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    More Daylight, Less Twilight, Part 6

    | Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Top

    (I’m helping a customer in her early teens.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m trying to find a game for my boyfriend. Could you help me?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. What sort of—”

    Customer: “Oh, the guy on this is hot! What’s this like?”

    Me: “Oh, that’s the new Castlevania game. Basically, it’s about killing vampires and werewolves.”

    Customer: “What!?! Why would anyone buy this?! Vampires and werewolves are cool and hot! You make me sick selling this! Haven’t you ever seen Twilight!? Vampires are like people!” *runs out of the shop with tears in her eyes*

    Me: “I feel so sorry for her boyfriend.”

    Related:
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
    Less Twilight, More Daylight

    You Have Unlocked The Lazy Moralist Achievement

    | Finland | Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Hi, I would like to return this game.”

    Me: “Of course. Do you have your receipt with you?”

    Customer: “Yes, here it is.”

    (We sell game protection for all video games in case the customer breaks or scratches their game. It can be purchased for both new and pre-owned games.)

    Me: “I see this game was purchased new and you haven’t purchased our game protection, so unfortunately, I cannot give you a refund. What exactly is wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It’s too hard.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “It’s too difficult!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I really cannot give you a refund just because it’s too difficult to play. Have you tried searching for a walkthrough guide on the internet?”

    Customer: “Isn’t that cheating?”

    Me: “Well, yes but—”

    Customer: “Never mind.” *leaves*

    Can I Show You My Social Insecurity Card

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Top

    (A customer is about to buy an M-rated game, which can only be purchased by people over the age of 17. My store is really strict about checking ID.)

    Me: “And may I see some ID, please?”

    Customer: “Why? What for?”

    Me: “Because this is an M-rated game, and I am required to ask for ID.”

    Customer: “Buddy, I’m 31, and it shows. You don’t need to see my ID.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but I do need to see your ID. Otherwise, I risk my job and the store risks a fine.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? Normally, when people ask me for ID, it’s a compliment, but coming from you, you just sound like a bureaucratic snot! Don’t waste my time, and just sell me the d*** game!”

    (Another customer standing behind him taps him on the shoulder.)

    Customer #2: “Hey, you said you’re 31, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah! And this little punk is giving me a hard time about it!”

    Customer #2: “How old is your kid? You may be 31, but you seem a little too young to be the father of a 17-year old, which this game is intended for.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I don’t have any kids. This game is for me!”

    Customer #2: *incredulously* “You’re 31 and still play video games?!”

    (The 31-year old customer turns red and leaves the store in a huff. Since he’s gone, I go on to serve the next customer.)

    Customer #2: “I’m actually older than he is and I play games, too. Since he was adamant about not showing his ID, I figured he had insecurities. I thought it would be fun to mess with him a little, and boy was I right!”

    Customer Service Does (Not) Speak Your Language

    | Topeka, Kansas, USA | Language & Words

    Me: “[Store Name], this is Grace. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “What’s on the down low?”

    Me: *thinking I heard her wrong* “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Caller: “What’s on the down low?”

    Me: “Um, not a lot.”

    Caller: *angrily* “What’s on the down low?”

    Me: “I’m really sorry. I just don’t think I’m understanding you.”

    Caller: “WHAT’S ON THE DOWN LOW?!”

    Me: “What?”

    Caller: “WHAT TIME Y’ALL CLOSE?!”

    Me: “Oh, we close at 9 PM.”

    Ethnically Ethical

    , | Wichita, KS, USA |

    (An older lady is asking me for help with her shopping list.)

    Customer: “Sir, do you…well, I don’t really know if I can say this out loud, but do you have this video game?”

    (The customer points at her list to the game title, “Ethnic Mickey”, which doesn’t exist. We sell “Epic Mickey”.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am…we have Epic Mickey, if that helps.”

    Customer: “Oh, my goodness. Here I was, worried about the title and if it was appropriate. We spoke over the phone, so I guess I misheard.”


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