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    With Great Money Comes Fiscal Responsibility

    | Quebec, Canada |

    Customer: “Excuse me? My 13-year-old son went to your store last night and spent over $200.”

    Me: “Okay, and what is the problem?”

    Customer: “Well, no one asked him for ID.”

    Me: *confused* “Well, did he buy anything that requires him to be a certain age?”

    Customer: “No, but he spent $200 and he’s only 13 years old. No one asked him for his ID!”

    Me: “So, I should have asked him for ID and then declined to sell something to him because he’s a teenager?”

    Customer: “Exactly. I’m shocked that your store doesn’t seem to have a policy about this.”

    Me: “Ma’am, how did your son pay for what he bought?”

    Customer: “Cash, of course. He’s way too young to have a debit or credit card.”

    Me: “So you allowed your son to spend a Friday evening at the mall with $200 cash on him, but you’re blaming our store because he spent it?”

    Customer: “Pretty much, yes.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if he wasn’t buying anything he was too young to buy, I couldn’t decline the sale because of his age, as that would be discrimination.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m pretty sure there are laws against it. I’ll be getting back to you.”

    It’s Funnier When The Parents Do It

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work at a major gaming retailer. A customer walks in with her son and wants to trade games in for another game. I have a running joke I state to customers: when signing over games, I verify that they are their games and not games from some kids they beat up.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am. Please sign on the pad stating these are your games, that you are voluntarily selling them to us, and that you didn’t beat up some kid and leave him in a snow drift somewhere.”

    (The customer’s 14 year old son cracks up laughing.)

    Customer: “How can you say that?! That is a rude and despicable thing to accuse me of!”

    Son: “Mom, he’s kidding!”

    (The customers behind her start laughing as well.)

    Customer: “Ah, okay. I’d like [game] in exchange, please.”

    Grand Theft Innocence

    | Georgia, USA | Family & Kids

    (Note: it’s illegal to sell games rated M to small children without parental consent. A young boy and girl, both about ten years old, bring a game well-known for violence, sex, and other child-inappropriate behavior to the counter.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I need your parent’s permission before I can sell you this.”

    Kid #1: “Why? He said we can have it. We have the other ones. Just sell it to me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’ll have to get your parent’s permission first.”

    Kid #2: “Fine. I’ll go get him. Daddy is in the car.”

    (The kid returns, followed by her irate dad.)

    Dad: “Why won’t you sell them this stupid game? I had to get out of the car because you can’t trust my children not to buy something they shouldn’t? I have good kids!”

    Me: “I’m sure you do, sir. It’s a law, though. I can get fired if I don’t make sure to get your permission.”

    Dad: “There’s nothing wrong with this game! I want to see your manager!”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (My manager comes over and gets and ear-full from the guy. He explains how I’ve insulted him and his children by making him come inside.)

    Manager: “Well, sir, she’s absolutely right. This game is rated mature and has some pretty rough language and sexual content.”

    Dad: “Don’t you think I know what the game is? They have the other ones.”

    Manager: “I’m a little surprised, sir. I don’t allow my kids to play this game. It’s pretty violent.”

    Dad: “I turn the volume down! What kind of parent do you think I am?”

    Manager: “Well, sir, you can’t turn the volume down on beating a hooker with a baseball bat.”

    (The dad storms out of the store with his kids, all the while asking if they knew about the hookers and baseball bats.)

    Parenting Requires Teamwork, Sometimes Involuntary

    | Australia | Family & Kids

    (A mother is chasing her 5 year old around the store because he can’t have what he wants. After chasing him for a few seconds and yelling at him, she turns to me.)

    Customer: “Can you tell my son you don’t want him in your store?”

    Me: “Um, I don’t know if that would–”

    Customer, to her son: “See! The man says you’re bad and have to get out of the store!”

    Son: *leaves quietly*

    Me: *speechless*

    Yo Hablo Deutschpañol

    | Bergen, Norway |

    (A customer comes up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Where did you learn to speak English so well?”

    Me: “From school, I guess? And from watching movies and reading books–”

    Customer: “That’s good! I had Spanish in high school, and all I remember is ‘Auf wiedersehen’!”

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