m sure it works!”

    (I proceed to plug the system in, and it turns on, but the disc tray opens on its own and refuses to close unless I force it closed while the power is off.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t take this system. The disc tray doesn’t stay closed and–”

    (Suddenly, the woman rips the cords out of the test TV and outlet, picks up the Xbox, and storms out. While the door is still open, she smacks a young man standing outside the door in the back of the head and screams “Stupid kid, making me look like a fool just so you could get rid of your d*** broken system!”)

    Ex-Box

    | Lake Charles, LA, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. Do Xbox 360s come with cup holders?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Person in the background: “IT’S ON FIRE!”

    Black Ops To Get You Black Listed

    | MN, USA |

    Customer: “Hi. I have a question for you guys. I haven’t been able to log in to Xbox Live. Has there been an outage?”

    Me: “Not that I’m aware of. Have you done anything while online that might have gotten you banned?”

    Customer: “No. I’ve only been playing the one game and no one is even online when I check!”

    Me: “I think you might have to call their tech support. They should be able to help you out.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright. Anyway, I also want to cancel my pre-order for Black Ops.”

    Me: “Okay. I can do that for you. May I ask why?”

    Customer: “I’ve already got it.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “I already have it. Nobody’s online, though.”

    Me: “Sir, are you telling me that you’ve been playing a game that hasn’t been released and that you are actively going online with it?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Why?”

    Me: “I think I’ve figured out why you can’t get on Xbox Live.”

    A Mother With Breast Intentions

    | Muskegon, MI, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for a video game for my 14-year old son. Do you have any suggestions?”

    Me: “God of War just came out, and that’s pretty popular. It’s kind of a hack and slash game. Let me show you.”

    (I show her the game.)

    Me: “I do want to warn you, it might not be appropriate for him.”

    Customer: “Why is that?”

    Me: “Well, it has a lot of boobs in it.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. My son loves boobs!”

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