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  • The Boss-tomer Is Always Right

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Technology, Top

    (I am overhearing a heated argument between a very rude customer and my manager.)

    Customer: “This game isn’t working like it’s supposed to. I demand a full refund!”

    Manager: “Once again, sir, the packaging’s already been opened. I’m afraid there’s not much I can do. If you had read the packaging before opening it, you would have known that this game would not be compatible with your system.”

    Customer: “That’s a lie! You are lying to me! This game is d*** well compatible. This one is just defective!”

    (I walk over to where my manager and the customer is. Much to my horror, I am met with a very unpleasant surprise: the customer is actually my boss at my second job.)

    Customer: “Hey! [my name]! Help me out here! This guy clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

    Me: “Well, [boss], why don’t you explain to me your side of the story, since I just joined in?”

    Customer: “I tried to run this game on my girlfriend’s laptop and it won’t work. Now this guy over here is trying to tell me that it isn’t supposed to work!”

    Me: “Um, well, he’s right. That game isn’t compatible with computers. This is an Xbox 360 game.”

    Customer: “Aww, for Christ’s sake, not you too! My girlfriend’s laptop runs Windows. Windows is Microsoft. Xbox is also Microsoft.”

    Me: “No, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. If it did, that would defeat the purpose of having two separate products.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that bulls***! I want my money back now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you really should’ve asked an employee before you bought that game, or at least read the back of the box. We can’t take back opened products.”

    Customer: “You really gonna talk to me like that? Well, fine! You better start working here full-time now, because as of now, your a** is fired from MY shop!”

    (My now ex-boss takes his game and angrily leaves the store. What does he do for a living? He’s the owner of a retail shop and his return policy is much more strict than ours.)

    Thar She ISOs

    | Hollywood, FL, USA | USA | Criminal/Illegal

    Customer: “You guys buy games, right?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Customer: “Any games, right?”

    Me: “Unless we have several of them in stock, or they’re in very poor condition, yes.”

    Customer: “So, you’ll take any games as long as there’s no scratches and you don’t have a bunch of them, right?”

    Me: “Correct.”

    Customer: “Okay, good! I’ve got 20 games here that I wanna sell.”

    (The man opens the shoebox he’s been carrying and starts to unload a number of discs onto the counter.)

    Me: “Uh, sir…I can’t take these games.”

    Customer: “Why not? You just said you could!”

    Me: “Because they’re illegally copied games.”

    Customer: “But you said you’d take them!”

    Me: “Not if they’re DVD-Rs with the names written in Sharpie!”

    Weekend Roundup: You Drive Me Crazy

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bizarre, Roundups

    Your Drive Me Crazy! This week, we share five stories of customers who drive employees nuts—and the brave workers who are driven to serve them just the same!

    1. Drive Hoo:
      Woohoo! Drive-thru customers can really drive you crazy!
    2. Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time:
      Proof that Pokémon-players take “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” VERY seriously.
    3. Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…:
      A customer wanting to clone his dog? Just another day at the bookstore!
    4. That Was Random:
      One coffee shop customer takes a random walk on the weird side.
    5. We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This:
      Tech support can fix your hard drive, but not the car you drive!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Dovahkiin’s Day Off

    | Hamburg, Germany | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Skyrim, a popular video game, has just been released. As a result, we are overwhelmed by people who have come to retrieve pre-ordered games and others who haven’t pre-ordered. We’ve just run out of non-pre-ordered games when a customer comes in. He’s holding an empty Skyrim box.)

    Customer: “Oh, hi. I would like to buy Skyrim on PC, please.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we’ve just run out of it. The only ones we have left are pre-ordered.”

    Customer: “Aw, come on, man! You must have some left in the back! Please, go check!”

    Me: “No, I’m sure we ran out of those. Same for PS3 and Xbox versions. Come back tomorrow morning; we’ll be resupplied.”

    (He moans about it for at least 5 minutes before giving up and begins wandering around the store. At this moment, another customer comes in to retrieve a pre-ordered PC version of Skyrim. Before we can say or do anything, the first customer LEAPS on the man, snatches the game from his hands and runs away, with me in tow followed by security. During the chase, the thief screams as if we are going to murder him.)

    Customer: “LEAVE ME ALONE, IT’S MINE! IT’S MYYYYYYYYYYYY GAME!”

    (A few meters later, he crosses the path of a tall man who, seeing and hearing the commotion, screams something to the thief. The tall man then rams the thief with his shoulder, sending the poor kid fly backwards and landing a least half a meter away. As the thief is being taken away by security and I’m retrieving the game box, I talk to the tall man.)

    Me: “Sir, what did you yell to him before grabbing him?”

    Tall Man: “Promise you won’t laugh?”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Tall Man: “FUS RO DAH!”

    (FYI, “Fus Ro Dah” is a spell in Skyrim that allows players to violently push enemies and objects around. I couldn’t avoid laughing, and neither could he!)

    Hung Up On Gender

    | Elk Grove, CA, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I am one of the several female employees that work at my video game store. On this particular day, all the employees at work are female.)

    Coworker #1: “Thank you for calling [game store]. This is [name]. How can I help you?”

    (After a few seconds, my coworker hangs up the phone. I don’t think too much of it until the next phone call a few minutes later.)

    Coworker #1: “Thank you for calling [game store]—”

    (Again, my coworker hangs up.)

    Me: “Why’d you hang up? Wrong number?”

    Coworker #1: “No, I can hear the click when they hung up. They’ve been calling all day and hanging up without asking anything. You try next time.”

    (As expected, the phone rings again and I answer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [game store]—” *to my coworker* “Ah, they hung up!”

    (This goes on for the rest of the day until later that night when I’m working with another female coworker. The phone rings, and she answers.)

    Coworker #2:: “Thank you for calling [game store]. This is [name]. How can I help you?” *turns to me* “Huh, that’s odd. I think they hung up on me.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah…that’s been happening all day. I wonder why…”

    (After deliberating for awhile, we guess that the callers have been hanging up because we’re girls, and they want to talk to a male employee. I decide to test our theory the next time the phone rings.)

    Me: *in a deep voice* “Thank you for calling [game store]. How may I help you?”

    Make Caller: “Yeah, I was wondering if you had a game in stock.”

    Me: “Okay, what game are you…”*unable to maintain my deep voice, I squeak the next words in my normal pitch* “…looking for?”

    Male Caller: *instantly hangs up*

    (Later that evening, one of our male coworkers comes in to purchase a game. Upon witnessing one of the phone calls, he asks what is going on and we explain it to him. The next time the phone rings, he answers the phone.)

    Male Coworker: “Thank you for calling [game store]. How can I help you?”

    (The caller tells my coworker what game he needs, but my coworker explains he can’t help him since he’s not on the clock. My male coworker hands the phone back to me.)

    Me: *to the caller* “Okay, so you were looking for [game] and—” *to my male coworker* “He hung up again.”

    Male Coworker: *laughing* “Seriously?! From what you’ve told me, he’s been calling to ask about one game for eight hours and he can’t stay on the line long enough to listen to you because you’re a girl!”

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    Cross-Platform Chromosomes

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