Being Ageless Gets Old

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Spouses & Partners, Top, Underaged

(A customer comes to my till with a video game. This particular game is for ages 17 and up, but the customer looks no older than 14 or 15.)

Me: “Sir, this game is rated M. Are you over 17 years of age?”

Customer: *sighs* “Alright, hang on. I’ll be back in a minute.”

(The customer leaves the store. Later, he comes back with an older woman, who I assume is his mother.)

Woman: “Honey, which game is it that you wanted?”

Customer: “This one.”

(The customer comes back to my till once more, holding the game he was trying to purchase, with the older woman in tow.)

Me: “Ma’am, just so you know, this game is rated M, so it’s normally meant for people ages 17 and up.”

Woman: “Oh, that won’t be a problem.”

Me: “Just to double-check with you, ma’am, this game’s contents can be pretty violent, so it may not be appropriate for your son.”

Woman: *chuckles* “Oh, he’s not my son.”

Me: “I apologize. But once again, it might not be appropriate for your…nephew? Little brother? Cousin?”

Woman: “He’s none of those, silly! He’s my husband!”

Me: “Whaaaaaaaa?”

(The customer then pulls out his driver’s license, which I carefully examine. According to his date of birth, he’s 33 years old.)

Me: “Okay, so you had ID. Why didn’t you just show me that?”

Customer: “Look at how short and baby-faced I am! If I showed you my ID from the beginning, you would probably think it was fake!”

Me: “Fair enough, you got me there. I mean no disrespect by this, but I did think you were about 14.”

Customer: “Yeah, looking like this is both a blessing and a curse. I even quit drinking because it’s too much of a hassle to buy beer!”

(The customer pays for his game and leaves, while his wife is tries to stifle her laughter.)

Rated I For Immature, Part 2

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Underaged

(A friend and I are working a late shift at a popular video game store. Two kids come in and pick up a copy of Halo 3. This happens to be a mature-rated game (18+), and these kids are obviously far short of that.)

Kid #1: “I’ll take this.”

Coworker: “Sorry, you need to be over 18 to buy that. This is a mature-rated game.”

Kid #2: “YOUR MOM IS A MATURE RATED GAME!”

Coworker: “Get out!”

(The kids swear at us as they leave. The two of us look at each other.)

Me: “What the h*** just happened?!”

Related:
Rated I For Immature

Dopey Duplicators Can’t Dupe Us

| Mississippi, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(Keep in mind that our store keeps records of people who try to trade in or sell defective, illegally copied, or stolen merchandise. One day, a teenage customer comes in with a shoebox filled with about 40 unboxed games for the Nintendo DS.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’d just like to get some cash for these games.”

Coworker: “Alright, I just need to see some ID…”

(My coworker does a quick check and finds that this particular customer is known for having sold us defective and illegally copied games.)

Coworker: “Do all of these games work?”

Customer: *face turns bright red* “Uhh… y-yeah. Yeah, they… they do.”

Coworker: “Are you sure?”

Customer: “Y-yeah.”

Coworker: “Mind if I test this one out?”

(My coworker proceeds to pull out his Nintendo DS. By now, the customer knows he’s been caught and begins shaking.)

Customer: “Y-you know what, never mind. I’m f-f***ing outta here!”

(He left his entire box of games on the counter. Most of them didn’t work, and the ones that did work were obviously copied. We never saw the kid again.)

We With Consoles Are Always Ready To Console

| Billings, MT, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a regular at a game supply store. All the managers and employees know me, and often ask me to help with customers. A customer and her young son walk into store.)

Employee #1: “Hello and welcome to [game supply store], where we sell and trade used games. My name is [employee name]. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Oh, yes… I was looking for a game for my son. I think it’s called [extremely outdated game].”

Employee #1: “I’m sorry, we haven’t had any games for [extremely outdated console] in over four years. We could help you with finding another game from an up-to-date console if you would like.”

Customer: “NO! I want that game for my son to play! He played it at the local pizza place on one of their arcade boxes, or whatever they’re called!”

Employee #1: “Again, ma’am, we do not have [extremely outdated game], but we can surely help you find another game if you would like.”

Customer: “Yeah? Then what about THIS one?!”

(Suddenly, the customer grabs a brand-new game off the shelf and smashes it with her heels.)

Employee #1: “Ma’am, you are gonna have to pay for that. Please stop or I’m gonna have to get management out here.”

Customer: “Fine, go ahead! I don’t f***ing care! I want to talk to the motherf***ing management!”

(The manager comes over.)

Manager: “Ma’am, is everything okay?”

Customer: “No, it’s not f***ing okay! My son wants [extremely outdated game], and he wants it NOW!”

(At this point, the customer’s child finally speaks up.)

Customer’s Son: “Mommy, it’s okay. We can just get the game from [website].”

Customer: “No, no, no, no! We are getting you this game from this store, TODAY! This happened because of your f***ing s****y employee not helping me!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we just can’t have people coming in and smashing our games just whenever they get mad. Again, you are going to have to pay for that, and then please leave the building.”

Customer: “What do you mean, LEAVE the building?! I shouldn’t have to! I’m the customer! I’M ALWAYS RIGHT!”

(With that, the customer loses all control and ATTACKS the manager and the employee #1. Employee #2 and I manage to get her on the ground while employee #1 calls the police. Surprisingly, her son remains completely calm during the entire situation.)

Me: “Little boy, how are you just so calm in all this?”

Customer’s Son: “This isn’t the first time this has happened. Last time, she kicked someone where it hurts a lot, ’cause he fell over crying and stuff.”

Me: “Oh, well, do you have any other parents at home?”

Customer’s Son: “Yeah, just call this number…”

(He proceeds to take a folded piece of paper with delicately written numbers on it. I call the number. Before I can even explain the situation, the man on the other end of the line already seems to know what has happened.)

Me: “Yes, hello?

Man: “Oh, God… don’t tell me she did it again!”

Me: “Yeeeeeeeeep.”

Man: “Yeah, I’ll be over. Which store is it at this time?”

(I give the man our store’s location. About 20 minutes, a big man enters the store. During this time, the police have arrived and are filing the report and interviewing everyone. I have just been interviewed when he comes up and talks to me.)

Man: “Where is she?”

Me: *points at cruiser*

Man: “Thank God.”

(After the big man leaves with the son, employees #1, #2, and the manager come up to me.)

Employee #1: “Who was that?”

Me: “I don’t know, but it sounds like tonight’s gonna be a good one for him.”

(We later found out that the customer was the man’s wife, and the son was later moved to a different home. The son eventually would often spend days at the gaming supply store talking with the employees. Great kid, I’ll tell you that!)

Abandon All Mope Ye Who Enter Here

| Victoria, Australia | Awesome Customers, Love/Romance, Top

(I’m a 21-year-old girl at work and feeling a bit sad, having broken up with my long-term boyfriend earlier in the week. One of our regular customers, who is 24, is standing around talking to me and my female coworker. Another regular customer, a lovely elderly German man who we call ‘Dante’ because of his favourite game, comes in shortly afterwards.)

Me: *to Dante* “Hello! How’s Dante’s Inferno going?”

Dante: “Oh, it’s just great! I love it. But I’ve been playing some other games lately…”

(He goes on to tell us what he’s been up to. The young customer joins the conversation, too. Once Dante has finished telling us what games he’s playing, he turns to the young customer.)

Dante: “So, why do you hang around here, young man? I hope you’re not troubling these lovely girls.”

Young Customer: “Nah, I just hang around and talk, really.”

Dante: “Ahh, I see. You like one of these girls, huh? I know you do!”

Young Customer: *laughs and turns red* “How do you know that?”

Dante: “Well, if you come in every day just to chat, you must not have a girlfriend.” *turns to me* “Darling, are you single?”

Me: “Umm, yeah. I am.”

Dante: “You two should get together! You’re nice and he’s nice…” *turns back to the young customer* “…and you’d get free games!”

Young Customer: “Oh, I dunno. She probably wouldn’t give me free games.”

Dante: “Yes, she would! You’d be her boyfriend. She’d have to!” *turns to me and steps closer, talking softly in my ear* “Just think about it, yes? He’s a good boy. He’d be lucky to have a girl like you!”

Me: *grinning ear-to-ear* “Thanks, I’ll think about it!”

(Two months later, I realised how much of a ‘good boy’ the young customer really was, and it turned out that he’d had a crush on me for a while. We’ve been seeing each other for 8 months now, and a few weeks ago I ran into Dante at a local coffee shop. When I told him he’d been right about us, he was over the moon!)

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