November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Mommy More Melee

| Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids

(A female customer who looks to be in her late thirties is at the counter asking about upcoming games releases for her 10-12 year old son, who is looking through the games on display. He runs up to the counter.)

Child: “Mummy, mummy, can I have this game?”

(He hands the 18+ rated game “Dead Island” to his mom, who looks at the back of the box.)

Woman: *disgusted* “You’re not having this! Look, it’s got a man hitting a zombie with an axe on the back! I’ve got no problem with you shooting people, but an axe?!”

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3

| Dublin, Ireland | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(A kid walks into the store and brings “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” up to the counter. He’s no more than 11.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you rent that game. It’s for over 18 only.”

Kid: “My mom lets me play this all the time!”

Me: “Well, you’ll have to get her to rent it for you then.”

(The kid stomps off and returns with his mother. She brings the game up.)

Customer: “I want to rent this.”

Me: “Well, I should tell you that it is a very violent game.”

Customer: “I don’t mind that.”

Me: “Well, in this game, you can actually pick up a hooker and beat her to death afterwards to get back your money. There’s loads of graphic violence and bad language.”

Customer: *alarmed* “Bad language?” *turns to her son* “Darren, you know you’re not allowed things with bad language!” *grabs him by the arm and storms out with him in tow*

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

The Lesser Of Two Intergalactic Evils

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

(An elderly man dressed like a hippie is looking through our PS2 section.)

Customer: “Now, this game has the right idea.” *gestures to a copy of ‘Destroy All Humans’* “Humanity is what’s killing mother Earth. The world would be so much better if we just got rid of them all.”

Me: “Um, sir, do you really think a race whose primary weapon is an anal probe gun would really do any better?”

Customer: *thinks it over* “No, I suppose you’re right.” *sadly puts the game back and walks away*

More Daylight, Less Twilight, Part 6

| Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Top

(I’m helping a customer in her early teens.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m trying to find a game for my boyfriend. Could you help me?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. What sort of—”

Customer: “Oh, the guy on this is hot! What’s this like?”

Me: “Oh, that’s the new Castlevania game. Basically, it’s about killing vampires and werewolves.”

Customer: “What!?! Why would anyone buy this?! Vampires and werewolves are cool and hot! You make me sick selling this! Haven’t you ever seen Twilight!? Vampires are like people!” *runs out of the shop with tears in her eyes*

Me: “I feel so sorry for her boyfriend.”

Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
Less Twilight, More Daylight

You Have Unlocked The Lazy Moralist Achievement

| Finland | Geeks Rule

Customer: “Hi, I would like to return this game.”

Me: “Of course. Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Yes, here it is.”

(We sell game protection for all video games in case the customer breaks or scratches their game. It can be purchased for both new and pre-owned games.)

Me: “I see this game was purchased new and you haven’t purchased our game protection, so unfortunately, I cannot give you a refund. What exactly is wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s too hard.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s too difficult!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I really cannot give you a refund just because it’s too difficult to play. Have you tried searching for a walkthrough guide on the internet?”

Customer: “Isn’t that cheating?”

Me: “Well, yes but—”

Customer: “Never mind.” *leaves*