(I am Filipino, but people often mistake me for Chinese due to my pale skin. Another Filipino co-worker comes in while I am working with a customer. We exchange greetings in Tagalog, a Filipino language with some Spanish influences.)
Customer: “Say that again. That thing you said to that other guy.”
Me: “Kumusta?”
Customer: “‘Cómo está’. That’s Spanish! What does a Chinese dude need to know Spanish for?”
Me: “Actually, I–”
Customer: “Say something else in Spanish!”
Me: “Sir, I don’t speak Spanish very well.”
Customer: “Come on! Say something!”
Me: “Vamanos?”
Customer: “Wow! Hey, do you speak Chinese?”
Me: “Sorry, no.”
Customer: “Come on now! You must know some Chinese!”
Me: “Uh… I don’t know… ‘Ni hao’?”
Customer: “Now say something in Japanese!”
Me: “Sir?”
Customer: “Japanese!”
Me: “Arigato?”
Customer: “Now do Russian!”
Me: “Vodka?”
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(I am calling a customer to let them know that their order is in.)
Me: “May I please speak with Mrs.***?”
Customer: “Speaking.”
Me: “Hi there, this is Sarah, I’m calling from [store] to let you know that your order is in, and you can come pick it up anytime.”
*long pause*
Me: “Hello?”
Customer: “Oh! I’m sorry. I thought you were a recording!”
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Me: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”
Customer: “Yeah, do you have [this game] for PC?”
Me: “Yes, we do. It’s $30. Would you like to purchase it?”
Customer: “No thanks. I just wanted to see how much money I saved by downloading it instead.”
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2,410 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Excuse me, could you give me some advice please?”
Me: “Sure, how can I help?”
Customer: “I was looking to buy a Nintendo 360 for my son.”
Customer’s Son: “Dad! It’s an Xbox360!”
Customer, to me: “This is how much help I need. Would you please?”
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3,457 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “Hi, welcome to [store]! Anything I can do for you?”
(Customer puts a copy of a video game on the counter.)
Customer: “I’m returning this game; it’s not for me.”
Me: “What didn’t you like about it?”
Customer: “It was the stupidest game ever! I walked around a house for 10 minutes, went to the mall, then my kid died and the credits rolled and it was over!”
Me: “Uh…those were the opening credits.”
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2,414 Thumbs Up!)
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