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    That’s One Supportive Mother

    | Maidstone, UK | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Hi, can I help you at all?”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a present for my son. It’s called a ‘gay boy advanced’?”

    Me: “I’m hoping you meant a Game Boy Advanced?”

    Customer: “Oh? What did I say?”

    A Suitable Trade-Off

    | Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout

    (Sundays are our busiest days for trades at our video game store. Six people are in line at my register, and the only other employee is on the floor fielding customer questions.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling . How can I help you?”

    Caller: "I’d like to get trade-in prices for some games I have."

    Me: "No problem. We’re a bit busy in store right now, though, so I’ll only be able to give you prices on three trades over the phone. Any more, and you’ll have to come in to the store."

    Caller: “Bull! It’s 1 PM on a Sunday. No way you have that many customers."

    Me: *holding phone towards customers waiting in line* "Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the man who doesn’t think you’re here."

    Crowd: "Hi!"

    Me: "Any other questions, sir?"

    Caller: *click*

    Ah Fathers, Part 4

    | California, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer walks up to the counter in a very aggressive way.)

    Customer: “You sold a very violent game to my 14 year old son!”

    Me: “I apologize, which game did we sell him?”

    (The customer hands me copy of the game.)

    Me: “Sir, this games is rated "M" we won’t sell this game to anyone under the age of 17 without proper I.D. Are you sure he got it here?”

    Customer: “Yeah!” *hands me receipt*

    (The receipt had been printed at my register, and was marked for earlier that day.)

    Me: “The only copy of this game we sold today was sold to a 21 year old.”

    Customer: “Well he acts like a 14 year old!”

    Related:
    Ah, Fathers, Part 3
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2
    Ah, Fathers

    Not Exactly Gifted, Part 2

    | Orange County, CA, USA | At The Checkout

    (A 12-year-old boy, comes up to the counter, holding a gift card.)

    Customer: “How much is this?”

    Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

    Customer: “But what does it do?”

    Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

    Customer: “How much?”

    Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

    Customer: “Can I get $10?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I ring up the gift card.)

    Me: “That’ll be $10.”

    (He hands me $1.35.)

    Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

    Customer: “I only have that.”

    Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

    Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”

    Related:
    Not Exactly Gifted

    Flipping Through The Atlas

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Language & Words, Top

    (I am Filipino, but people often mistake me for Chinese due to my pale skin. Another Filipino co-worker comes in while I am working with a customer. We exchange greetings in Tagalog, a Filipino language with some Spanish influences.)

    Customer: “Say that again. That thing you said to that other guy.”

    Me: “Kumusta?”

    Customer: “‘Cómo está’. That’s Spanish! What does a Chinese dude need to know Spanish for?”

    Me: “Actually, I–”

    Customer: “Say something else in Spanish!”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t speak Spanish very well.”

    Customer: “Come on! Say something!”

    Me: “Vamanos?”

    Customer: “Wow! Hey, do you speak Chinese?”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    Customer: “Come on now! You must know some Chinese!”

    Me: “Uh… I don’t know… ‘Ni hao’?”

    Customer: “Now say something in Japanese!”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “Japanese!”

    Me: “Arigato?”

    Customer: “Now do Russian!”

    Me: “Vodka?”

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